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Dumb things other climbers have said
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By Price
From SLC, UT
Apr 8, 2010

Four college aged guys were in the gym on friday night getting ready to take their test for lead belay and climbing. The gym employee asked them if they knew what back clipping was. Crickets chirped. He then asked them if they knew what Z-clipping was. Once again, crickets. Finally the biggest of the bunch says, "I gotta tell you, I've been climbing for a while and I've never heard of either of those."

The gym employee proceeded to demonstrate back clipping using a draw and their rope to which the bigger guy said, "Ooooh, I thought you said back-flipping. Yeah, I know what back clipping is."

Then they each took turns making it to only the second bolt on the 5.9 that most people climb for their lead test.


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By John Farrell
From Phoenix, AZ
Apr 8, 2010
Chilling on Moby Dick, Cochise Stronghold.

"Slack up the Take, NOW!"

Huh?


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By Doug Foust
From Henderson, Nevada
Apr 8, 2010
new toy

Brian Snider wrote:
Thats 4min 41secs Ill never get back. Thanks.


You made it through the whole thing!?!?!?!?
about a minute and a half and I needed a drink.


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By Brian Snider
From NorCal
Apr 8, 2010
Me

Luckly I was already drinking and I kept thinking she might get naked.


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By Chris Duca
Administrator
From Havertown, PA
Apr 8, 2010
Finishing up Elusive Dream at the King Wall.  Adirondacks, NY.

About 8 years ago while climbing at the Main Cliff @ Rumney, I heard someone yell, "Could you please be quiet! I'm trying to have a wilderness experience!!) at another climber for making noise while she climbed through the crux of a route.


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By Scott McMahon
From Boulder, CO
Apr 8, 2010
Bocan

Chris Duca wrote:
About 8 years ago while climbing at the Main Cliff @ Rumney, I heard someone yell, "Could you please be quiet! I'm trying to have a wilderness experience!!) at another climber for making noise while she climbed through the crux of a route.


I heard that too verbatim on Mt. Kahtadin...BUT they gut it was told to brought a FULL size boom box and started playing Stairway to Heaven at volume!!

The thing I though was amazing was he did the whole knife edge ridge with that thing strapped to the back of his pack.


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By Sam Stephens
Apr 8, 2010
Top half of Melifluous

Brian Snider wrote:
Luckly I was already drinking and I kept thinking she might get naked.


This.


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By Patrick Pfeifer
Apr 8, 2010

Damn Brian, quoted 3 times in this thread, Awesome!
If you ever come to Tucson I want to climb with you!


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By Jason Halladay
Administrator
From Los Alamos, NM
Apr 8, 2010
Climbing at the Belvedere crag near Nago with a great view of the northern end of Lake Garda and the town of Torbole sul Garda below. June 2013.

It amazes me how often other climbers use the term "free climbed" when referring to "free soloing"...
"I can't believe that Alex Honnold guy free climbed that route. So crazy."


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By Mark Kauz
From Madison, WI
Apr 8, 2010
Up on Rat Stew.

sunder wrote:
My favorite to yell while someone is climbing. Of course they are perfectly save when i yell this. "WHAT EVER YOU DO DON'T FALL THERE!!!"


I like this. Its similar to what I've done once, on a really safe easy climb. I yelled out:

"Okay! You're back on belay!"


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By Ty Harlacker
From Albuquerque, NM
Apr 8, 2010
Silverton

John P. wrote:
Not the dumbest but it was very funny. When at a popular winter top roping spot last December, a father/son combo shows up for some "climbing". The father instructs the son to do the walk around and set up the top rope by running one end through the anchors and then tossing the rope down, the kid gets to the top runs about 6 feet of rope through the anchor and yells "look out below" then tosses the rope still coiled to dad. Dad looked up at son and said "Son you remind me allot of your mother, let's go fishing"

Classic.


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By Ty Harlacker
From Albuquerque, NM
Apr 9, 2010
Silverton

How does this thing work again? <br />
How does this thing work again?


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By Tozankyaku
Apr 9, 2010

Preface: I offered a Grigri to a climber once, she said she knows how to use a grigri but declined saying she is much safer with a tube style device...

As she lowered her boyfriend she slipped on uneven terrain and slid about 4 feet, as she came to a stop I noticed she was not holding the rope in either hand but he was still hanging in the air... (a full 10 seconds had gone by) then she looked down to notice her error and quickly grabbed the rope. When she started to lower him again he didn't move because she was standing on the rope, stopping him from taking a 40 foot ground fall... Now it gets stupid...

As he started to do the same climb again, with her standing in the same place.
Me: Here you can use my grigri this time just in case.
Her: No thanks I don't need it.
Me: Are you sure that is a good idea after his last climb?
Her: No I am fine... Besides I've never dropped anyone....
Me: How about last time when you let go of the rope and accidentally stepped on it?
Her: Hey he didn't hit the ground did he!


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By Christopher Sorensen
From Provo, UT
Apr 9, 2010
FA of For Those Who Are About to Rock (We Salute You). Photo originally added by T. Higbee, but I added it myself to use as a profile pic.

Climbing at Tinker Toys in Rock Canyon, Utah, there's a guy who I know is a really experienced climber climbing with this girl who says she's been rock climbing for a few years. He asks if she knows how to lead belay. "Of course," she replies nonchalantly. So, he starts leading the route.

