Magical pro, a hypothetical

I'm bored and inside, so here's a hypothetical.

Today, evil geniuses from BlackPetzTotemTolius have revealed their top-secret next new gear: the all-rock pro. It's simply a device that magically sticks to all rock. It's as small and light as a medium sized nut, extremely high strength, virtually foolproof, and cleans instantly and easily with no trace. As long as the rock stays in place, it sticks. Better yet, some rich person somewhere is subsidizing them, and as a result they cost $20 a piece to the consumer.

All rock pro (bolts, nuts, cams, pitons, whatever) has instantly become obsolete.

What happens now? How do the different sub-categories (trad, sport, aid, TR, etc.) change? Does this make climbing less fun, particularly trad and aid? Do bolts get chopped? What about access? Go!

how do they do in icy conditions? or watery conditions?

That's stupid. Just invent the rocket boots that they have in Star Trek IV. Then when you fall off you can just fire the rockets and lower down to the valley floor.

I'll take my REI refund and buy me a set.

You are contradicting yourself - if it's so foolproof and universal as you say, the device could be sold at a premium price, as you'd only need 1 piece (2 at most) - if it fits anywhere, I could just bump, right? There'll be no free-climbing as we know it - only top-roping and free-soloing. Oh wait, in some old-schoolers' minds that device already exists - SLCDs on perfect splitters. I know someone who thinks having a piece even at your waist is top-roping - it's not climbing (as in free climbing) unless you're running it out at least 30ft...

ClimbTech

doligo wrote:Oh wait, in some old-schoolers' minds that device already exists - SLCDs on perfect splitters. I know someone who thinks having a piece even at your waist is top-roping - it's not climbing (as in free climbing) unless you're running it out at least 30ft...

Ken Nichols would figure out a way to chop 'em...

doligo wrote:You are contradicting yourself - if it's so foolproof and universal as you say, the device could be sold at a premium price, as you'd only need 1 piece (2 at most) - if it fits anywhere, I could just bump, right?

If they aren't patented I would copy them and have them built in China for half the price. If they are patented I would copy them and have them built in China for half the price.

There would be a 6-hour traffic jam to get to the Gunks, Eldo would look like that scene from world war Z (zombies climbing over buses that are falling down and s***'s going crazy), and RMNP would be packed with city slickers yelling "TAKE SLACK!" and "HEY GARY!!! HEY! GARY!!! AM I ON BELAY?!! NO, NOT OFF BELAY, AM I ON BEL..."

And I would quit.

While we are on the subject, anybody got the phone number for rock and resole?

The Simpsons already did it: