Give Us Something To Read!

Welp.... Here we are again. Cruising the forum trying to find ANYTHING to kill the time. Anything we can contribute to or reflect on. Something to learn or teach, somewhere to LOL or ROTF. . . and there just isn't anything. We checked RC.com and there aint shit over there, as usual soooo... Let's hear those scares of a lifetime (so-far ;) ).

BUT! I know, i know, we've seen this thread 1000 times. Right. But let's see some other stories that aren't just about climbing. Climbing stories are of course welcomed but let's see some stories about: Snow, Surf, Skate, Ski, Bmx, Mountain Biking, Motocross, Dirt Biking, Quads, Drag Racing, Drifting, Scuba Diving, Sky Diving, Hunting, Horseback or Bulls. Did anyone ever get lost somewhere crazy? Nearly eaten alive? Anyone get stuck in a machine or trapped in a cave? Hell, anyone stepped on an urchin or lost their flip flop? Give us something entertaining to read! We got too much time! Let's kill it!

I got one to start....

6 months ago I met this new dive partner in a scuba rescue class i took here locally (ironic kinda). We decided to go out for a night dive.

We go out. Its pitch black this day, especially floating around at 80' deep. After a while i tap him and tell him to turn. We agreed on the surface we'd turn around at 1200 (a decent amount of air to safely return with even some extra). He looks at me funny and i throw up the T with both my hands again. (I keep a light on my forearm that lights up my hands in the dark). He nods with acknowledement and continues what he was doing. . . hm. He must have a plan or is gonna wait a bit longer. I follow...
At 1000 air left i grab him and flash to 5's in his face. He nods again, this time a bit more frustrated. He then turns back east and heads toward the shore. Sweet.
...wait a minute. Where's my gopro? Awe shit it was right here. The lines gone! I spin around looking all around the floor; its nowhere! After 20 seconds I look up and he's disappearing into the black. I got his attention with my light and he turned back towards me. He asks me what's wrong and i pointed to his gopro. He knew right away and began to dive deeper to look. At 80' with 1000 air i dont have time to be going deeper. I grabbed his BC (life jacket if you will) and pull him back up telling him forget it. He takes lead east again and i follow. Incredibally bummed.
At about 50' I was clawing through the sand when my gopro and its line floated in front of my mask. WTF!? I motion for Bob and he and i laughed about it.
Just then a seal swoops in front of our light and snacks on a fish. Scares the shit out of you at first because you just see this huge black creature haulin ass towards you in the dark. We watched for a moment and then i shined my light back on my wrist computer, 500! We need to ascend now! I tell my partner i got 500 left and he gets pissed! I'm like wtf? ive been telling you every 250 f***** pounds. We agree to rise to 30' and level off. I went up and looked downto see him still cruisin east on the sand. My thinking is well i got 500 air if i run out ill have to surface if he's not with me. I cruise back down again panicing because in the dark i cant see my air unless i stop and take the time to shine my light on my watch. Im not gonna do that ill waste more air! I grab him and tell him to go up, He doesn't want to. I pull him, he pulls me. I pull him, he pulls me. Finally after fighting with him he just throws me and im like wtf? Then he gets small, fast. Literally a second later i feel my feet kicking out of the water.

(A note: Ascents like the one i just made you can give you the bends. Basically, too much nitrogen absorbed in the body and when not properly decompressed causes nitrogen bubbles in your blood that can kill you. Picture shaking a soda and taking the cap off. The fizz. )

i flip around facing west. In an instant i realized that while fighting with him i must have been breathing heavily which caused me to float, then the air expanded in my bc due to less pressure and i began to ascend rapidly. Of course, being night with 10 ft viz, i didn't see any of it happening.
So, there i was, staring at the endless blue, the moon, and the stars, alone, thinking am i going to fuckin die?
I turn around and see that the shore is probably 600' away. If i do have the bends, i'm not gonna make it.
I relaxed myself and as calmly as i could swam for the shore. I thought at any second (after his safety stop) that my partner would join me. He never did. He had a huge tank. So, i just watched his little light buzzing below me at around 30', and kept swimming.

Long story short(er) i didn't have the bends (although i did get a pretty bad headache once i was home. ???), and when i discussed what happened with my partner he told me that my light on my forearm blocked everything i was showing him. He never knew how much air i had until i told him 500. He took no blame but i still feel it was partly both our fault.

That's one story. Let's keep this going.

@Johnny
It would be moment like those that i would hope i just finished a season of Bear Grylls. Glad you guys made it out. And yes, the meal after a near death is always the best meal, and the sunset too is always the best.

I think its funny how when were in moments like those we think oh my God this sucks but after a few weeks we look back and see it as an adventure. Although we don't wish it upon us again, we urge for that same rush somewhere and another amazing story to tell again. A man vs nature. Legendary stories. Such, i feel, may be the reason we climb. Freedom, adventure, adreniline, and victory. . .

Good story!

@johnny - Pure awesomeness.

There are 30 pack of coors hunters sighting from the road and there are hunters. You seem like the second kind. Hell of a story :) My last elk should have been all turned to ground meat, glad yours is tasty.