Two Years at the Tennessee Wall

Long post inbound, so skip the paragraphs if you just wanna talk underrated routes.

Just about two years ago, I was here in this section of MP posting about moving to Chattanooga and searching for climbing partners. My wife and I relocated from Sacramento unexpectedly, the result of her acceptance to the nursing program at Chatt State. Neither of us knew anyone within a couple hundred miles or had ever been in this part of the country. She has spent the last two years studying endlessly, but I have a sports writing job that requires me to work at night -- the perfect schedule for local single pitch climbing, as it turns out. With roughly zero other obligations, there was nothing (besides an initial lack of partners) to stop me from pretty much living at the Chattanooga trad crags for the last 22 months.

In that span, I went from my first 10a gear line (Jefferson Airplane!) to sending Hands Across America … and a bunch of other fairly hard routes I found equally enjoyable that receive zero attention. Between the grades of 5.9 to 5.12, there really aren’t many routes at T-Wall, Suck Creek, and Sunset (to a lesser extent) that I haven’t at least attempted. I’m not particularly strong by Chatt standards -- on the rare occasions I go to Synergy, I’m reminded how incredibly weak I am by the bouldering community -- but I push myself on gear and had a time constriction to keep my inner fire burning. More importantly, my life has been enriched from my time in the sandstone belt, and I wanted to show some appreciation now that my wife’s program is complete and it’s time to drive back across the country.

My first handful of partners (the Nashville boys and Hawaiian Jon), the longtime locals I was fortunate enough to ingratiate myself with, my brother-in-arms in the holy war on lichen Carlos, and everyone in the middle -- I love y’all. For anyone else, if you saw me, my flip flops, and my tattered guidebook at one of the crags, I hope we had a chat.

I also want to issue a challenge and encouragement to every Southern trad climber: get out of the quarter mile zone between the main T-Wall waterfall and Golden Locks. It’s a two-mile long cliff! The whole thing has amazing routes! T-Wall left, Cibola, the far East end of T-Wall -- that’s where most of my favorite routes lie. Suck Creek has a few dozen climbs as good as anything at T-Wall, and they will never have a line. I have spent so many days in relative solitude with my partner enjoying the best lines in town -- you can too! Venture forth! The routes are worthy.

In the last year, I’ve found myself feeling somewhere between a manic street preacher and a used car salesman, trying my damnedest to get climbers on stellar routes. I get the hesitation though. I struggled with questing into the unknown until I met the local OGs and had a resource to ask about gear/danger level/quality of routes. Since then, I’ve cleaned up and put a lot of those routes up on MP with accurate info, a process I’ve greatly enjoyed. Still, I want to extend an open offer to anyone else who ends up in that position, looking to break away from trade routes: shoot me a DM anytime, and I can probably tell you what ya need to know. 

Anyway, I spend much of my non-climbing time thinking about climbing. I am constantly debating the merits of various routes with my pals. Some lists for your consideration:

My Five Favorite T-Wall Climbs

• Fox On The Run (quintessential T-Wall)

• Only On Earth (ultimate fitness route, the most perfect jams per square foot at T-Wall)

• Viva La Balance (a perfect face climb. Do a traverse from in Crackattack to avoid the initial 25 feet of easy choss)

• Steepopolis (the most educational route I did in Chattanooga)

• Blood Meridian (atypical, brutal, glorious)

My Favorite T-Wall 5.10s: A Matter Of Great Debate

• Hookers and Blow (epic)

• Centerfold (steep)

• Open Boat Whalers (fun)

• Stepping Stone (adventure)

• Points Of Contact (tech)

Must-Do, Somewhat Obscure Routes For Aspiring Chattanoogan Tradsters (BOLD For BONAFIDE Sleeper CLASSIC)

Suck Creek: Shoot To Thrill 11+, Mountain Madness 12-, Suck Crack 12-, Rainbow Delta 11, Confetti Fingers 11+, Pleasure Burn 11, Five Roofs In Reverse 10+, Rockwork Orange 10-, Goins Route 12, Fuhrer’s Fury 12-, Big Tree 10+, Honeycomb Hideout 10+, Mein Kampf 10, Layaway Plan 10+, Jesus Chainsaw Massacre 11c, The Knockout Artist 12, Bursting At The Seams 12,  The Obsessed 11, Any Way You Slice It 12-

T-Wall Left: Electric Ambiance 5.9, Open Boat Whalers 10-, Hookers and Blow 10+, Crankenstein 11-, Magnum Bro 11-, Explosivo! 12-, Protect and Serve 11+, Heaven’s Gate 12-, Only On Earth 11+, Midget Cage 11b, Killer Diller 10, Air Raid 10+, Homeland Insecurity 12-, Blood Meridian 12+, Violence Is Golden 11c, Combustion Cycle 11, Elephus Maximus 11c, Great Unchoppable 12-, No Name Number One 11, Stand and Deliver 11+, Dreaming Of Beauty 11+, Belly of the Beast 10+, Out On A Whim 10+, Taming The Flaming 11

