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Cirque of the Uncrackables
Routes Sorted
L to R R to L Alpha
Boogie 'til you Puke T 
Bop 'til You Drop T 
Cobra Crack T 
Ivan Meets GI Joe T 
March Of The Kitchen Utensils T 
Scimitar, The T 

March Of The Kitchen Utensils 

YDS: 5.9 French: 5c Ewbanks: 17 UIAA: VI ZA: 17 British: HVS 5a

Type:  Trad, 1 pitch, 110'
Consensus:  YDS: 5.9 French: 5c Ewbanks: 17 UIAA: VI ZA: 17 British: HVS 5a [details]
FA: John Howe, Joe Buszowski, Blake Robinson 1981
Page Views: 760
Submitted By: Mike Teschke on May 24, 2012

You & This Route  |  Other Opinions (4)
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Nice long offwidth crack. Layback or offwidth-jam your heart out! It was a little dirty on the slab at the top. Bring a #5 or two.


Big cams. a few smaller ones for the bottom. A couple good bolts for the anchor, but the slings weren't so great.

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By Mark Roberts
From: Vancouver, BC
Aug 10, 2014

Holy cow. Hardest 5.9 in Squamish? Felt much harder than Ivan Meets GI Joe. Absolutely beautiful feature, quite unique. Get on it.

There are two 3/8" bolts for the anchor. If you're heading up, be an awesome person and take two quicklinks to leave on them for people to rap from as right now there's just a bunch of tat. You can also rap from the tree five feet past the anchor with a 70m, but be careful as 70m is just barely enough.
By Mark van Eijk
3 days ago

Long and wide, but the difficulties are short. Starts as for Ivan meets G.I. Joe but immediately busts right. The wide section runs from BD #4 to #5, bring a couple of each, a #6 will fit higher up (after the angle kicks back considerably) if you feel the need.

I don't know that there's any real advantage to climbing this route "straight-in" other than for the experience. Both sides of the crack are very featured with good rests from which to place, and it submits nicely to laybacking and/or stemming (sacrilege! I know...)
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