He gets to the first bolt, and tugs on the rope, which doesn't give at all. "Slack!" he yells. "Why?" she replies...

He downclimbed pretty quick. Apparently, the girl had never lead belayed in her life. She tried to convince him to get back up and that she could figure it out, but I think they wound up top roping.


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By Brian Snider
From NorCal
Apr 9, 2010
Me

Ok just heard this twominutes ago, although not a climber a pool player. " I'm competitive but I don't care about winning"


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By Evan1984
Apr 9, 2010

Dumbest thing I've said, "I've totally got this climb dialed."

Right before almost wetting myself on one of my few free solos.


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By kachoong
From The Outback, Texas
Apr 9, 2010
Climbing at Frog Buttress

A young apprentice I had once:

"Do you want to carry the rope or can I?"


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By SpecialK
From Hooksett, NH
Apr 9, 2010

I was finishing up a day of climbing at Pawtuckaway State Park (NH) and the sun was headed down, dusk settling in. Some mountain bikers rode by and stopped to watch me being lowered off the last climb.

"Oh cool. Are you guys night climbing?"
"Yeah. The grade goes up when you see less features."


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By Dom
Administrator
From New Brunswick Canada
Apr 9, 2010
Moby dick 5.11-

Do you want to try to onsight it again ?

Grassi Lakes, Alberta


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By Miller
Apr 13, 2010

spencerparkin-

I don't think you can make an ass of oneself at the "slipis" (not "lips).
That is what they are there for, that and showing how bad a scout leader can be.


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By Legs Magillicutty
From Littleton
Apr 13, 2010
Function over fashion.  My newest pair of climbing shoes.

"This is the most BOMBER nut ever!"

Said by a climber a few hundred feet up riiiiggghhht before he was about to rap off that sole piece. The most bomber nut EVER blew and he almost died. No lie.


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By Rockwood
From West Jordan
Apr 14, 2010
Spring in Zion

Multiple comments heard during one climb from a father belaying his teenage daughter up Bath Rock in City of Rocks, ID

Father - Don't fall for a minute, I'm putting my jacket on, you're not on belay

Daughter - I'm all out of those things you put on my harness
Father - what things?
Daughter - the things I clip to the bolts but there's still like 2 or 3 left before the top
Father - Don't worry about it, just go up to the top, you'll be fine

Daughter (from the top) - So I untied from the rope but I can't remember what knot you told me to use to tie into the anchors

She was standing on an insecure ledge at the anchors not clipped or tied to anything. A nearby climber offered to climb up quickly and clip her into the anchors and the father just said, ok sure, that sounds great. She held onto the anchors till the other climber reached her. She nor her father ever seemed scared the whole time, though every other climber within earshot was on pins and needles dreading the accident we were about to witness any second.


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By Aaron M
From Westminster, CO
Apr 14, 2010
Me

Katie Rockwood wrote:
Multiple comments heard during one climb from a father belaying his teenage daughter up Bath Rock in City of Rocks, ID Father - Don't fall for a minute, I'm putting my jacket on, you're not on belay Daughter - I'm all out of those things you put on my harness Father - what things? Daughter - the things I clip to the bolts but there's still like 2 or 3 left before the top Father - Don't worry about it, just go up to the top, you'll be fine Daughter (from the top) - So I untied from the rope but I can't remember what knot you told me to use to tie into the anchors She was standing on an insecure ledge at the anchors not clipped or tied to anything. A nearby climber offered to climb up quickly and clip her into the anchors and the father just said, ok sure, that sounds great. She held onto the anchors till the other climber reached her. She nor her father ever seemed scared the whole time, though every other climber within earshot was on pins and needles dreading the accident we were about to witness any second.


WOW!


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By Crag Dweller
From New York, NY
Apr 14, 2010
My navigator keeps me from getting lost

Katie Rockwood wrote:
Multiple comments heard during one climb from a father belaying his teenage daughter up Bath Rock in City of Rocks, ID Father - Don't fall for a minute, I'm putting my jacket on, you're not on belay Daughter - I'm all out of those things you put on my harness Father - what things? Daughter - the things I clip to the bolts but there's still like 2 or 3 left before the top Father - Don't worry about it, just go up to the top, you'll be fine Daughter (from the top) - So I untied from the rope but I can't remember what knot you told me to use to tie into the anchors She was standing on an insecure ledge at the anchors not clipped or tied to anything. A nearby climber offered to climb up quickly and clip her into the anchors and the father just said, ok sure, that sounds great. She held onto the anchors till the other climber reached her. She nor her father ever seemed scared the whole time, though every other climber within earshot was on pins and needles dreading the accident we were about to witness any second.


You should've called the department of children and family services. Seriously.


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By matthewWallace
From plymouth, nh
Apr 14, 2010
Sticking the pinch on the V5 variation. self portrait.

Me directed towards someone rappeling with a rope that is obviously too short.

Me: hey man you should probably tie a know in the end of your rope

idiot: why?

Me: so you dont reappel of the end, that would be a bad way to end a good day.
(at this point I am weirded out)

Idiot: how could that happen?

Me: when you run out of rope you will free fall

Idiot: oh, I was wondering why people had knots in the nd of their rope.


I finished by telling him the "rules" of rappeling, but I was so scarred the whole time.


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