Teaching a New Climbing Partner

I've been climbing for a little while now but am finding it very hard to find a partner to belay me and whatnot. My girlfriend is interested in climbing and wants to be my partner but she gets very nervous on belay and tends to overthink things, which leads to her completely failing to belay properly and safely. ( Don't worry I tie myself into a top rope solo setup whenever she practices). What tips do you have on teaching her how to manage her fear and how to remember the safe and correct steps to belaying?

unfortunately, a gym membership and classes are just too expensive right now.

You really need to find another partner. If you’re not able to get her to not be fearful thru encouragement and training I’m not sure if anyone else can. Patience on your part will go along way too! Good luck.  

Colton Capps wrote:

I've been climbing for a little while now but am finding it very hard to find a partner to belay me and whatnot. 

Why?  

Belaying isn't difficult, especially top rope belaying.  Have you considered having someone else show her?  We can't all be good learners and good teachers.

Practice on the ground where it's easiest to communicate and there is no danger / anxiety. I made a little 2-bolt anchor setup at home so that my partner and I can practice all sorts of systems, and it's been very helpful in getting them more comfortable with things like rappelling, multi-pitch, etc. Also be patient, takes a while for a new person to learn all these skills and it can be overwhelming.

I've mentored a few newer climbers and patience is key. I find that trying to explain the 'why' of every system helps it stick more. Explaining the purposes of standing close to the wall, no big 'j' loop of slack, why you hold the grigri/belay device a certain way, etc. Then I climb either TRSolo, as you do, or something super 5 easy where I can stop constantly and turn around and offer suggestions and critique on the fly. Additionally, I want educated and critical partners so I encourage them to read and watch video too. You can also go somewhere safe and practice taking some falls so she can see what the whole system looks like at it's 'scariest' moments. In the end, they need to be pretty invested in learning if it's really going to stick and be enjoyable. As other's have said, a third partner will offer exponential dividends. I've gotten a lot of feedback from my new climbers about what they learned from the other party and also feedback from the third person who told me they corrected something pretty major that I wasn't able to see while climbing.

Thank you guys so much for your suggestions!, we don’t get to clikb as much as  I’d like to but I will definitely take things even slower next time we go out and really let her have some time to think while she’s doing it!

Jake woo wrote:

I've mentored a few newer climbers and patience is key. I find that trying to explain the 'why' of every system helps it stick more. Explaining the purposes of standing close to the wall, no big 'j' loop of slack, why you hold the grigri/belay device a certain way, etc. Then I climb either TRSolo, as you do, or something super 5 easy where I can stop constantly and turn around and offer suggestions and critique on the fly. Additionally, I want educated and critical partners so I encourage them to read and watch video too. You can also go somewhere safe and practice taking some falls so she can see what the whole system looks like at it's 'scariest' moments. In the end, they need to be pretty invested in learning if it's really going to stick and be enjoyable. As other's have said, a third partner will offer exponential dividends. I've gotten a lot of feedback from my new climbers about what they learned from the other party and also feedback from the third person who told me they corrected something pretty major that I wasn't able to see while climbing.

This is great advice. All I'd add is that until she gets the lowering down, you can put a friction hitch on the brake strand. That will help her manage your weight (you have to manage the hitch) and will give you some protection if she lets go.

As others said climb in a group of 3.  I’ve climbed with numerous pairs who had me teaching/backup holding the brake end of the rope of the person learning to belay.

If she wants to learn to climb, that's awesome. If she is only doing it to make you happy, you could end up with no climbing partner and no gf. 

Unmotivated climbers/belayers are the most dangerous ones.

J C wrote:

If she wants to learn to climb, that's awesome. If she is only doing it to make you happy, you could end up with no climbing partner and no gf. 

Unmotivated climbers/belayers are the most dangerous ones.

I agree completely. She needs to be paying attention at all times.

Have you considered checking the partners thing on mp and trying to find a third from here? You belay them but then she belays you with them on a backup belay? 

When i learned to belay i only had a little experience rappeling. my cousin threw a grigri in my harness and said "dont touch the black lever unless i call slack or i call that im descending." Freaked me and my aunt out, but it turned out ok... would not recommend this approach though  

If you cant find a third i think Jake Woloschin has a good idea. climb something super easy and have her practice catching your fall.