Off Piste Comments at the crag...overheard or otherwise.

Ok the last time i heard something like this was about a year ago. Then, today i hear another totally "what the?" random comment from a nearby climber.

2009 - one 289lb guy about 2/3 up the 3rd flatiron with a bunch of his buds. Pulls one from his joint and says "man, this is so fuckin awesome, i could spread my seed all over this rock".

2010 (today) - husband who says to his wife while topropping (belayed by his buddy) and i'm standing in between whilst he says "way to go babe, when i get home i'm going to DO YOU". Errr, Umm, did you realize both my 2 year old daugher and your kids are STANDING RIGHT HERE????

Frankly, I find it kinda funny and good to know that there are stranger people than me....sometimes.

So, I put it out to MoPro readers. What's the wierdest thing you've heard at the crag? Or 4 pitches up, for that matter?

From noobs to belayer,(often) after they get about 30 ft up a climb: " did you check my knot out?"

"doood... I'm so ripped right now... I don't know if I can do this."

What does "off piste" mean?

piste–noun
1. a track or trail, as a downhill ski run or a spoor made by a wild animal.
2. (in fencing) a regulation-size strip, usually 2 meters wide and 14 meters long, on which fencers compete.

dictionary.com

Casey Bernal wrote:What does "off piste" mean?

It's usually used by skiers, especially while drinking Cosmopolitans apres ski, to let other skiers know that they are sophisticated and capable of skiing in the Alps, regardless of whether or not they've ever skied there.

Liked it better when I thought it was a word play on "pissed off."

I thought there was a new meaning for the phrase.

also from dictionary.com:
off-piste
[awf-peest, of]
–adverb, adjective
on an unprepared, trackless area away from regular ski runs: off-piste skiing.

What does this have to do with climbing? Or even insemination of crags? I have had several conversations of backcountry skiing, and cerainly overheard more, but none had any offensive overtones like mentioned above. Pardon my sarcastically-ignorant act.

Perhaps off-color is a more applicable term?

Casey Bernal wrote:What does this have to do with climbing? Or even insemination of crags? I have had several conversations of backcountry skiing, and cerainly overheard more, but none had any offensive overtones like mentioned above. Pardon my sarcastically-ignorant act. Perhaps off-color is a more applicable term?

If you french fry, when you're suppose to pizza, you're going to have a bad time...

Casey Bernal wrote:I thought there was a new meaning for the phrase. also from dictionary.com: off-piste [awf-peest, of] –adverb, adjective on an unprepared, trackless area away from regular ski runs: off-piste skiing. What does this have to do with climbing? Or even insemination of crags? I have had several conversations of backcountry skiing, and cerainly overheard more, but none had any offensive overtones like mentioned above. Pardon my sarcastically-ignorant act. Perhaps off-color is a more applicable term?

It's just a clever way of asking what off-route, off norm, senseless and futile comments have we heard while climbing. Always fun to overhear the blabberings of someone mentally lost or confused while on a route.

Also heard often, on a tic marked chalk-map of a climb: "Where does it go now? I'm lost"

Holy rope drag batman!

Bump....
This has been a good discussion. Particularly funny was the sited definition of "piste" being "a spoor made by a wild animal" . Well that seems to very much apply to the dude "spreading his seed".

BTW, i just noticed that both of my overheard comments were sexual inuendos....

Thanks y'all.

As I was all lazy, and comfortably sitting on my ass, while looking up at my friend who was cruxing on a 5.11 sport route, a pen fell out of his pocket down to me. I knew what kind of pens he used, so I immediately blurted to our mutual friends at the base, "Uh, oh, Mike's Uni-Ball dropped!" Of course, he didn't know his Uni-Ball pen had fallen out, and as we giggled loudly, and as he was still cruxing, he yelled, "Fu*k off!!" It was the first time I ever saw him angry, and the first time he cursed at us. The strange thing is that my friends who also laughed didn't know (until I told them) that I was talking about his fallen pen. It was so weird.

Mike was just upset that now everyone knew about his 'Uni-ball construction' that was a well kept secret before that. Nice one GiGi.

I was on the White Whale up at Lumpy, with a party climbing next to us on Hiatus. The leader on Hiatus takes like a 25 foot slab fall, whips out his cell phone and calls for route beta from a buddy. Classic...

Again White Whale at Lumpy (sensing a area pattern?)an older but fledgling leader makes it to the 1st pitch tree belay totally gassed. He proceeds to ask another unrelated climber who was rapping from the belay if he can clean his gear for him. The second climber was gracious enough to say yes, but it was the LONGEST second I've heard. Everyone in earshot just paused..."you want me to clean your gear"??

My two favorites (although they've probably been heard here before):

1) female climber to another female climber: "Spread your legs; trust the rubber!"
2) "Ha Ha, Billy has tiny nuts and no Friends!"

Me: "Hold that stance and I will take a picture".

Young woman I was belaying: "Make sure you get my butt and not my face!".

Me, to myself: "WTF?".

Lee Smith wrote: Me, to myself: "WTF?".

To answer that question, we'd need to see both the butt and the face.

Post 'em up!

Girl climbing out of our view in a crowded area:

"Oh, oh take me! Take me hon right now!!"

Meaning 'Take' of course, turned everyone's head.

BackCountry wrote:"doood... I'm so ripped right now... I don't know if I can do this."

i have definitely let that one slip once or twice

In Joshua Tree, a friend went up to John Rosholt and asked, "hey have you done Fisticuffs?"

"Yup."

"So, what size cams does it take?"

"I dunno. When I did it, we didn't have cams."

• **********************************************************

In the Grand Wall lot, I was racking up, when this huge limo pulled up and a bunch of tourists got out and started observing the climbers through binocullars. One woman came over me and asked me if I was a climber, when I said "yes," she said "can I ask you a question?

"Sure," I said.

"Well, I know that when they come down the rock, it's called rappeling. But what do you call it when you go UP the mountain face?"