The Good Clean Fun Thread!

In light of increasing hostilities in the forums how about we bring this back to positivity. So, pick your topic for this thread...

-Tell us a funny climbing story.

-What's your favorite piece of gear and why?

-What area/s have untapped route potential?

-How do you cross train?

-Why do you love your local crag?

-Which climbing camp grounds are awesome and why?

-Why are babies so cute?

I will start...
Babies are cute because they tiny versions of adults and anything miniature is fun (like bouldering). Babies don't know any better and sometimes do things that might hurt themselves, but that's cute because they don't know any better (like trad climbers). Babies have a high strength to weight ratio (like sport climbers) and that's cute because they are tiny but strong for their size. Babies insist on doing everything one excruciating step at a time (like aid climbers) and that's cute because that's how they learn. Babies are cute because they just want to smile, drool, cry, shit, eat, blow spit bubbles, fall over things, suck on their hands, kick off their shoes, watch things that dangle, sit backwards in cars, and annoy their parents (like rock climbers).

I'll take -What area/s have untapped route potential?

secondary vote would be -Which climbing camp grounds are awesome and why?

I guess I should clarify. This thread has multiple topics, so you tell us the answers Red.

I happen to be currently holding a baby hence, my baby commentary.

Why are babies so cute?

Because they haven't grown up to become annoying toddlers like the little shitbird in the next apartment who screams for no apparent reason at all hours of the day/night. He's screaming as I type this if anyone reading this is guessing. He's probably still screaming as you're reading this.

Why do you love your local crag?

Because it's got awesome fall colors. It's got more than climbing, such as fun hiking, fishing, swimming, sand volleyball, etc. It's got busy and quiet crags, hard and easy stuff in proximity to each other. Anything you're group is looking for it can accommodate.

How do you cross train?

In the off-season I shovel a lot of snow, which helps with endurance. I also curse the snow loudly as I shovel, which helps my intensity and focus, as well as increasing lung capacity.

How do you cross train?

I cross train by riding horses. Both sports are much more core-intensive than you'd think, and the balance required in riding benefits my climbing immensely. New riders and climbers always want to start out by doing most of the work with their arms, but through education and practice learn to do more of the work with the legs and core.

Trad Ninja wrote:In light of increasing hostilities in the forums how about we bring this back to positivity.

Hostilities?! Ah, dude, speak for yourself. I've had an awesome day of procrastination. In fact, I put the "pro" in "crastination" today. Could of had a paper done, but, nope, I bottled up my genius and just lathered you all in it. And you took it, Mountain Project, you took it like a wet cat.

Trad Ninja wrote:-Tell us a funny climbing story.

I got to the top of a route the other day and discovered that the coffee shit I'd been holding back all morning hadn't gone anywhere. There was about to be a brown geyser. Quicker than my partner can say "I'll go down to the truck to get some tp!" I popped a squat in a corner and spackled the ground with a pumpkin-colored patty.

I guess that story wasn't really funny though. More like gross and an example of my irresponsibility. And my partner hasn't been the same since either.

Trad Ninja wrote:-What's your favorite piece of gear and why?

The pink tricam because it isn't ashamed of its sexuality.

Trad Ninja wrote:-What area/s have untapped route potential?

The one having the most fun.

Trad Ninja wrote:-How do you cross train?

Posting rants to climbing boards.

Trad Ninja wrote:-Why do you love your local crag?

It's the joy of knowing I'm better the non-locals who come there that really makes me happy. Wait, no, smug. That's the word.

Trad Ninja wrote:-Which climbing camp grounds are awesome and why?

Camp 4 because it's way crowded and that nasally dude won't shut up about his off-width proj in J Tree until three in the morning.

Trad Ninja wrote:-Why are babies so cute?

Because they can't talk yet.

Here is a funny story I thought I would share....... It happened when I was setting my favorite piece of gear- a # 3 Camalot ....... I was at this new place that has HUGE potential for new routes that I first found when I was actually out running doing some cross training.....anyway this spot is not quite as good as my favorite crag- there is not any gator skin patina like at Thunder Ridge yet it seemed okay, looking down above this beautiful campground I could see this cute little baby crawling around chasing a little puppy ............it was all so picturesque that I couldn't help but laugh......for a moment I forgot how scared I really was before I knew it I just re-racked my cam and ran it out to the top . Funny or no. Hmmmm.......

