Etiquette for finding partners as a beginner

Hello,

I am new to Cañon City, and it seems like there is a ton of great rock climbing around, but I haven't met anyone locally who climbs. I am a rank beginner. I've been outdoor climbing a handful of times sporadically in the last 5 or 6 years, and my only two leads were a 5.7 and 5.8, and they were a long time ago, and I need to relearn how to properly do that (I've watched lots of videos, but it ain't exactly the same thing ...) So, basically I know how to lead belay and strugglefest up a 5.9, and that's about it.

So, I'm a little intimidated to ask strangers who are climbing 5.11s to let me tag along to learn and get better because I don't want to slow people down. Any advice on how I can break in to the sport without cramping my partner's style?

Are there proper ways to ask or expectations to set so I can have fun, learn lots and climb a couple times, while making sure the folks I climb with aren't held back?

Thoughts welcome.

Thanks!

- Tom

Be upfront about your (lack of) experience and skills. Some people don't mind bring beginners along and mentoring new people. Some people really don't want to be. You're not in my normal stomping ground but I'll take newbies along when I'm doing a chill group day. On the other hand, I don't want to meet up to push my limits and find that the person belaying me really isn't someone that I want belaying. 

Be careful of who you're learning from. If something doesn't feel safe, be very cautious. Some people have ... questionable climbing practices. If they get defensive when you ask about something safety related, you should probably cut your losses and find a different mentor. The best ones can tell you several ways to do the same thing and why they are choosing this method. They'll discuss major safety issues with methods, limitations, and common mistakes to avoid.

Other avenues to gain experience:

• Hire a guide. They'll show you the ropes and this will probably get you the most comprehensive and potentially overwhelming amount of information.
• Take a class at a gym. You'll get experienced instruction and probably meet other people in the same boat looking for partners.
• Find a mentor. Preferably someone who has climbed frequently for several years. Some things may not be by the book but you're more likely to avoid the worst newbie mistakes.
• Find a meetup. Most of the meetup groups seem to have newbie days and/or having a newbie or two in the group won't be a big detriment.

When you're learning try to do more than your fair share. Offer to carry in more of the gear, buy the first round after climbing, pull and coil the rope if that's what needs to be done, etc. I'll usually decline at first but it shows the person that you're not just looking for a free guide.

Thanks Dan, I appreciate the tips!

Leave this post as is, so it can be found by other beginners, but it really woulda been better in the beginners forum. Partners forums are exactly that. Asking for partners.

Just pop up a new post in this partner forum, and ask.Tell people your abilities, availablity, what you hope to do, offers to split gas, buy beers, whatever is pertinent. People generally are pretty nice about nice requests.

Best, Helen

EDIT to add, the "etiquette" for anyone to find partners, is to hit up whoever you think will do what you want and skip other stuff to do so. After that? Then it gets more...interesting. Begging. Threats. Bribery. Groveling.....

Then you learn to rope solo. Or take up bouldering.

;-)

Thanks Helen, I actually started to do that, and I got a little popup saying this belongs in the partner forum ...

so u think u know how to lead 5.9? but long ago u led a 5.7/5.8? mad sus...

u did not mention sport or trad?

makes a world of difference when posting or replying to partner finder (in app click your profile, your page, edit and add yourself to partner finder then start replying to partner finder listings)

maybe post or reply that u want to follow only, and maybe wait for a few months to then attempt to lead sport or years before u try to lead 5.9 trad

and mention what gear u own and will bring (ideally have and use a grigri or similar auto or semi auto belay device and belay gloves)

also may want to put in your post  if u are 420 friendly or not and if u drink beer will u be bringing some? are they for before during or after climbing and will it be on ice?

Check out Rgold's 'how to get asked on a second date' thread. He lays it out. 

