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By AnthonyM
Apr 30, 2012
Maroon Bells-Bell Cord Couloir
Ok...
So I need opinions-I am getting married in June and just got back from Moab. Now I have helped with Wedding planning, done my chores, etc.

I was wondering how reasonable it is for my future bride to ask me to lay off climbing for the month surrounding the wedding because it would stress her even more out.

Is this reasonable? I don't get injured a ton and was curious how you all would take it... Should I say the hell with it and plan to climb (just a day trip or two) inside that window anyways?

I would like your feedback!

Thanks.

FLAG
By Josh Kornish
From Missoula, MT
May 1, 2012
Humboldt Bouldering
Keep climbing

FLAG
By bergbryce
From South Lake Tahoe, CA
May 1, 2012
weddings are stupid, get married at the courthouse. she should be out roping up with you.

FLAG
By Ben Beckerich
From saint helens, oregon
May 1, 2012
About half way up the East Arete on Illumination Rock
The poster above me has the truth of it, though it's an irrelevant truth, depending. But I can tell you, if I could do it over again, I would have done the whole marriage thing differently. Would have been justice-of-the-peace, and she would have known she was marrying a climber, and that wasn't going to change.

Does she know she's marrying a climber, and that isn't going to change? You better make damn sure there's no misunderstandings there...

FLAG
By Greg D
From Here
May 1, 2012
Out of the blue.  Photo by Mike W. <br />
This is the subtle control that only gets worse.

FLAG
By Jason Todd
From Ranchester, WY
May 1, 2012
Moss
@The Larry +1

Totally unreasonable request.

My wife was super hot, when prior to the wedding I had to cancel our honeymoon because I drew a late season elk tag that would require all three weeks of my vacation at the time. She got over it.
(And yes we are still married, 10 years later.)

FLAG
By Colonel Mustard
From Reno, NV
May 1, 2012
Colonel Mustard
Ben B. wrote:
Does she know she's marrying a climber, and that isn't going to change? You better make damn sure there's no misunderstandings there...


Definitely this ^^^.

FLAG
By matt davies
May 1, 2012
No way. You're never going to be able to get away with potentially stressing her out over hypothetical negatives, so why even attempt it? It's her special day and that means at least 1 more month of ensuring your future master, I mean partner, gets what she deserves. Stay home, call the caterer, play the role, say your lines, use your registry at Furniture Row to get the Cloud Power Recliner (furniturerow.com/SofaMart/The-..., although be sure to check with her on color so it doesn't distract from the floral ottomans her Mom bought for your suburban starter-home), relax, and watch Payton Manning get paid Bahzillions to do what he loves to do while you drown your angst at not being able to do what you love to do in copious amounts of Michelob Ultra ('cause she'll be pissed if you can't fit into your Men's Wearhouse Komfort Khakis to go to her sister's graduation from culinary school).

Just kidding. Go climbing man!

FLAG
 
By Willie Wilson
From America
May 1, 2012
I wonder what she will tell you after your first kid? Every climbing friend of mine who got married became less and less of a climber as time went on. Basically what everyones telling you is your climbing days are limited. Sounds like your not even married yet, and already she's weeding out the climber in you. I'm not saying not to get married but she has to except you for who you are.
+1 to Ben B.

FLAG
By David Meyer
From Out Yonder West
May 1, 2012
Amarillo Sunset 11b Red River Gorge
A whole month? That's asking way too much.

FLAG
By TheBirdman
From Eldorado Springs, Colorado
May 1, 2012
Says the single climbers who all struggle with relationships because climbing takes priority...

FLAG
By Benjamin Chapman
From Small Town, USA
May 1, 2012
old 1/4" bolt.
Hell no! Sack up, stand your ground, and keep climbing!!!

FLAG
By Elena Sera Jose
From colorado
May 1, 2012
bacon
You already know what you are going to do...so if this is for fun make sure she does not see it haha! Picture of your wife-to-be please???????

FLAG
By AnthonyM
May 1, 2012
Maroon Bells-Bell Cord Couloir
Needless to say I drank a little and made her sign something stating this is the only time she is able to ask me not to climb for an agreed amount of time... Any other time is nullified unless she is in the hospital.

No we compromised to two and a half weeks before... She knows who she is marrying... I guess its ok for now-until I start pm-ing/posting people two weeks prior who I don't know to go climb with me for a quick climb or two nearby. If they don't know me they cant tell on me.

On a more serious note; this website keeps me sane.

