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Sep 4, 2013
Upper pitches on Crescent Tower, Bugaboos.
I with you now. I learn so much shit on MP. I just added stfu nOOb to my todo list. Hopefully I'll be strong enough to send! There is a joke for you; I'll never send that puppy! Jonathan Dull
From Boone, NC
Joined Mar 2, 2012
429 points
Sep 4, 2013
Goofin on the Frogs Head Arch before I rap off.
bruce Mcintosh wrote:
what is chris sharma's favorite car? Passsatt


Actual LOL at this one.
Boots Ylectric
From Roselle IL
Joined Apr 11, 2012
155 points
Sep 4, 2013
...
"I just added stfu nOOb to my todo list"

When at JTree, it's a MUST do!

After you do that one, head over to "Nicole Kidman".

mountainproject.com/v/nicole-k...




LMAO!

Simply HAS TO BE the lamest route...EVER!

But it was so fucking much FUN!
Locker
From Yucca Valley, CA
Joined Oct 13, 2002
2,394 points
Nov 13, 2013
Ryan on the Sharks Fin wishing he was on Mt. White...
What do a haul bag and a vacuum cleaner have in common?

They're both connected to a dirtbag!
Ryan Kempf
From Boulder, CO
Joined Jul 26, 2011
348 points
Nov 13, 2013
Ryan on the Sharks Fin wishing he was on Mt. White...
Rock climbing is like getting a BJ from an ugly chick - never look down.
Ryan Kempf
From Boulder, CO
Joined Jul 26, 2011
348 points
Nov 13, 2013
Amarillo Sunset
Ryan Kempf wrote:
Rock climbing is like getting a BJ from an ugly chick - never look down.


Great, now I have coffee on my keyboard.
David Peterson
Joined Sep 26, 2012
116 points
Nov 15, 2013
Top
An old one... Whats the difference between a Climber and a Mutual Fund... A Mutual Fund eventually matures and makes money Mackay Crabbe
From Moab, Ut
Joined Nov 14, 2013
6 points
Nov 15, 2013
Mackay Crabbe wrote:
An old one... Whats the difference between a Climber and a Mutual Fund... A Mutual Fund eventually matures and makes money

That's supposed to be a bond. Or a CD. Mutual funds don't mature. :)
michaelp
Joined Apr 28, 2013
70 points
Nov 15, 2013
Greg Berry wrote:
What's the hardest part about hating sport climbing? Telling your friends you're gay.



I think there was a typo here, the hating was supposed to be omitted
The Flying Dutchman
Joined Oct 13, 2011
5 points
Nov 15, 2013
nicelegs wrote:
I have a pretty funny joke. There was this trad guy who hated sport. He travelled to Kentucky and quickly sent WTOK, and managed to hang on every sport route there harder than mid 11. A week before that trip, the same trad climber failed to send Moonlight Buttress because of the pumpy sections, not the crack. Fast forward a few years, the trad climber was living somewhere with sport and was active in developing hard new routes there. Once he left that place he quickly put away all of his old unfinished trad projects. He also found himself with the movement skills to succeed on traditional climbs and R rated routes with far more confidence than he'd ever had before. The punchline isn't sport vs trad. It's pushing yourself vs not.




Sport is a purely physical effort, pushing your body to its physical level. Sport allows you to safely climb at and above your limit

Trad is more of a mental undertaking. Climbing huge run outs near your limit solely on tcus is an experience you will never enjoy on a sport route. Trad also allows you to climb in areas which are not bolted


For the sake of the argument. Sport climbers are whiney little number chasing vegans who train in the gym and complain non stop about their lack of skin and pulled finger pullies, while trad climbers are seeking out the long gnarly routes which provide the best overall experience. They eat canned food cold and lug up a six pack of beer while climbing a multi pitch. As far as boulderers go, IDK WTF the point of this is all about, but, maybe that's because I don't listen to techno music nor sleep with me precious La Sportive Solutions tucked safely under my pillow at night
The Flying Dutchman
Joined Oct 13, 2011
5 points
Nov 15, 2013
Locker wrote:
I see a BINGO above! Now let's you and I head out sometime SOON and ridicule some "TRAD" climbers getting spanked on BOLTED routes. LOL!



Any trad climber can climb at his trad lead level on any bolted rout. Take a sport climber, put him at his limit on a trad climb, and you are guaranteed to see him freeze up and shit his pants.


Grade for grade, trad packs a bigger punch.
The Flying Dutchman
Joined Oct 13, 2011
5 points
Nov 15, 2013
Upper pitches on Crescent Tower, Bugaboos.
bouldering.... Jonathan Dull
From Boone, NC
Joined Mar 2, 2012
429 points
Nov 15, 2013
Chips and Salsa
Jonathan Dull wrote:
bouldering....


This ^
Tom Lausch
From Madison WI
Joined Apr 10, 2012
215 points
Nov 15, 2013
Whats the difference between a Swiss mountain guide and god?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.God doesn't think he's a Swiss mountain guide...
KeithS
Joined Oct 19, 2010
248 points
Nov 15, 2013
Picacho
What is the difference between a sport climber and a skunk?
You have to provoke the skunk to spray.
saguaro sandy
Joined Oct 12, 2013
140 points
Nov 15, 2013
Picacho
What is the difference between an ugly chick and an old climber?
Ugly chick don't need a ride.
saguaro sandy
Joined Oct 12, 2013
140 points
Nov 15, 2013
Picacho
What is a difference between Miley and a chick climber?
Chick climber don't even have to look good.
saguaro sandy
Joined Oct 12, 2013
140 points
Nov 15, 2013
Picacho
How can you tell an old climbing chick and an old climbing dude apart?
The chick is the rope gun.
saguaro sandy
Joined Oct 12, 2013
140 points
Administrator
Nov 16, 2013
Me and the offspring walking back to the car after...
Try putting all of them in one post next time. Separating them doesn't make them any funnier, or any less obvious that you get your climbing humor from Google. Jake Jones
From Richmond, VA
Joined Jul 30, 2011
1,147 points
Nov 16, 2013
Picacho
Nope. All of them are my own improv. saguaro sandy
Joined Oct 12, 2013
140 points
Nov 16, 2013
What happens when Adam Ondra pinches limestome?
...
He gets lime juice!
Andrew Schmalzer
Joined May 14, 2011
1 points
Nov 16, 2013
0
This post violated Rule #1. It has been removed by Mountain Project.
iceman777
From Colorado Springs
Joined Oct 19, 2007
65 points
Nov 16, 2013
yaak crack Red Rock Canyon, NV
What happens when Adam Ondra pinches limestone?
...
Everyone around him goes deaf.

FTFY
Jon Zucco
From Denver, CO
Joined Aug 15, 2008
357 points
Nov 16, 2013
Picacho
How do you know it's ice climbing season in Canada?
All the local fast food places are out of jellies.
saguaro sandy
Joined Oct 12, 2013
140 points
Nov 16, 2013
What does Vivica Jones and a bad rash have in common? They're BOTH annoying as hell. mitchy
From nunya gotdamn business.
Joined Aug 29, 2009
16 points


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