In my experience, experienced climbers who are willing to climb with n00bs fall into a few categories

-Extremely generous, kind, nice people

-Other n00bs (probably easiest to find these but also the most dangerous)

-Chillers who go out in large groups (find these at the short approach sport crag with lots of 5.8-5.10 routes)

-Sketchy / weird people who lack partners

-Travelling climbers who will climb with anyone

-People who want to date / have sex with you

-Professional guides

With your level of experience, you are essentially going to be guided by a more experienced person that you climb with. The key is to find some way to contribute to the day because you will be a drag on a climbing day that is oriented towards performance or climbing volume (number of pitches). Drive, bring beer, etc. Don't be late showing up to meet up with people or bail on them. 

First thing to do is buy a nice, expensive 70m rope and climb on it every day you go out with someone else. Ropes are expensive items that wear out, and toproping can kind of beat the shit out of them. Get a nice one because it's for the experienced person that will be leading (guiding) you, not you. They won't mind climbing on your shitty fat 10.5, but they would much prefer a sleek and supple 9.5.

Another thing you can do is be self-motivated. As soon as you can safely do it, lead your own routes. Put your goals out there: "I want to go to X crag and lead X,Y,Z routes". In sport climbing, I can go out for a day of projecting 5.12 with a 5.7 climber--it's not a problem, as long as that person A) knows how to belay well, B) doesn't expect to have topropes put up for them and C) we want to go to the same type of crags. I lead what I want to climb, you lead what you want to climb. You are comfortable cleaning routes that you put up, and you aren't afraid to leave a carabiner if you have to bail (happens when you are new). Sounds like this is not where you are at right now as far as your skills, but this should be your goal.

I can't recall if he mentions this or not but the last thing I'd say is try fucking hard and be stoked. When I'm going out with a newer climber and they say TAKE all the time, it takes a lot of patience. Strugglefest is not usually enjoyable to be part of. Watching someone really going for it on lead and taking whips is fun no matter what their ability level is. But don't lead stuff over your head if you're going to whine and hesitate your way up the route. People want Sports Action! Give the people what they want. 

Everyone has pretty much covered the bases. Just be proactive, help out, and don't be afraid to be completely transparent about your skills. 

I used to take noobies along when I was in college but slowly phased it out because they would TR everything and wear my gear out quick, not offer to help carry stuff and be complacent with someone else putting up new routes, cleaning, etc. Some of them would refuse to learn how to clean and would never buy gear, so it felt like they were just taking advantage of me. 

If you wanna learn, you gotta put in the work. Also, begin buying your own gear and/or offer to carry ropes, racks, etc. 

You sound like you're on the right track and won't take advantage of people. My friends and I will be doing weekend camping trips to Shelf this fall. Skill levels range from 5.9-5.11+ but we all just like having fun. You're welcome to join in on a trip. Shoot me a DM. 

Tom Dixon wrote:

Thanks Helen, I actually started to do that, and I got a little popup saying this belongs in the partner forum ...

It just saw the word "partner". Ignore at will. ;-) 

Read the other posts, editing to add:

Rgold talks about second date. The important thing is surviving first dates.

I'm one of those kind, generous people who is quite open to new people coming along. I am in no way a rope gun, so how does this work?

Simple.

You come along with my regular climbing partner and I. That way, there's eyes on the ground, all the way around. Single pitch cragging, it's so easy to do this. The rope gun has a trusted belayer, the new person can suss out the other two, and back off, if they see something that's uncomfortable. But, usually, you will have met at a gym or something, if this is hoping to be a more than once thing.

Those random peeps? I talk with them, ahead. Lots. There's a ton of trust there, both ways, if it's just myself and the other.

With that? Be super honest. Keep it low commitment. Keep the back door open. Have bail biners, a stick clip, climb where other people might be around. Don't let wanting to climb overrule your good sense. That kills people kinda too often, imo.

H.

Oh, and I don't expect more than a harness and shoes, on your end of it, especially if it's a try climbing outside for the first time thing. Don't buy a rope yet, either. Climbing on someone else's rope isn't what most leads wanna do, ime, not until that trust is there.