FLAG
By Elena Sera Jose
From colorado
May 1, 2012
bacon
Anthony Milano wrote:
Needless to say I drank a little and made her sign something stating this is the only time she is able to ask me not to climb for an agreed amount of time... Any other time is nullified unless she is in the hospital. No we compromised to two and a half weeks before... She knows who she is marrying... I guess its ok for now-until I start pm-ing/posting people two weeks prior who I don't know to go climb with me for a quick climb or two nearby. If they don't know me they cant tell on me. On a more serious note; this website keeps me sane.

Glad to hear u guys are compromising

FLAG
By J. Albers
From Colorado
May 1, 2012
Bucky
Ben B. wrote:
Does she know she's marrying a climber, and that isn't going to change? You better make damn sure there's no misunderstandings there...


Ding ding ding.

FLAG
 
By Elena Sera Jose
From colorado
May 1, 2012
bacon
J. Albers wrote:
Ding ding ding.

So he is in love with the chick ....give him a break! They will work it out....he will be climbing while she is getting her hair and nails done eh?

FLAG
By Kent Pease
From Littleton, Colorado
May 1, 2012
Voices of experience:

"Does she know she's marrying a climber, and that isn't going to change? You better make damn sure there's no misunderstandings there..."

"This is the subtle control that only gets worse."

"Sounds like your not even married yet, and already she's weeding out the climber in you. I'm not saying not to get married but she has to except you for who you are."

This is not about the actual wedding.. . . . Let the tug of war begin!

FLAG
By victoria breck
May 1, 2012
ball
Kent Pease wrote:
Voices of experience: "Does she know she's marrying a climber, and that isn't going to change? You better make damn sure there's no misunderstandings there..." "This is the subtle control that only gets worse." "Sounds like your not even married yet, and already she's weeding out the climber in you. I'm not saying not to get married but she has to except you for who you are." This is not about the actual wedding.. . . . Let the tug of war begin!

now change the word "climber" for a word "stripper" ....just saying.

FLAG
By Old and Busted
From Centennial, CO
May 1, 2012
Stabby
Women marry men believing that they can change them.
Men marry women thinking they won't change.
Both are typically disappointed in those regards.

FLAG
By Buff Johnson
May 1, 2012
smiley face
Anthony Milano wrote:
Needless to say I drank a little and made her sign something stating this is the only time she is ....



BWAHAHAHAHA


Just tell her you can't see her until the wedding day; the trad-itionalist approach...It is her day after all

FLAG
By Jeremy Hand
May 1, 2012
slopey
My two cents....

go back to Moab

FLAG
By J. Broussard
From CordryCorner
May 1, 2012
Young Good Free Face, 11b
I'm in the middle of four very large projects around the house.
It was understood when we BEGAN our relationship that (aside from cherishing her) climbing IS my main focus.

That being said, the projects get held off another day when a partner & I get excited about something and they get held off even longer when I want to travel for a long weekend of craging.

It's hard to walk away from the projects (she lives in the mess too), but I'm only going to live once and I MUST have no regrets. The (now) wife completely understands & is very supportive.

The projects can wait when I'm having fun.

Back to to OP question. Let me start with a fun quote:
"Wow, this all really came together" on our wedding night when I had the time of my life. I had no idea what the wedding day would be like because I did ZERO planning or work to pull it together. She thought is was freeking hilarious when I said that 'it all just came together'.

Don't sacrifice your dreams; long story short.

FLAG
By Tombo
From Boulder
May 1, 2012
1/3 of the way up Spire, just above where my piece blew.
You should have her read this thread.

1+ for Delta Bravo's comment.

FLAG
 
By Tony B
From Around Boulder, CO
May 1, 2012
Got Milk? How about forearm pump? Tony leads "Alan Nelson's Bulging Belly" (5.10, X) on the Lost and Found Flatiron. Belayer is Mark Ruocco. Photo by Bill Wright, 10/06.
1) Don't do or be anything now that you are not willing to do or be later.
2) Talk this through and be honest. All relationships have their foundations in communication and trust. Once one of those is gone, the relationship is over.
3) If what we think is more important than how she feels... as in you intend to argue your point with her about this using these results... you've already lost.

FLAG
By Old and Busted
From Centennial, CO
May 1, 2012
Stabby
Another aspect to wedded bliss:
You have several dates through the year where you MUST perform in ever increasing acts of thoughtfulness:
Her B-day
Valentines Day
The anniversary
The holidays

These days are serious traps that can wreck a solid month's worth of climbing time if you fail. They are like the next-level challenges of a video game. They get harder each time. If you go crazy and surprise her with a huge effort for one of these, you have set the bar to which you must at least get back to each time, if not exceed. Just wait until you are 10, 15 years in, coming up with these mandatory homages to her female-ness gets taxing as hell.

FLAG


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