How to make climbing friends

I've been climbing for the past few years. Mainly bouldering and doing some highballs and what not.  I've had a gym membership for about a year and made no climbing friends. I post up in my local group looking for people to climb and never find anyone available. 

I keep reading about these soloists needing rescue or being found dead ..... Could there be a better way to meet people to go climbing?

Some of us surely use it as an escape and to de stress. 

Thoughts?

Most of my climbing friends I’ve either met by chatting with people at the gym, through other climbing friends, or at the bars in climbing towns (bishop, lee vining, mazama, potrero)…  at this point I feel like I’m perpetually having to turn down offers to climb because I’ve already made plans with someone else.  

i guess be friendly/approachable but not weird, and talk about goals you have but don’t spray.  If you find someone with the same/similar goals then you’re good to go, ask them out.

I've found MP to be a good place for finding partners when none of my regular partners are available. Some I've just climbed with once or twice but others have turned into longer-term partnerships. When deciding whether I want to climb with a MP person the three things that I look for are (1) up-to-date tick list with info about lead/follow, redpoint/hung, etc so I know what I'm getting into (2) Using their real name, (3) over 30 (ageist I know but less likely to flake).

https://www.mountainproject.com/forum/topic/110204013/how-to-get-asked-out-on-a-second-date

Are there others posting where you're posting? 

Then OFFER to get out with those people. When I started on MP, I was often the sole reply to people hoping to get out with someone here. In town this weekend, first time to Boise, anyone available to show me the local rock/swap belays types of posts. 

Don't just post what you need, then expect someone to take a big leap of faith and offer. Be honest about what you are capable of, what you bring to the table, and offer that by actually responding 

It looks like you're primarily interested in bouldering anyway, not exactly high risk to go out and have fun with people. 

Best, Helen

Btw, people I've met to climb with are now the tightest friendships I've had in my life, but ya gotta take that risk, take the initiative, and trust people. 

Zachariah Weirphrey wrote:

So, I've come to accept that I'm most likely going to be found dead on a pile of rocks.... 

I've been climbing for the past few years. Mainly bouldering and doing some highballs and what not.  I've had a gym membership for about a year and made no climbing friends. I post up in my local group looking for people to climb and never find anyone available. 

I keep reading about these soloists needing rescue or being found dead ..... Could there be a better way to meet people to go climbing?

Some of us surely use it as an escape and to de stress. 

Thoughts?

You don’t need friends, you need partners. Friends always have strings attached.

Find climbers anyway you can, in the gym and online, introduce yourself with a plan, “Wanna climb Saturday the 18th?”, confidence does wonders.

Go to your local Crag. Sniff some butts. If you find one you like start dry humping her leg. If she growls move on to the next one. If she smiles offer her a belay. Oh wait, I thought this was another dogs at the crag thread.

Greg D wrote:

Go to your local Crag. Sniff some butts. If you find one you like start dry humping her leg. If she growls move on to the next one. If she smiles offer her a belay. Oh wait, I thought this was another dogs at the crag thread. 

Haha, witty post! Keep ‘em coming!

college and university outdoor programs have been melting pots for climbers for 100 years or so.   you don't need to be a student.  just show up.  some of the worlds best climbers have taught at American universities, and some of the worlds best climbers have been products of informal, inexpensive college outdoor program adventures.   At Perdue, you might have learned to climb from Ray Jacquot, who made the first ascent of the Grand Teton's Black Ice Couloir.  One of Jacquot's proteges "Dangerous Dan" Burgette, went on to a climbing career in the National Park Service where he eventually retired as chief ranger of Grand Teton National Park.  One of Burgette's buddies, Dale Watkins, was one of my own earliest climbing mentors at the Colorado College.  At Idaho State University, you might have been mentored up the Black Ice Couloir, or the Nose of El Cap by British ace Bill March, one of his generation's "world's best" ice climbers.  At Stanford, you might have climbed with John Harlin.  At Oregon State University you might have learned from Willi Unsoeld (Everest West Ridge), or Roger Robinson (recently retired from forty years as a Denali National Park climbing ranger) beside "kids" like Stacey Allison (first American woman to summit Everest), or Stacey's best friend Evelyn Lees, one of the first women to achieve full certification from the AMGA, and an Exum guide in the Tetons for about forty years.  At Harvard, you might have learned from/with David Roberts or Don Jensen.  At Dartmouth you might have encountered legendary Teton guide Jack Durrance.  San Diego has enough colleges around.  Check 'em out.

