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May 8, 2012
You stay away from mah pig!
Ok, whiny relationship post. I've got a moral-ethical conundrum with my wife and climbing. But it's not what you would probably think. Here's the deal:

Both of us decided to jump 100% into sport projecting this season, and it's been awesome, both of us making the trip to the same crag, working beta, making progress. We have both gotten our respective prodges down to one hang (I think I'm a bit closer to an rp than she is, though). Unfortunately, since this is in West Virginia, and it's spring, we've gotten hosed by humidity and rain a couple times. The clock is ticking as conditions get bad. To top it all off, I'm leaving in three weeks for a summer job in Utah.

So here's the conundrum: this weekend, the conditions are looking perfect, but my wife can't come along; she's got some work obligations. Do I go climb without her?

If I do, I'll be missing out on hanging out with her for two days, just before us being apart for two months. And if I send my project, she'll be stuck with me spraying about how awesome the conditions were, while all the time she was stuck home, with her own unsent project. That would be kind of dick on my part.

But, if I stay home this weekend, I'll be missing out on a perfect weekend, and be down to only two more chances to redpoint the rig, with the ever-present threat of descending summer, with high temps and humidity.

Oh, and one final thing: my wife is the least passive-aggressive person out there, she has told me straight up that if I want to go, I should. She is not going to guilt me or hold it against me if I go. This is 100% just me wondering how dick it would be if I do.
camhead
From Vandalia, Appalachia
Joined Jun 27, 2006
1,369 points
May 8, 2012
 Morning Dew ,self portrait
Just Go! Sounds like she supports it. Good luck on sendin the rig! s.price
From PS,CO
Joined Dec 1, 2010
1,366 points
May 8, 2012
johnL wrote:
Dickstab her in the fartbox.

Not meant to last... but funny!
Boissal
From Small Lake, UT
Joined Aug 21, 2006
1,736 points
May 8, 2012
My navigator keeps me from getting lost
If you're wife supports whatever your decision is, it wouldn't be a dick move to climb. But, you can climb while you're in UT. Sounds like you won't be able to spend time with your wife while you're there. And, the project will still be there when you return. Crag Dweller
From New York, NY
Joined Jul 17, 2006
274 points
May 8, 2012
johnL wrote:
Dickstab her in the fartbox.

No John, "Tonguepunch her in ..." then go climbing.
Jan Roestel
Joined May 1, 2008
49 points
May 8, 2012
You stay away from mah pig!
johnL wrote:
Dickstab her in the fartbox.


Listen jerk, I don't know where you get your sick sense of humor, but it's not welcome in my thread.
camhead
From Vandalia, Appalachia
Joined Jun 27, 2006
1,369 points
May 8, 2012
alaska
camhead wrote:
Oh, and one final thing: my wife is the least passive-aggressive person out there, she has told me straight up that if I want to go, I should. She is not going to guilt me or hold it against me if I go.


Don't be a sucker. You know the above can't be true!
agd
Joined Mar 31, 2010
30 points
May 8, 2012
Acid Test at Paynes Ford
I will pipe in with complete in utter honesty. I would probably just hang with the lady for the weekend. Climbing is incredible and we all know the issues with no sleep and undone projects.. but it would be a bummer to be apart for so long... and only making it longer by going. Also, if it were me.. I would probably end up guilt tripping myself even without her help.

However, if you can manage to feel fine with the decision to climb (I apologize how snide this sounds... that is completely not intended) I would go for it. Wish I had the ability to turn my brain off from decisions and hit the rock every once in a while!

Either way, you have a wife who sounds fun and a project that is also awesome... win/win it sounds!
CJ Coccia
From Denver, CO
Joined Apr 29, 2010
83 points
May 8, 2012
Witches Gathering
camhead wrote:
Listen jerk, I don't know where you get your sick sense of humor, but it's not welcome in my thread.


sounds more like he touched on a sensitive issue. perhaps its you who is unwelcome in....?
Benjamin F
From Arcata, CA
Joined Apr 22, 2011
833 points
May 8, 2012
Acid Test at Paynes Ford
alexdavis wrote:
Don't be a sucker. You know the above can't be true!


"Whatever you want to do" is the worst set of words to ever hear.
CJ Coccia
From Denver, CO
Joined Apr 29, 2010
83 points
May 8, 2012
Bucky
johnL wrote:
Dickstab her in the fartbox.


Oh come on folks, lighten up. I don't always agree with what john has to say, but THAT sh*t was funny.

...carry on.
J. Albers
From Colorado
Joined Jul 11, 2008
2,225 points
May 8, 2012
alaska
CJ Coccia wrote:
"Whatever you want to do" is the worst set of words to ever hear.


My experience has been that doing what I really want to do when she says "do whatever you want" almost aways turns out bad.
agd
Joined Mar 31, 2010
30 points
Administrator
May 8, 2012
Insurrection, 5.14c.  Photo Adam Sanders.
I'm quite shocked and more than a little dismayed that this hasn't been mentioned yet, but...you're gonna need to post some pics for us to provide a proper recommendation. Multiple angles and lightning, some "nude", and some with drasws fixed.

