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Since MPers LOVE giving advice about wimminz and climbing!

Original Post
camhead · · Vandalia, Appalachia · Joined Jun 2006 · Points: 1,240

Ok, whiny relationship post. I've got a moral-ethical conundrum with my wife and climbing. But it's not what you would probably think. Here's the deal:

Both of us decided to jump 100% into sport projecting this season, and it's been awesome, both of us making the trip to the same crag, working beta, making progress. We have both gotten our respective prodges down to one hang (I think I'm a bit closer to an rp than she is, though). Unfortunately, since this is in West Virginia, and it's spring, we've gotten hosed by humidity and rain a couple times. The clock is ticking as conditions get bad. To top it all off, I'm leaving in three weeks for a summer job in Utah.

So here's the conundrum: this weekend, the conditions are looking perfect, but my wife can't come along; she's got some work obligations. Do I go climb without her?

If I do, I'll be missing out on hanging out with her for two days, just before us being apart for two months. And if I send my project, she'll be stuck with me spraying about how awesome the conditions were, while all the time she was stuck home, with her own unsent project. That would be kind of dick on my part.

But, if I stay home this weekend, I'll be missing out on a perfect weekend, and be down to only two more chances to redpoint the rig, with the ever-present threat of descending summer, with high temps and humidity.

Oh, and one final thing: my wife is the least passive-aggressive person out there, she has told me straight up that if I want to go, I should. She is not going to guilt me or hold it against me if I go. This is 100% just me wondering how dick it would be if I do.

Boissal . · · Small Lake, UT · Joined Aug 2006 · Points: 1,541
johnL wrote:Dickstab her in the fartbox.
Not meant to last... but funny!
Crag Dweller · · New York, NY · Joined Jul 2006 · Points: 125

If you're wife supports whatever your decision is, it wouldn't be a dick move to climb. But, you can climb while you're in UT. Sounds like you won't be able to spend time with your wife while you're there. And, the project will still be there when you return.

Jan Roestel · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2008 · Points: 52
johnL wrote:Dickstab her in the fartbox.
No John, "Tonguepunch her in ..." then go climbing.
camhead · · Vandalia, Appalachia · Joined Jun 2006 · Points: 1,240
johnL wrote:Dickstab her in the fartbox.
Listen jerk, I don't know where you get your sick sense of humor, but it's not welcome in my thread.
a d · · Los Angeles, CA · Joined Mar 2010 · Points: 5
camhead wrote: Oh, and one final thing: my wife is the least passive-aggressive person out there, she has told me straight up that if I want to go, I should. She is not going to guilt me or hold it against me if I go.
Don't be a sucker. You know the above can't be true!
CJ Coccia · · Denver, CO · Joined Apr 2010 · Points: 35

I will pipe in with complete in utter honesty. I would probably just hang with the lady for the weekend. Climbing is incredible and we all know the issues with no sleep and undone projects.. but it would be a bummer to be apart for so long... and only making it longer by going. Also, if it were me.. I would probably end up guilt tripping myself even without her help.

However, if you can manage to feel fine with the decision to climb (I apologize how snide this sounds... that is completely not intended) I would go for it. Wish I had the ability to turn my brain off from decisions and hit the rock every once in a while!

Either way, you have a wife who sounds fun and a project that is also awesome... win/win it sounds!

Benjamin F · · Crescent City, CA · Joined Apr 2011 · Points: 1,000
camhead wrote: Listen jerk, I don't know where you get your sick sense of humor, but it's not welcome in my thread.
sounds more like he touched on a sensitive issue. perhaps its you who is unwelcome in....?
CJ Coccia · · Denver, CO · Joined Apr 2010 · Points: 35
alexdavis wrote: Don't be a sucker. You know the above can't be true!
"Whatever you want to do" is the worst set of words to ever hear.
J. Albers · · Colorado · Joined Jul 2008 · Points: 1,926
johnL wrote:Dickstab her in the fartbox.
Oh come on folks, lighten up. I don't always agree with what john has to say, but THAT sh*t was funny.

