Auto-belay install for el-cap speed climbers

So wtf?!!!! 

 https://www.climbing.com/news/yosemite-national-park-to-install-auto-belay-system-on-el-capitan/ 

:)

Check the date...

I was really excited at first. But then it turns out this will just belay you personally up the rock, and won't actually belay your automobile at all. I really hate having to get out of the car at National Parks. 

Still a step in the right direction, tho.

JonasMR wrote:

I was really excited at first. But then it turns out this will just belay you personally up the rock, and won't actually belay your automobile at all. I really hate having to get out of the car at National Parks. 

Still a step in the right direction, tho.

That was part of Stalone's original plan to get rid of that damn slippery glove glitch on his guided tours. One step at a time!

PatMas wrote: Check the date...

Nah uh bro...I work for the Park Service and I can tell you, this is very real. What we want to do is bring Yosemite into a new era of immersive activity, mostly for people from cities who frequent climbing gyms ( hey and if you drive a tesla that's a plus for the environment *wink*). The auto-belay will just be a test run on El Cap, hopefully we can get some for Sentinal, Half-Dome, After-Six etc. Our vision would be to eliminate roped climbing all together. Its dangerous and not really all that inclusive (I mean, hey I'm not climbing 5.11d trad anytime soon, heyohh!).

Really though our mission would be to have the auto belays and maybe turn El Cap Meadow into a Instagram Influencer workshop. After a full pumpy day on Yosemite's classic's you could come get your picture taken with Instagram's most famous "dirtbag" and "outdoor enthusiasts" influencers. Doesn't that sound fun? We already envision lines backed up to Fern Spring for this. It'll be awesome. 

Glad I could sort this out for everyone here! Oh and I almost forgot, we're also thinking about recreating Yosemite's most famous bouldering problems in a small indoor gym next to Camp 4, eliminating 50 or 60 camping spots but ooohhh maaaann you won't even have to hike into the mosquito infested woods anymore!

It's gonna be awesome. 

Not a fan. How am I supposed to take!?!?

So im 18 pitches up and I fall off and get lowered all the way back down? Lame.

PNW Choss wrote:

So im 18 pitches up and I fall off and get lowered all the way back down? Lame.

Technically it’s only one pitch now, soooo

PNW Choss wrote:

So im 18 pitches up and I fall off and get lowered all the way back down? Lame.

I mean, if you can climb 18 pitches free on El Cap I'd say you're doing ok. Gotta give the next person in line a chance. 

I was actually terrified for a while while reading this till my friend pointed out the date 

Enjoyable read! 

El Slack.  lmao