Speaking of poop and climbing...

I was climbing with a couple friends at Golden Cliffs last year. One of my friends was leading. He takes a fall a good ways up the route, and when we asked him if he was going to finish the route, he yells that he needs to come down immediately. Thinking he was hurt somehow, I quickly lowered him down. As soon as he touched the ground, he leans over with his hands on a boulder and started breathing really heavily. At this point my other friend and I are thinking something is seriously wrong. We ask him if he's hurt, to which he replies, "Boys I'm not going to lie. I just shit my pants." Apparently he'd been fighting some...well, runny-ness I guess you could say, and the impact of the fall made it impossible to hold back any longer.

vimeo.com/13831211

Since we're poo-jacking this thread, I believe the time for this gem is nigh. If you missed it in its first circulation on the climbing sites, you are about to watch your new favorite poo-related climbing video...

Poop? I don't think that was a topic choice but the public has spoken so here it goes;

We were having a great day climbing Epinephrine and just finished the chimney pitches. My partner was huffing and puffing and had been complaining that he had to take a shit the whole time (I forced one out at the base). We topped out on the ledge and he exclaims "OH MY GOD!" while whipping off his pants and harness, the harness almost falls off the edge and I catch it and then he sits in the crack at the base of the wall and proceeds to release the beast. Finally exhausted he lights up some cigs to celebrate pants less with a great view of Vegas. Then, without me realizing it he takes the sharp end and I wind up standing in stench for the next 30 minutes. Fucker.

My mentor's trademark seemed to be leaving soiled underwear. Happened on three occasions I was with him. I'm glad to say I only picked up his good habits.

My favorite gear would definitely be the my small stiffened tricams. I rack the black, pink, red, and brown on almost every climb and often use blues for gear anchors. They are each special to me in many ways (ok, pinky is my favorite). Though my new purple Totem cam has been quickly adopted as a go-to piece.

The best area with untapped potential is ... definitely Afghanistan. Too bad the locals are a pain in the ass and want to keep all the beta a secret.

I cross train with calisthenics and dancing. My favorite exercise right now is traveling up and down stairs doing pushups, arms on alternate steps. Going up is a great power workout and going down, I'll skip steps to work on body tension.

Phenomenal. Works the front of your shoulders through a curvilinear range of motion rather than linear, which is what the body needs.

Growing up I loved the crag at the bottom of the driveway. A lot of firsts down there, kiss, smoke, send was the name of the game.

Babies are so cute because they make the perfect rest day excuse. Plus someday they will be V11 crushing 9 yr olds.

Thank you for all the smiles & laughs. Best thread in a long time.

"-How do you cross train? "

I used to travel with a eurorail pass. Its actually quite expensive but if you plan well and can suffer, sometimes you can get your money's worth. Anyway. Its fun to see if you can elude the conductor from stamping your pass or checking your train ticket.

When you see him/her coming you can try ducking into the between train WC. Sometimes when you open the door, the conductor is gone and you can go to a forward car to hide. Pretending to be comatose doesn't work. They are very persistent.

"someone must have stolen it" - you must pay
"I was just about to write my trip in" - you must pay
"I thought the ticket included a berth" - you must pay
"I helped you quell the riot outside PortBou" - you must pay

Actually I have been caught at least 3 times. Its usually friendly and costly. Good luck crossing trains.

Steve

this just goes to show mountain project is filled with boarded dudes whos idea of funny is shitting themselves

Once I was climbing at Enchanted Rock near Austin Tx. It's a rad place, with a lot of fun, but bold, granite climbing. At the time I had just really started getting into climbing, and was doing a 5.9 slab route that had 2 bolts on it. Somehow I managed to make it through without falling. So we set up a top rope and my friends started going up and down.

