TR: Gumby winter ascent of Zodiac, El Capitan

On December 30th, I found myself in Yosemite Valley, bored and with no climbing partner. I passed out in a lounge chair in Curry Village where I was awoken by a group of screaming babies. They were annoying enough that I motivated, got up, and hitchhiked to the base of El Cap. After looking around the base of Zodiac, I decided to swing by the alcove where I met a crazy guy, Rex.

Eager to do a bit of aid climbing, Rex and I fixed the lower pitches of Zodiac over the next couple of days. Somehow he convinced me it would be fun to do the direct variation to the first pitch, and I ended up clipping seven fixed copperheads in a row. Rawr. The following pitches soaked us with runoff, but we got to the top of the fifth, rappelled and fixed ropes to the ground.

A couple of days later, Ryan and I found ourselves with a full piggy(haulbag) at the base of El Cap. We took one last poop on the ground, and started jugging(ascending) 500 feet of fixed lines and hauling the piggy. Blastoff.



Ryan led the cruxy Black Tower pitch as the sun set. He didn't splatter himself across the aptly named obelisk, and I slept in a portaledge for the first time.

The following afternoon we tackled the epic “Nipple Pitch,” where Ryan had the opportunity to traverse a hundred feet by leapfrogging cam hooks. They held, he didn't take a screaming pendulum, and I followed the pitch. We arrived at the overhanging belay and settled into the portaledge as it rocked around like a rowboat. Somehow the exposure seemed less with the huge Mark of Zorro roof above us.





On the morning of the third day, our pace slowed to that of a fast-moving glacier. After recovering from a bit of dehydration, we started moving again. Ryan led through the Mark of Zorro pitch as I watched a couple of small storm systems brew just West of the valley.



Our weather report had said four days of good weather, but it was the third day and the sky looked treacherous. The wind picked up and raindrops started flying. What if a big winter storm was on its way? The rest of the route was unsheltered. The Mark of Zorro overhang would be difficult and time-consuming to reverse. We were committed to the route.

I started the twelfth pitch and came to a spooky hook traverse. I imagined myself cheesegrating down the slab, penduluming into space and being chewed to pieces by the flakes below. I tried putting a bat hook into an obvious hole, but as soon as I weighted it, it popped out. Oddly I caught myself on crimps and a foot ledge. I tried talon hooking the same hole – that also popped out. I was scared of the weather, scared of the traverse in front of me, and scared that we were so committed.
“Ryan! I'm really scared! I don't think I can do this!”
“TOO F**KING BAD.”
I remembered that I am in fact endowed with a pair of cajones, figured out the sequence, committed, and finished the pitch.

As I began hauling the piggy Ryan screamed for me to stop. The haulbag was attached to the haul line with a locking carabiner. Somehow the lock had unscrewed, and the bag was hanging on the rope by the nose of the carabiner, with the gate open. Our entire haulbag - water, food, sleeping bags, portaledge...etc. could have easily taken a screaming ride into the abyss and splattering all over the valley floor.

Ryan fixed the mess, cleaned the pitch and we set up the portaledge in the rain.



On the fourth day we sped up, even moving as fast as molasses. No glacier could keep up with us anymore. Ryan had the pleasure of leading through the runoff waterfall. I tackled the offwidth pitch, fumbled and popped out a #5 Camalot, and caught myself on a tipped-out, marginal #4, 25 feet above my last piece. Yikes. Ryan cruised the fragile flake pitch as night fell, and we were a mere 90 feet from the top as another small storm rolled in. Annoyed, we set up the portaledge in the rain one last time. Ryan laughed maniacally once in his sleeping bag, “You do realize we're surprisingly close to pulling off a gumby ascent of Zodiac in winter, right?”







Team Snail awoke on the fifth morning, Sunday January 10th, and I took the sharp end again. I pulled over a lip around nine or ten, and I yelled to my buddy “Yo homes, off belay!” Looked at my kindgom and I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.





I really don't want this story to sound more impressive than it actually is.

We weren't even the first ones up El Cap this year. Two guys cruised Tangerine Trip in 4 days, finishing two days before us. Steve Schneider soloed Genesis(first winter ascent?) and topped out the evening before us.

Yes, it was a big step up for both of us, and I wish I could say that we used truckloads of ambition to overcome a lack of experience. I think it's more accurate to say that we were pussies and used siege tactics.

Yes, we did it in the middle of winter, and I'd love to say my first time up El Capitan was in winter. But we had weather reminiscent of May. Half the time we were in t-shirts. Sometimes winter in California doesn't really count as winter.