We already have pics of your wife so don't worry about that.
Monomaniac
From Morrison, CO
Joined Oct 26, 2006
17,258 points
May 8, 2012
Acid Test at Paynes Ford
Monomaniac wrote:
I'm quite shocked and more than a little dismayed that this hasn't been mentioned yet, but...you're gonna need to post some pics for us to provide a proper recommendation. Multiple angles and lightning, some "nude", and some with drasws fixed. We already have pics of your wife so don't worry about that.


excellent.
CJ Coccia
From Denver, CO
Joined Apr 29, 2010
83 points
May 8, 2012
Dude, hang out with your awesome wife! Life is short...climbing will always be there, you or your wife won't. Ben W.
From Scotts Valley, CA
Joined Jan 3, 2012
2 points
May 8, 2012
You stay away from mah pig!
Monomaniac wrote:
I'm quite shocked and more than a little dismayed that this hasn't been mentioned yet, but...you're gonna need to post some pics for us to provide a proper recommendation. Multiple angles and lightning, some "nude", and some with drasws fixed. We already have pics of your wife so don't worry about that.


Pics of the routes? I don't have any, but here's the only one on mp:

camhead
From Vandalia, Appalachia
Joined Jun 27, 2006
1,369 points
May 8, 2012
Whoever this guy is, he's just plain irresponsible...
clearly you don't have kids, if you did this would be a non-issue and you'd be staying home to give her flowers and stuff.

my honest opinion is that you have an awesome arrangement and an awesome wife and you should consider yourself lucky. spend the weekend with her and every time your mind starts to drift towards the unfinished rig just take a step back and realize that 95% of married climbers wish their wives were as down with the program as yours.

last thing in the world you want is for her deep down inner female consciousness to assume that climbing (or anything) comes before her on your list of priorities. it is definitely all downhill from there.

no matter what she says, she would rather you hang with her than go.



all this from a guy who couldn't pay his wife to go climbing with him- take it with a grain of salt.
rogerbenton
Joined Sep 5, 2011
262 points
camhead wrote:
Pics of the routes? I don't have any, but here's the only one on mp:



Not really on topic but that belayer looks like he wants to be anywhere but there...
May 8, 2012
Monomaniac wrote:
I'm quite shocked and more than a little dismayed that this hasn't been mentioned yet, but...you're gonna need to post some pics for us to provide a proper recommendation. Multiple angles and lightning, some "nude", and some with drasws fixed. We already have pics of your wife so don't worry about that.



pshhh, you've already got pics of my proj, mono.



he doesn't pose naked though, he's got this sexy blue-steel thing going on.
clausti
Joined Dec 9, 2007
8 points
May 8, 2012
...
Why not split the difference? Not sure how far the drive is, but just drive down the evening before. Get up early, warm up. Attack the route. Then drive home that evening and chill with the wife. Nick Barczak
Joined Oct 9, 2008
113 points
May 8, 2012
This is getting a bit reality TV isn't it? Husband posts question, wife responds in thread but doesn't refer to question. Next on Big Brother: Viewers are asked to advise Camhead whether he should get up for a beer or stay on the couch.

I'm pretty sure you posted this to get support so you can feel justified doing what you want to do. Otherwise, I can't see a reason to ask an online community a personal question like this. Here's hoping you get your 51% (or more) support so that you can send it.

Actually, it would suck a bit to get out there and siege it all weekend and still not send eh?
David N
Joined Mar 7, 2012
0 points
May 8, 2012
bacon
Go climb but do something super nice for her in the next couple of days. She will like to see you happy yet doing something for her does not make her feel left out on fun. Just my 2 Elena Sera Jose
From colorado
Joined Mar 11, 2012
355 points
May 8, 2012
In the sea of Cortez - Baja California, Mexico
Tell her you're leaving for the whole weekend, leave butt-early and project all day (how long is the drive?). If you don't send day one, wake up butt-early the next day and do a few tries (extra pressure to succeed too), but leave early to surprise her when you come home early.

Done and done.
AJS
From Boulder, CO
Joined Mar 4, 2008
33 points
May 8, 2012
Hey bra, she's the one with the obligation not you. I would go climbing, not into sport climbing personally and nothing agaist it either. If she gets her panties in a bunch, tell her what's up and don't back down. Your the one with the kick-ass job and prolly gonna do the summer gig SOLO if she starts actin' up. mitchy
From nunya gotdamn business.
Joined Aug 29, 2009
16 points
May 8, 2012
Mitchy the love machine. mattski
Joined May 3, 2012
0 points
May 8, 2012
Fatted Calf, 11b, Indian Creek
mitchy wrote:
Hey bra, she's the one with the obligation not you. I would go climbing, not into sport climbing personally and nothing agaist it either. If she gets her panties in a bunch, tell her what's up and don't back down. Your the one with the kick-ass job and prolly gonna do the summer gig SOLO if she starts actin' up.



This should do the trick.
David Meyer
From Out Yonder West
Joined Jun 16, 2011
84 points


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