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Cirque of the Uncrackables
Routes Sorted
L to R R to L Alpha
Boogie 'til you Puke T 
Bop 'til You Drop T 
Cobra Crack T 
Ivan Meets GI Joe T 
March Of The Kitchen Utensils T 
Scimitar, The T 

March Of The Kitchen Utensils 

YDS: 5.9 French: 5c Ewbanks: 17 UIAA: VI ZA: 17 British: HVS 5a

Type:  Trad, 1 pitch, 110'
Consensus:  YDS: 5.9 French: 5c Ewbanks: 17 UIAA: VI ZA: 17 British: HVS 5a [details]
FA: John Howe, Joe Buszowski, Blake Robinson 1981
Page Views: 971
Submitted By: Mike Teschke on May 24, 2012

You & This Route  |  Other Opinions (9)
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Nice long offwidth crack. Layback or offwidth-jam your heart out! It was a little dirty on the slab at the top. Bring a #5 or two.


Big cams. a few smaller ones for the bottom. A couple good bolts for the anchor, but the slings weren't so great.

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By Mark Roberts
From: Vancouver, BC
Aug 10, 2014

Holy cow. Hardest 5.9 in Squamish? Felt much harder than Ivan Meets GI Joe. Absolutely beautiful feature, quite unique. Get on it.

There are two 3/8" bolts for the anchor. If you're heading up, be an awesome person and take two quicklinks to leave on them for people to rap from as right now there's just a bunch of tat. You can also rap from the tree five feet past the anchor with a 70m, but be careful as 70m is just barely enough.
By Mark van Eijk
Apr 23, 2015

Long and wide, but the difficulties are short. Starts as for Ivan meets G.I. Joe but immediately busts right. The wide section runs from BD #4 to #5, bring a couple of each, a #6 will fit higher up (after the angle kicks back considerably) if you feel the need.

I don't know that there's any real advantage to climbing this route "straight-in" other than for the experience. Both sides of the crack are very featured with good rests from which to place, and it submits nicely to laybacking and/or stemming (sacrilege! I know...)
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