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Ethics of Manufacturing a Route
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Feb 8, 2013
St George
In a canyon there is an overhanging pristine slab that is hidden from view of all climbers, hikers, and it's not even visible on Google Earth. It is not near any trails nor any climbing areas. Trees also obstruct its view from everything and everyone.

Like I said earlier this slab is very overhung and has no holds on it. It will never be climbed. It's impossible.

This would be a perfect face for a finger crack.

Materials Needed:

- Concrete saw with a generater
- Pre-euthanized dogs from an animal shelter to haul up the saw and the generator
- An axe to cut down the trees that are touching the slab
- ? Gallons of gasoline to fuel the generator
- 24-V Rotary hammer drill (for the anchors)

(1) What am I missing? The crack would be 50 feet long and several inches deep. How much gasoline and saw blades would I need? The rock is granite.

(2) Is this ethical? Keep in mind no one can see it, not even the satellites employed by Google Earth can see it.
Skat B
From Down Rodeo
Joined Jan 9, 2012
634 points
Feb 8, 2013
you already broke rule #1 nick manning
From superior,az
Joined Jan 14, 2013
7 points
Feb 8, 2013
A grey fox skull wedged in a crack 100' up on a FA...
Skat B wrote:
(1) What am I missing?


A brain cell? Just build a crack machine in your yard.
Glenn Schuler
From Monument, Co.
Joined Jun 24, 2006
975 points
Feb 8, 2013
I'm confused on the whole overhung slab thing. michaeltarne
Joined Jan 2, 2011
124 points
Feb 8, 2013
sail away, joshua tree
michaeltarne wrote:
I'm confused on the whole overhung slab thing.


you haven't heard of overhung slab?? it's all the hype these days........
michael rowell
Joined Apr 26, 2011
20 points
Feb 8, 2013
michael rowell wrote:
you haven't heard of overhung slab?? it's all the hype these days........


No lie, one time a dude at the gym told me that anything less than 10* overhung was "basically considered a slab now"
frankstoneline
Joined Apr 23, 2009
22 points
Feb 8, 2013
The Cathedral Spires in RMNP, left to right: Stile...
If it's not visible on Google Earth, it doesn't actually exist. I say do what you will with the rock.

Just don't fuck with any "pre-euthanized dogs" or I will hunt you down and inhumanely euthanize you.
Marc H
From Lafayette, CO
Joined May 10, 2007
280 points
Feb 8, 2013
dream canyon fun!
skat! will it be bolted! roof crack slab cut with a saw that cant be seen from outer space... what? Devin Fin
From DURANGO
Joined Jan 14, 2010
3,262 points
Feb 8, 2013
Coffee after freezing our asses off near James Pea...
Pffft. Just use dynamite like they did on Sphinx Crack in the Splatte. Stich
From Colorado Springs, Colorado
Joined Jan 1, 2001
1,496 points
Feb 8, 2013
St George
It's an overhung cliff that is pretty smooth with no face holds or anything. You wouldn't even be able to aid this thing. And, yeah, this would be a trad climb. Definitely not a sport route!! The catch is that it is located on BLM land.... Skat B
From Down Rodeo
Joined Jan 9, 2012
634 points
Feb 8, 2013
rockclimbing.com/routes/North_...

Granite would take longer, and I'm thinking the ethics might be different when it's not in a quarry.

On the plus side, it wouldn't get polished as quickly.


Who owns the land... maybe ask them.
robrobrobrob
Joined Oct 23, 2012
10 points
Feb 8, 2013
Skat B wrote:
euthanized

I don't think this word means what you think it means.
That being said, anyone willing to take a saw to some choss should be encouraged to wear a GoPro and start a blog.
Boissal
From Small Lake, UT
Joined Aug 21, 2006
1,713 points
Feb 8, 2013
Bucky
Boissal wrote:
I don't think this word means what you think it means. That being said, anyone willing to take a saw to some choss should be encouraged to wear a GoPro and start a blog.


