Ok, whiny relationship post. I've got a moral-ethical conundrum with my wife and climbing. But it's not what you would probably think. Here's the deal:

Both of us decided to jump 100% into sport projecting this season, and it's been awesome, both of us making the trip to the same crag, working beta, making progress. We have both gotten our respective prodges down to one hang (I think I'm a bit closer to an rp than she is, though). Unfortunately, since this is in West Virginia, and it's spring, we've gotten hosed by humidity and rain a couple times. The clock is ticking as conditions get bad. To top it all off, I'm leaving in three weeks for a summer job in Utah.

So here's the conundrum: this weekend, the conditions are looking perfect, but my wife can't come along; she's got some work obligations. Do I go climb without her?

If I do, I'll be missing out on hanging out with her for two days, just before us being apart for two months. And if I send my project, she'll be stuck with me spraying about how awesome the conditions were, while all the time she was stuck home, with her own unsent project. That would be kind of dick on my part.

But, if I stay home this weekend, I'll be missing out on a perfect weekend, and be down to only two more chances to redpoint the rig, with the ever-present threat of descending summer, with high temps and humidity.

Oh, and one final thing: my wife is the least passive-aggressive person out there, she has told me straight up that if I want to go, I should. She is not going to guilt me or hold it against me if I go. This is 100% just me wondering how dick it would be if I do.

Just Go! Sounds like she supports it. Good luck on sendin the rig!

If you're wife supports whatever your decision is, it wouldn't be a dick move to climb. But, you can climb while you're in UT. Sounds like you won't be able to spend time with your wife while you're there. And, the project will still be there when you return.

I will pipe in with complete in utter honesty. I would probably just hang with the lady for the weekend. Climbing is incredible and we all know the issues with no sleep and undone projects.. but it would be a bummer to be apart for so long... and only making it longer by going. Also, if it were me.. I would probably end up guilt tripping myself even without her help.

However, if you can manage to feel fine with the decision to climb (I apologize how snide this sounds... that is completely not intended) I would go for it. Wish I had the ability to turn my brain off from decisions and hit the rock every once in a while!

Either way, you have a wife who sounds fun and a project that is also awesome... win/win it sounds!

I'm quite shocked and more than a little dismayed that this hasn't been mentioned yet, but...you're gonna need to post some pics for us to provide a proper recommendation. Multiple angles and lightning, some "nude", and some with drasws fixed.

We already have pics of your wife so don't worry about that.

Dude, hang out with your awesome wife! Life is short...climbing will always be there, you or your wife won't.

clearly you don't have kids, if you did this would be a non-issue and you'd be staying home to give her flowers and stuff.

my honest opinion is that you have an awesome arrangement and an awesome wife and you should consider yourself lucky. spend the weekend with her and every time your mind starts to drift towards the unfinished rig just take a step back and realize that 95% of married climbers wish their wives were as down with the program as yours.

last thing in the world you want is for her deep down inner female consciousness to assume that climbing (or anything) comes before her on your list of priorities. it is definitely all downhill from there.

no matter what she says, she would rather you hang with her than go.



all this from a guy who couldn't pay his wife to go climbing with him- take it with a grain of salt.

Why not split the difference? Not sure how far the drive is, but just drive down the evening before. Get up early, warm up. Attack the route. Then drive home that evening and chill with the wife.

This is getting a bit reality TV isn't it? Husband posts question, wife responds in thread but doesn't refer to question. Next on Big Brother: Viewers are asked to advise Camhead whether he should get up for a beer or stay on the couch.

I'm pretty sure you posted this to get support so you can feel justified doing what you want to do. Otherwise, I can't see a reason to ask an online community a personal question like this. Here's hoping you get your 51% (or more) support so that you can send it.

Actually, it would suck a bit to get out there and siege it all weekend and still not send eh?

Go climb but do something super nice for her in the next couple of days. She will like to see you happy yet doing something for her does not make her feel left out on fun. Just my 2¢

Tell her you're leaving for the whole weekend, leave butt-early and project all day (how long is the drive?). If you don't send day one, wake up butt-early the next day and do a few tries (extra pressure to succeed too), but leave early to surprise her when you come home early.

Done and done.

Hey bra, she's the one with the obligation not you. I would go climbing, not into sport climbing personally and nothing agaist it either. If she gets her panties in a bunch, tell her what's up and don't back down. Your the one with the kick-ass job and prolly gonna do the summer gig SOLO if she starts actin' up.

Mitchy the love machine.