...carry on.
a d · · Los Angeles, CA · Joined Mar 2010 · Points: 5
CJ Coccia wrote: "Whatever you want to do" is the worst set of words to ever hear.
My experience has been that doing what I really want to do when she says "do whatever you want" almost aways turns out bad.
Monomaniac · · Morrison, CO · Joined Oct 2006 · Points: 17,295

I'm quite shocked and more than a little dismayed that this hasn't been mentioned yet, but...you're gonna need to post some pics for us to provide a proper recommendation. Multiple angles and lightning, some "nude", and some with drasws fixed.

We already have pics of your wife so don't worry about that.

CJ Coccia · · Denver, CO · Joined Apr 2010 · Points: 35
Monomaniac wrote:I'm quite shocked and more than a little dismayed that this hasn't been mentioned yet, but...you're gonna need to post some pics for us to provide a proper recommendation. Multiple angles and lightning, some "nude", and some with drasws fixed. We already have pics of your wife so don't worry about that.
excellent.
Ben W. · · Scotts Valley, CA · Joined Jan 2012 · Points: 30

Dude, hang out with your awesome wife! Life is short...climbing will always be there, you or your wife won't.

camhead · · Vandalia, Appalachia · Joined Jun 2006 · Points: 1,240
Monomaniac wrote:I'm quite shocked and more than a little dismayed that this hasn't been mentioned yet, but...you're gonna need to post some pics for us to provide a proper recommendation. Multiple angles and lightning, some "nude", and some with drasws fixed. We already have pics of your wife so don't worry about that.
Pics of the routes? I don't have any, but here's the only one on mp:

rogerbenton · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Sep 2011 · Points: 210

clearly you don't have kids, if you did this would be a non-issue and you'd be staying home to give her flowers and stuff.

my honest opinion is that you have an awesome arrangement and an awesome wife and you should consider yourself lucky. spend the weekend with her and every time your mind starts to drift towards the unfinished rig just take a step back and realize that 95% of married climbers wish their wives were as down with the program as yours.

last thing in the world you want is for her deep down inner female consciousness to assume that climbing (or anything) comes before her on your list of priorities. it is definitely all downhill from there.

no matter what she says, she would rather you hang with her than go.

all this from a guy who couldn't pay his wife to go climbing with him- take it with a grain of salt.

Anonymous · · Unknown Hometown · Joined unknown · Points: 0
camhead wrote: Pics of the routes? I don't have any, but here's the only one on mp:
Not really on topic but that belayer looks like he wants to be anywhere but there...
clausti · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2007 · Points: 5
Monomaniac wrote:I'm quite shocked and more than a little dismayed that this hasn't been mentioned yet, but...you're gonna need to post some pics for us to provide a proper recommendation. Multiple angles and lightning, some "nude", and some with drasws fixed. We already have pics of your wife so don't worry about that.
pshhh, you've already got pics of my proj, mono.



he doesn't pose naked though, he's got this sexy blue-steel thing going on.
Nick Barczak · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2008 · Points: 75

Why not split the difference? Not sure how far the drive is, but just drive down the evening before. Get up early, warm up. Attack the route. Then drive home that evening and chill with the wife.

David N · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2012 · Points: 0

This is getting a bit reality TV isn't it? Husband posts question, wife responds in thread but doesn't refer to question. Next on Big Brother: Viewers are asked to advise Camhead whether he should get up for a beer or stay on the couch.

I'm pretty sure you posted this to get support so you can feel justified doing what you want to do. Otherwise, I can't see a reason to ask an online community a personal question like this. Here's hoping you get your 51% (or more) support so that you can send it.

Actually, it would suck a bit to get out there and siege it all weekend and still not send eh?

Elena Sera Jose · · colorado · Joined Mar 2012 · Points: 350

Go climb but do something super nice for her in the next couple of days. She will like to see you happy yet doing something for her does not make her feel left out on fun. Just my 2¢

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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