Zing.

I have to admit, the responses have been pretty tame so far. Perhaps because this is such an obvious troll (or maybe its not, in which case "wow"). Either way, c'mon interweb trollers, its Friday and this is red meat....dig in and give the rest of us something to laugh about.
J. Albers
From Colorado
Joined Jul 11, 2008
2,223 points
Feb 8, 2013
Boissal wrote:
I don't think this word means what you think it means.

"Inconceivable!"
Superclimber
Joined Mar 7, 2009
1,486 points
Feb 8, 2013
Climbing at the Gallery in Red Rocks
Skat B wrote:
In a canyon there is an overhanging pristine slab that is hidden from view of all climbers, hikers, and it's not even visible on Google Earth. It is not near any trails nor any climbing areas. Trees also obstruct its view from everything and everyone. Like I said earlier this slab is very overhung and has no holds on it. It will never be climbed. It's impossible. This would be a perfect face for a finger crack. Materials Needed: - Concrete saw with a generater - Pre-euthanized dogs from an animal shelter to haul up the saw and the generator - An axe to cut down the trees that are touching the slab - ? Gallons of gasoline to fuel the generator - 24-V Rotary hammer drill (for the anchors) (1) What am I missing? The crack would be 50 feet long and several inches deep. How much gasoline and saw blades would I need? The rock is granite. (2) Is this ethical? Keep in mind no one can see it, not even the satellites employed by Google Earth can see it.


dude, that sounds sick!!! Let me know if you need any help hauling the saw or generator in.

P.S. I can bring the bosch, mine's 52 volts so it'll drill faster for when we put up the pocket routes.

P.P.S. you need to add some 5 gallon buckets of sika to your list for the glufa routes.
kennoyce
From Layton, UT
Joined Aug 12, 2010
1,504 points
Feb 8, 2013
If we feed this weak troll now, perhaps he will grow stronger and bolder. Then he will entertain us for many threads to come. Superclimber
Joined Mar 7, 2009
1,486 points
Administrator
Feb 8, 2013
Me and the offspring walking back to the car after...
I suck at thin tips cracks. Can you make two jagged runs up that fucker with the 'ole concrete saw then use a giant rail bar to pry/chisel the middle chunk out? #2 Camalot/#3 Helium is a great size for me. How about a crack at the FA too? Gas fumes give me migraines so no help hauling that up. However, you shouldn't need my help with hauling shit, you have the pre-killed dead dogs for that. Jake Jones
From Richmond, VA
Joined Jul 30, 2011
1,009 points
Feb 8, 2013
Jake Jones wrote:
I suck at thin tips cracks. Can you make two jagged runs up that fucker with the 'ole concrete saw then use a giant rail bar to pry/chisel the middle chunk out? #2 Camalot/#3 Helium is a great size for me. How about a crack at the FA too? Gas fumes give me migraines so no help hauling that up. However, you shouldn't need my help with hauling shit, you have the pre-killed dead dogs for that.

That's the spirit!!!
Superclimber
Joined Mar 7, 2009
1,486 points
Feb 8, 2013
+1 for the GoPro video.

I am not going to debate the ethics but I think concrete saws are pretty heavy and hard to use, especially while hanging from a rope.
Josh B
Joined Feb 25, 2010
1 points
Feb 8, 2013
old rag summit
You should cut horizontal cracks rather than vertical giving your area a more Gunks like feel, this way you get instant bragging rights about how sandbagged your route is and therefore how hard you crush. Crossing
From Breinigsville, PA
Joined Apr 5, 2010
870 points
Feb 8, 2013
St George
Forget the dogs, I'll haul it up there myself. No, I'm not a troll. Yes, this is a legitimate question!! I look down on manufactured routes usually but given the location and the face it would look A LOT better with a steep finger crack!! Yes, I have heard both sides argue over cutting a crack in a quarry (5.11- I think?)