-Haireball

I keep reading about these soloists needing rescue or being found dead ..... Could there be a better way to meet people to go climbing?

There must be! Getting killed is no way to make new friends. Getting rescued probably not the best way to troll for new partners. 

I've found climbers are not magnetic, despite some peoples' attempts to make us sound like some caring community. You have to develop your own magnetism, and that's usually done through your climbing style.

Start with style of climbing: bouldering, sport, trad, alpine, etc. What is it you want these partners to be doing? Lead, belay, equal partner? I'm sure you already know all this. Now set a list of objectives, routes you'd like to do. Now.... when testing a person for partnership, dangle the route, and your enthusiasm, as the bait, instead of yourself.

"I'm going to do X. Join me!"

Cultivate them, I've had success doing this with sailing as well. Turn people on to the activity, its rewarding.

 Another option is to call the Tradiban hotline?

It'd be easy if people just were all friendly with each other, but like any other activity, climbing has its own in-groups that form and strengthen over time. The key is you do have to put in effort (sorry).

When I first started climbing at my local gym, I didn't know anyone, and was a little intimidated to use the whiteboard. I ended up finding people who climbed around the same time and introduced myself.

The key for me was starting a Discord group for my local gym. I put an invite link on the whiteboard and people joined up. Sometimes they even chatted! 160 people and going strong. I wanted a place where I (and others) could just pop in and ask "who's going tonight/tomorrow/X/Y/Z" and naturally form up groups that way. I ended up finding my main partners through Discord, and the acquaintances I made through it helped introduce me to other groups at the gym.

Bouldering is not my specialty but, based on my observations, here's the best partner finding strategy: Find a small rock near a busy parking lot. Drag a crashpad and some loud speakers over to it. Blast something obnoxious (falsetto male voices over mandolins or auto-tuned voice over drum machine). Periodically yell. In no time, you'll be surrounded by like-minded folks.

Finding partners for rope climbing is a bit more nuanced. I find that asking people if they're getting outside, then letting them talk, is a good approach. Often, they aren't getting out because their go-to partner is out of town or not allowed to climb anymore (yes, that's common). Or, they really want to go to a particular crag that their buddies hate (often the case for me).

Finding a safe, reliable partner with similar tastes and schedule... that's the real challenge.

I've always been shy with strangers, especially when I was young. Organized groups were my saving grace. Even though I already knew how to hike, I took a class in hiking that featured after work lectures and overnight field trips. In that group setting, I didn't have to be the extrovert, I was just another student. There was no pressure to "get a date". I found that my quiet studious nature got noticed for what it was: competence. I made some great friends, including my wife. Fast forward 40 years...when I'm at the gym with one of my regular partners and I see a solo climber, I will (with my partners permission) ask them if they want to join us. I've met some great outdoor partners doing that. 

Personally I overheard people talking about plans to go outside, and I just kind of walked up and asked if I could join, introduced myself etc...

Desert Rock Sports wrote:

Personally I overheard people talking about plans to go outside, and I just kind of walked up and asked if I could join, introduced myself etc...

I have like 3 people I can't get the f*ck away from because they did this! No!!!! I was too nice!!!

5Seven Kevin wrote:

I have like 3 people I can't get the f*ck away from because they did this! No!!!! I was too nice!!!

Just give ‘em the Tradiban Hotline as a dummy number.

Mark Webster wrote:

I've always been shy with strangers, especially when I was young. Organized groups were my saving grace. Even though I already knew how to hike, I took a class in hiking that featured after work lectures and overnight field trips. In that group setting, I didn't have to be the extrovert, I was just another student. There was no pressure to "get a date". I found that my quiet studious nature got noticed for what it was: competence. I made some great friends, including my wife. Fast forward 40 years...when I'm at the gym with one of my regular partners and I see a solo climber, I will (with my partners permission) ask them if they want to join us. I've met some great outdoor partners doing that. 

I'll do this at both the gym and busy crags too, the payback is 99% positive. It definitely helps to both climb and boulder and I've always done both. Lots of folks pebble wrestling really want to be climbing, they just don't know any climbers so they are just there hoping to meet people and stay/get strong.

For example, when a party of three walks by at the crag or gym, dont be afraid to ask whats happening.