I look over to the group next to us, maybe 30 yards away and notice a guy is way run out over the only bolt on a route and not moving. He'd been there since I was at the anchors of the route I just led. I hear them sort of yelling back and forth about sending a trad rack up to the guy. There isn't a crack in 50 ft of where he is. At this time I decide I better run over there and figure out what the hell is going on. Well, the leader, an Indian (dot not feather), is up there yelling:

"NO NO! It's only psychological!!!" over and over and over.

I get the idea that he is on a decent stance but getting tired and there is no way he's going to continue up. Definitely in ground fall zone maybe 45 feet up and the first bolt was 15 feet off the deck. So I sprint back over to our site, grab the other rope, and french free my way up our route continue past the anchors run around the top and set up above this guy. I coil the rope out, tie a bight with a biner attached, and then have to make a toss to get the rope to him, as he is still 15 or so feet to my left and maybe 20 ft down. I calmly explain to him to not lunge for the rope or make any sudden movements and that I would re-toss if I missed.

I make the throw and I couldn't have made a better throw if my last name was Marino. The biner literally dropped between his hands. Dude asks me what he's supposed to do with the biner. I stare at him and think maybe I should just pull the rope back and leave. I think better of that, then tell him to clip it into his D loop. He does this and then finishes the route after a few falls.

In my haste to get the guy a rope I had threaded the anchors and then plugged a quick piece in above where I could stand and deal with the rope on flat ground. So this whole thing is happening with me belaying off my harness. If I'd thought I had more time I would have done it differently.

So I start to lower the guy off my harness. As he goes down the dome I lose sight of him, then all the sudden the rope un-weights, but I know he is still not on the ground. Suddenly there is a big lurch in the rope and I notice it feels much heavier, so I start yelling down to figure out what is going on. Apparently when they had decided a trad rack would be necessary to protect the blank face another member of their party had gotten herself ledged out about 15 ft up. So she tied on as well to that guy without any prior warning to me. They also then decided that the two of them should run across the slab and try and rescue the draw at this same time. I'm telling you, I've met sacks of hammers with more intelligence. At this point I blow it. These people are utterly incompetent. I yell out a string of profanities and immediately deck them as fast as I could safely do it.

I set up a rap, go down pick their draw, get to the ground, and the first thing the guy says to me is "Hey, thanks for getting my draw can I have it?". I stare blankly into their stupid little souls, and wonder if I had just made a mistake. Maybe it was supposed to be this guys time, maybe the rest of these morons would have quit after watching their friend break both his legs. Instead, I calmed my self, told them all to learn how to read a guide book, learn how to climb, and to not put others at risk with their stupidity. Then I left.

I'll never forget that high pitched, nasally, Indian accent yelling out "NO NO, IT'S ONLY PSYCHOLOGICAL!"

Favorite Gear:
I've fallen in love with DMM off-set nuts. Its ridiculous the flaring crap they will fit in. Never leave the ground without them.

Favorite Gear

I've said it 1000 times, but...TOTEM CAMS!!! Best camming device on the market IMO.

muttonface wrote: Someone shitting themselves, or even the thought of myself releasing my bowels involuntarily or unintentionally will always be funny. I don't see how it could be perceived any other way.

Sometimes it's true that if you can't laugh you'll cry.

Favorite Gear

I've said it 1000 times, but...TOTEM CAMS!!! Best camming device on the market IMO. - Evan Sanders

I'd been pretty unimpressed by the Totem cam deal. Sounds cool but why fix what isn't broken? Then, recently, I saw a pro climber slotting one of these bad ass units in a climbing vid and I realized that I actually really want a set. Advertising works on the weak-minded.

Zeke wrote:\I'd been pretty unimpressed by the Totem cam deal. Sounds cool but why fix what isn't broken? Then, recently, I saw a pro climber slotting one of these bad ass units in a climbing vid and I realized that I actually really want a set. Advertising works on the weak-minded.

I don't think of it as fixing what's not broken, you can't compare very well Totem cams and other cams. It's like trying to compare a tricam to a c4. Other cams are SLCDs, while Totems are the first DLCD. They just added to the market.

DLCD? enlighten me.

Direct load camming device.