Best climbing quotes

from a guidebook... I think Cochise or Mt. Lemon maybe?

"I vanquish all fear with two words... you lead."

Galen Rowell: "It would take a 5.10 climber with three arms to free climb Eyeore's Enigma"

Rick Summer (1980): "Interestingly enough, on one with three arms has yet to climb the route. Maybe a third arm gets in the way."

Iyeore's Enigma is a wide route with a roof at Lovers Leap in California (5.9+).

“You can climb in the rain, you just can’t climb as hard”

Plan B is plan A with a raincoat. -Loren Copp

Climbing would be great, if it wasn't for all the climbing.

You did the right thing to cut the rope. Any good climber would have.

Dude, hold on! You're the hand!!

"Mountaineering:  Walking uphill slowly while not feeling very good."   

Don Whillans I think.  

"Fuck, take" -Everyone Projecting 

"There is no cheating in climbing, only lying." - either my guide in RMNP or my bartender in Spearfish last year, who was, in turn, quoting someone else

"Bring me my brown pants"

-Anonymous

"there are good climbers and then there are tall climbers"

- John 3:16

More Don Whillans:

"There are two types of climbers; the smart ones and the dead ones."

Responding to a question about why the stuff sack for his tent was oversized and baggy:  "Because I don't want to be trying to slide a condom on an elephant at 6000 meters."  

nuff said 

Steve Brewer: “I ain’t scared of nothing. Go for it!”

Jim Bridwell: (looks around in amazement) “perfect partner!!”

“El Capitan is a Class 5 climb, according to Rei.com – the highest and most difficult of classifications” - CNN Journalist ( cnn.com/2022/10/27/us/sam-b…) lol

making me feel better about 5.9

“It’s the pants. These god damn slippery pants. This would be easy without these pants.”
-Richey Romano, after failing on some obscure Milllbrook roof that required a hip scum.

"This fucking fucker is fucking fucked." - perhaps uttered by some guy in the UK about some ice tool bashed all to hell on something that wasn't necessarily ice, or something or other

[hopefully somebody with a better recollection of glossy climbing magazines of years past can correct me, or better yet, narrow down the attribution better than me]

What happens if you fall up there?

"Ho man! Do not fall up there!"

Why do you climb?

"Because we're insane! There can't be any other reason!"

My best vacation is your worst nightmare

- Jim Bridwell

Always liked this Mike Borghoff quote from Roper’s 1971 Yosemite Guidebook:

“Here, on this rock, the climber finds his Mecca: the compact, interlocking simplicity of slab on slab, shard and flake and crack and hold, the burning left and right of granite infinity, his essential: the down reflected dome of August’s sun, lips parched and cotton-flecked, the ting-ting of well driven steel or the hollow thump of exfoliation slab; the faraway spice scent of a bay tree…and most splendid of all, the huddled summer bivouac…

Captures the feel of the day well

"Slack!...SLACK!!!....I SAID SLACK ASSHOLE!!!"

"You got a what???"