You might be a climber if...

The hottest and the coldest you have ever been was climbing and you still had a good time

yer gunna die.

Your hands are bleeding but you can’t remember why.

...the most expensive suit you own is gore-tex.

you reply back with all the booty rules when someone asks for their gear back on Mountain Project.

you wear approach shoes everywhere.

you look like you need a decent meal.

you have lots of calluses.

you hate gyms,chalk and gangroping but have a membership, own chalk bucket and go out with five of your friends every weekend.

You get mad at the government for shutting down national parks...

You believe the government is going to shut down

You wear your prussiks on your harness at the gym

You own more Prana pants and shorts than clean tighty-white underwear briefs.
OR, your Prana pants and clean shirt are your best dress clothes for attending weddings and funerals.

Your oldest 'friend is a late 70's era solid stem Friend.

You carry super glue in your chalk bag

You don't use the toothbrush for your teeth

in any waiting situation you are checking the purchase of all the edges in the area with your fingertips (and feet if it looks like you can get away with it).

The term "Woody" makes your fingers/forearms ache : )

You're driving to the YNP and hope that the govt. shuts down. Free camping and no crowds, yaay!

^^^ I'll see you Wed

You take pride in being called a crack head.

You consider a 1x5ft sloping ledge 2000ft off the ground a "Plush bivy for 2"

You have no idea if the brown stain on your pants is blood, dirt, or coffee from this morning.

you're proud to be a dirtbag..

You look at random cliff bands and see nothing but route potential and gear placement possibilities.

... you own one pair of sneakers and 6 pairs of climbing shoes.

... when you explain to customers that the scars on your hands are from fist fights with granite.

...the most important date of the year is when raptor closures lift.
...your brother gives, as a wedding gift to you and your new bride, a climbing rope.
...your big toe has been numb for five years.

When u hear "watch the tube" you look for a shit-filled pipe.

you have used your rope as a bed ;)