Either we didn't suffer enough, or my brain has already blocked out most of the unpleasant memories. My most vivid memory is eating canned peaches at the top on a warm California day. The conclusion? I simply need to go harder, higher, and faster.

Great TR! As much fun to read as any magazine article (but with more pictures!). Thanks for taking the time to write that up

Yes! That's pretty F'in rad man. I'm curious exactly how much aid and wall expereince did both of you have? Zodiac is A4 right? isn't that the a4 that lowe, fowler etc. did clean @ c4? How much went clean for you guys? Inspiring!

I need to get my ass out to the valley asap! I really want to climb a big wall!

Zodiac is C3/A2, Sometimes called C3+. We placed about 15 pitons. There are a LOT of pin scars in Zodiac. Offset cams, offset nuts, and cam hooks work pretty well, but every once in a while we got scared and nailed in a big piton.

I had only done two walls prior... S. Face of Washington Column and W. Face of Leaning Tower. But living and climbing in the cold in Colorado really helped. Yosemite seemed pretty mild by comparison.

Ryan did WFLT with me, and he's also done the Prow and an obscure 3-day wall in Mexico. He has more experience than me which helped a lot, but it was still a big step up for him too.

Sweet dude! I've been waiting to hear this one! You are a little bit of a pussy, but I forgive you.

way to do it up!

hey nothing wrong with fixin. it's your game and no one elses.

you state it how it goes, with no lying (cept on the portaledge), and topped out with out dying.

way successful! and that weather could have turned sour. cali-winter just starting up is big balls.

F*in awesome TR guys! Way to get after it!

Proud man, sounds like an adventure! I can't wait to get back to the Valley this spring, look forward to seeing you there.
-Scott

Going to the country, gonna have myself some peaches...

I don't even know if those are the lyrics. Great job.

great job Colin! Awesome TR too! you should do a club slide show soon....

maybe it's the shield I'm thinking of, too many iconic routes out there to try to remember especially having not actually ever climbed there. Props either way.

Yo, Colin! Solid work, man, I'm glad to see you're getting after it.

Also, I thought you and your friend did the Nose this past summer...did that not end up happening?

Killer TR, I'm jealous!

Cool TR, but you can probably leave out "took one more poop on the ground" if you wanna make it to Rock and Ice!!! :o)

Go Team Snail!

Very nice.

Well done bro! Was wondering if you were gonna make that happen. Next stop, Diamond in Winter??

I heard y'all wind-chiming there one evening as the sun went down- nice work getting it done in between the storms.

Thanks everyone for the kind replies!

@Scott McMahon: at least I left out pooping while on the wall =)

David: no, never got around to El Cap, or Half Dome for that matter. I was feeling strong and ready in July, but it was so hot and camp 4 had turned into touron city... almost no climbers. Left me lusting after it more!

Adam: Nah, I'm skipping the Diamond. Off to solo the Rupal Face next week.

Colin Simon wrote:Thanks everyone for the kind replies! @Scott McMahon: at least I left out pooping while on the wall =) David: no, never got around to El Cap, or Half Dome for that matter. I was feeling strong and ready in July, but it was so hot and camp 4 had turned into touron city... almost no climbers. Left me lusting after it more! Adam: Nah, I'm skipping the Diamond. Off to solo the Rupal Face next week.

Pooping on the wall, now THAT is part of a TR!!!! Poop logistics!!

Hey Colin,
Im headed to the valley in June and am thinking zodiac. what did your rack look like? and did you do it with 60 m ropes or longer? great TR, got me psyched.

Hey craig! that's awesome that you're psyched.

As far as the rack goes, supertopo is pretty accurate, except in that it assumes there is little to no fixed gear. When I did it there was a moderate amount. We didn't have to put in any copperheads, but we sure clipped a bunch.

So, I would go heavy on the clean gear, particularly offset cams, offset nuts, hooks, and sawed angles(you hand place them). I'd go light on the iron. Those rivet hangers are important for some of the lower pitches.

Also, we did it with two #4 camalots and one #5 for the offwidth pitch, and I was scared. A friend of mine did it in June and he said he recommends that same rack to anyone. That's up to you and how comfortable you are bumping a piece for a long time.

Yeah, 60m ropes were great. Do you have any fixing plans?

Who are you doing it with?

This winter I did Zenyatta Mondatta! Harder, but I knew what to expect. Here's my partner's trip report, check it out!
cheynelempe.blogspot.com/20…