Thread with the descriptions of different types of climbers?

I can't seem to find it no matter what I search, does anybody remember the thread that was poking fun at the different types of climbers? E.g. sport climbers smoking weed, trad climbers being out of shape, solo climbers wanting to die and so on?

Nobody remembers this?

I do remember this...It might be in the "why people hate boulderers" thread but I'll check around.

I have searched everything I could think of, I remember for boulderers it said they were scared of heights.

Awesome!! Thank you!

That was one of the posts posts I have ever read. Thanks!

Gawd I am bored. I need to go climbing.

I was hesitant to even look at this thread. I want these types of discussions to go away.... But this Quote from Brian made me piss my pants. Hilarious.. Thank you Brian.

""Hate" is a pretty strong word. I think that all types of climbers like to feel just a bit superior to the others. AND it is fun to poke fun at the kind of climbing you don't do. Here is definitions of the types of climbers. Now don't anyone take this too seriously. Fun is poked at everyone in pretty equal proportions.

Bouldering: You climb without a rope near the ground on boulders or at the base of a cliff. You never climb farther than you are willing to fall. Falls are usually broken by use of a padded “crash” pad. Helps build finger strength and footwork.
Comment: Not really climbing. For people afraid of heights who like to talk about the moves more than doing them, who like wearing wool beanies in the summer, who “spray” (brag), “pull” (climb), have “rad problems” (routes), and “crush” them when they climb them. Commonly start problems by sitting on the ground. Get freaked out by the exposure when their chalk bag clears the ground. What’s the hardest thing about bouldering?...Coming out to your parents. Bouldering men: are really boys. Bouldering women: are really girls, though cute in those beanies and Prana pants.

Free Soloing: You are climbing alone way above the ground without any protection. If you fall you will die or be seriously injured.
Comment: Free soloing is about lonely mentally deranged people who can't tie knots and have a death wish but are too chicken to just jump.

Soloing: You are climbing alone with gear. Each pitch has to be climbed on self-belay then rappelled and cleaned by the climber who then ascends back up the rope using ascenders.
Comment: Solo climbing is about people with no friends who talk to themselves.

Aid climbing – Used to climb big walls and routes that are too hard to be free climbed. Aid climbing is when you commit your body weight directly to protection in order to rest or ascend. Uses rope ladders called etiers.
Comment: Not really climbing the cliff, really climbing the rope/gear. It is for people with infinite patience and time on their hands.

Gym Climbing : Climbing indoors in a rock climbing gym with pre-set top-ropes or lead climbing.
Comment: Someone who climbs almost exclusively indoors is known as a gym rat. Climbing posers whose primary aim (whether male or female) is to pick up guys.

Sport climbing: The climber clips quickdraws (slings with biners) into pre-existing bolted hangers for protection. Routes tend to be hard requiring athleticism.
Comment: Sport climbing is neither. Sport climber: Chalks up, backs away, re-chalks, breathes deep, re-chalks, and looks at climb again. Climbs without shirts call each other “dude” regardless of gender and “sends” route (no one knows where) instead of climbs them. Can be seen carrying a stick-clip for high first clips they are afraid to climb to. Often climbs with boom box blaring heavy medal or hip hop. Sport climber men: shaves body hair, wears Capri pants, and smokes dope to excess. Sport climber women: wear Capri pants, sport bras, and are hot. For girly-men and hot chicks.

Top Roping: a climbing rope runs through an anchor set-up at the top of the cliff, to the climber. Cliffs must be less than half the rope length for a sling shot/social belay or else you have to belay from the top of the cliff.
Comment: Top roping is like masturbation…it will satisfy the urge when you can’t get the real thing.

Traditional (Trad) Climbing: The leader places protection as he/she climbs and the “second” removes the protection when he/she follows. Trad is used to climb multi-pitch (more than a rope length) routes and mountains to get to the summit. When in the mountains, and especially when mixed with ice/snow, it is called alpine climbing.
Comment: This is the only true climbing. In addition to climbing ability it takes mechanical aptitude and big cojones. Trad climbers consider themselves morally superior to all others. Trad climber men: middle-aged with belly, belches, farts, picks nose, pisses off cliff, swears frequently, and drinks alcohol to excess. Wishes they could climb harder than 5.4 so they could hang with the hot sport climbing chicks. Trad climber women: same qualities as men. "