Why a finger crack? Finger cracks are badass. I'd make it deep enough to place gear and full-on finger locks. It would resemble Cobra Crack and would be out of my league but just having it there would be pretty cool!

Horizontal cracks would be sick but would the route even be climbable ?? Oh, and due to limited funds it won't be a freakin' hand crack and I'm not cutting a nice line just to take a crowbar to it...

Btw..WTF is a crack machine?? I need schematics!!

Thanks!
Skat B
From Down Rodeo
Joined Jan 9, 2012
634 points
Feb 8, 2013
Skat B wrote:
In a canyon there is an overhanging pristine slab that is hidden from view of all climbers, hikers, and it's not even visible on Google Earth. It is not near any trails nor any climbing areas. Trees also obstruct its view from everything and everyone. Like I said earlier this slab is very overhung and has no holds on it. It will never be climbed. It's impossible. This would be a perfect face for a finger crack. Materials Needed: - Concrete saw with a generater - Pre-euthanized dogs from an animal shelter to haul up the saw and the generator - An axe to cut down the trees that are touching the slab - ? Gallons of gasoline to fuel the generator - 24-V Rotary hammer drill (for the anchors) (1) What am I missing? The crack would be 50 feet long and several inches deep. How much gasoline and saw blades would I need? The rock is granite. (2) Is this ethical? Keep in mind no one can see it, not even the satellites employed by Google Earth can see it.

I've had a little bit of experience in this arena. First off, forget dogs. Dogs, even pre-euthanized, are an ethical powder keg. Get yourself some half-starved horses, they come cheaper and when you are done with them you can butcher them for lasagna.
Second, your saw is going to get hotter than Archie Bunker at an Obama rally once you get going. Get together a bunch of war orphans, some malnourished, some with cleft-palates, to cry as profusely as they can muster.A fiend of mine says onions will work to get the little tykes going, but I had the best results showing hard-core bouldering films on a loop. You'll need about a gallon. Use their tears to keep your saw cool.
Other than that, sounds like you've got a well thought out and exciting proj!
Cheerio!
matt davies
Joined Mar 9, 2007
25 points
Feb 8, 2013
Skat B wrote:
Btw..WTF is a crack machine?? I need schematics!! Thanks!


This might help your cause.
Crack machine
Crack machine
Superclimber
Joined Mar 7, 2009
1,486 points
Feb 8, 2013
Skat B wrote:
It would resemble Cobra Crack

BWWAAAAAAHHH!!
It most certainly would not. It would look like a manufactured rail up a blank overhang, complete with chalk and hordes or shirtless bros flailing on TR. At best, it will resemble the gash you'll put through your skull within 5 minutes of attempting to rap down with a giant saw...
Boissal
From Small Lake, UT
Joined Aug 21, 2006
1,713 points
Feb 8, 2013
Well, shortly after I sawed Manufractured in an "unclimbable" face we managed to climb the wall just beside the crack. Guess it wasn't impossible after all.

Otherwise be prepared for bizarre rappel manipulations and a lot of hard work.
Rogerlarock
From Nedsterdam, Colorado
Joined Sep 22, 2008
23 points
Feb 8, 2013
Skat B wrote:
Forget the dogs, I'll haul it up there myself. No, I'm not a troll. Yes, this is a legitimate question!! I look down on manufactured routes usually but given the location and the face it would look A LOT better with a steep finger crack!! Yes, I have heard both sides argue over cutting a crack in a quarry (5.11- I think?) Why a finger crack? Finger cracks are badass. I'd make it deep enough to place gear and full-on finger locks. It would resemble Cobra Crack and would be out of my league but just having it there would be pretty cool! Horizontal cracks would be sick but would the route even be climbable ?? Oh, and due to limited funds it won't be a freakin' hand crack and I'm not cutting a nice line just to take a crowbar to it... Btw..WTF is a crack machine?? I need schematics!! Thanks!




Hope Muir rises from his grave and beats the stupid out of you.
NorCalNomad
From San Francisco
Joined Oct 6, 2011
116 points


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