T-Wall Right: Short Arm Inspection 11+, Proof of Purchase 11c, Steepopolis 12-, Smooth Operator 11c, Viva La Balance 11c, Raving Maniac 12, Devil’s Guard 5.7, Fox on the Run 12-, the best concentration of hard 11s in town: Govinator/Omen/Search of the Source, Airborne 5.9+ (lol), Unknown Soldier 12 (deserves so much more love! Safe! Great! Hard but not a 30-foot monster roof!), Death By Boobalooba 11+, Grandma’s Couch 11-, Hold Your Reptile 10, Turbozone 11

Sunset: Mineral Fright 11, Great White Fright 11+, The Pearl 11, The Beauty 12-, The Beast 12, Black Magic 10, Bolt Pinnacle 11-, Stitch In Time 10+, Boulderer of Fortune 11, Baby Cats 11c, Deck Party 11-. It's not obscure, but Space Ranger could be the best pitch in Chattanooga, so do that too! 

Peace out y’all, I’ll be back during the next drought to tackle some of the perma-seep objectives I missed out on (Raiders Of The Lost Arch :( , Stay of Execution), the routes that scare me (Parting of the Ways, Crime Wave), or the ones I’m currently too weak for (Tamperproof, Two Sides To Wisdom). Somebody please make the second ascent of Carlos and I’s T-Wall FA, Walking Spanish, then tell me how hard you think it is. Remember that T-Wall season is year round! Protect Chattanoogan trad! Don’t underestimate 1990s Steve Goins routes!

If you take nothing else from this overlong post, my final message is this: Turn left at the waterfall, you cowards.

Nothing left of the waterfall is real

Don't think I ever met you Armand, but I know of ya. All the hard and bouldery trad routes on that side of T-Wall will be a playground for you when you decide to quest forth!

Stoked to see your progression from our first day at Sunset to having suitcases launched at me in Suck! Love ya buddy and everyone I’ve met through you, good crew. See ya in Cali sometime! George says hi.

- Jordan

You and George rule buddy! We’ll get after it out west for sure.

Speaking of that Suck Creek route, I think it was called Mirror Palace or something. An 11+ between Five Roofs and The Ramp … not recommended! Jordan isn’t exaggerated, the most rock I’ve ever accidentally knocked off by a country mile

You are hands down the best partner I've ever had or likely ever will have that has also choked me! Looking forward to future outings on the rock and/or on the mats!

High praise buddy, thanks! You won’t have any issues finding a partner next time you’re in the sierras

Andrew Richardson wrote:

High praise buddy, thanks! You won’t have any issues finding a partner next time you’re in the sierras

I would love to get up to the Hulk with you! Please don't choke me out though;)

In any time Sam!

the holy war on lichen!!! Hell yeah bud we uncovered the secret layers of the sandstone belt one badass climb at a time

Since T-Wall season is heating (cooling?) back up, I wanted to bring this post up to again challenge people to quest leftward and generally recommend some amazing routes! I was extremely pleased to look back and see multiple ascents of Great White Fright and Five Roofs In Reverse logged this Summer. Good stuff!!!

Weather permitting, I'll be visiting in just a few weeks as well, so if anyone feels like brushing up Wit's End or Benign Humor ahead of time for me   and for all my homies in this thread, see ya early December!

Fuckin' loved Open Boat Whalers. What a little journey. 

I couldn't make a list of fav T-wall 10s without: Blood on The Rocks, Hidden Assets, and Infinite Pursuit. These aren't off the beaten path by any measure, but damn is it hard to walk by them without making a lap. What a special place. 

Fuck yeah! Looking forward to seeing you!

Can't love this post enough. Good shit, Andrew! 

Who is hitting T-Wall tomorrow Friday 12/13??

Hit up Danny Birchman, Stephen, he’s in this thread. See ya tomorrow! 

Rock on! Message sent. 

A quick update on a successful trip.

I would recommend Benign Humor to experienced trad climbers competent at the 11+ grade. The rock and gear is quite good overall, just fairly untraveled. No anchors but easy to finish on People’s Express chains

I would recommend Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre to anyone capable of 12- roof pulling. There’s a bolt for the crux, and the thin climbing above is both excellent and safe (if a touch exciting on the onsight). It is in great shape and deserves more attention.

I would recommend Benevolence 11- to anyone a bit sick in the head. If you want to go on a choss-filled vision quest and emerge on the other side (hopefully) as a new person, this might be for you … but probably not.

Love y’all. Love the T-Wall. Till next time! 

Yeehaw!! Putting St. V on the radar! Can't wait to get back once I get over this nasty cough, compliments of my three year old. 

Nice job, good seeing you for a second!

Putting feelers out for T-Wall partner tomorrow (12/3)! 

Happy New Year, everyone.