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Be honest, have you ever shit in your pants while climbing?
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By Locker
From Yucca Valley, CA
Apr 6, 2013
...
I actually didn't think this thread would fly.



Fucking COOL!



LOL!


"Honesty is the best policy" and there appears to be PLENTY of it here!

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By erik kapec
From prescott, az
Apr 6, 2013
enjoying the static, grappel and a smoke on Dana.....
haha yup up on granite mountain in AZ. Ate only oatmeal the previous day since I was broke....I had a goal of doing 20 pitches in a day on the mountain, and around pitch 8 It happened. shortened the day and was a heck of a shitty walk out.

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By Tom-onator
From This Galaxy
Apr 7, 2013
Tom-onator
While climbing, never.
Smuggled a brown trout in my bvd's one day while walking home from elementary school. I stayed playing late with friends and with the building locked up I had no place to go but in my cub scout uniform!

Then in high school my brothers and I went to Mexico during spring break. The week went fine until it was time to leave. I think I ate some tainted sugar cane. Delicious and thirst quenching, we ate tons of it that last day.
We drove a car there and back, so I had to beg every 15 mins or so to pull over so I could race to a toilet. Alas, there were more miles of road than available bathrooms and this game of craps was looking desperate.
While racing to the privy of an abandoned gas station somewhere along the Pan-American highway, Montezuma had his revenge!
I shat my drawers with a frothing mess so disgusting I had no alternative but to wipe myself with the cleanest portions and leave my undies there!

I was climbing Bellford falls once with some buddies. We camped at the parking/camping area, and while I was attending business (on one of those folding camp toilets where you poop into a plastic bag) a slight shift collapsed the thing right underneath me! I smashed directly onto the pile of poop causing much laughter among all those nearby.

Finally,I was climbing Lincoln falls with a guy named Rich. We only had a 50 meter rope, so we opted to climb the main flow in 2 pitches.
I led the first short vertical pitch, made anchor, then brought Rich up to the belay. Once he got there he said "we really have to hurry this pitch cuz I gotta go!" He grabbed all the screws we had and started racing up the lower angled gully, made anchor, and brought me up the pitch.

I was pulling screws out and climbing as fast as I could climb, but time had run out for Rich. I remember huge snowflakes were blowing all around us. I was almost to the belay on easy ice when Rich bailed. I had to finish the pitch and clean the anchor myself!
Rich had to poop right then and there at the top of the falls next the juniper bushes in a whiteout!
I remember another climber had just topped out on a route near us to see some guy taking a shit at the top of the falls and his partner climbing on a rope without a belayer! I was so embarrassed for us both! Watching Rich take a dump on the falls in a blizzard was truely comical!

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By APBT1976
Apr 7, 2013
Black Dike 12/25/11
Great stories Tom,

Wish my memory served me better as i be i would have a few myself.

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By Mike Hasse
From Lebanon, NH
Apr 7, 2013
Descending the knife edge ridge on Aiguille du Mid...
Climber with ulcerative colitis here: if you can imagine it, I've shit my pants doing it. Two of my most notable I think were when my partner was leading a snice-y section of Hallet's Chimney and took a fall onto a pink tricam. Something about the pressure change in the harness just squeezed it all out of me, and I had to clean up at a semi-hanging belay.

The second one was while leading above the crux on the Contamine-Mazeaud. The funniest part about that one was the pair of french guides who were rapidly gaining on us from below. That was like a commando clean up, and then I dropped the offending undies down a moat/'schrund thing so the guides didn't curse me out. Fun times

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By Locker
From Yucca Valley, CA
Apr 7, 2013
...
"Something about the pressure change in the harness just squeezed it all out of me"


LMAO!

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By tenesmus
Apr 7, 2013
see: my user name.

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By Colonel Mustard
From Reno, NV
Apr 7, 2013
Colonel Mustard
tenesmus wrote:
see: my user name.


Yeah, I've always enjoyed that one. But doesn't it mean you feel like you have to take a shit when you don't really have to? Jalepenos do that to me.

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By Stone Nude
Apr 7, 2013
When dumb people have disposable income, hilarity ...
Jason, awesome story. I had a taco bell-related incident years ago that put me in a very wary place about the Play-doh "mexican" joints. Ruined my best pants, no redemption possible.

I think my best climbing related poo-story is that a new route my friend got the FA on was named after my morning-after "spicy level 10" thai curry dinner explosions, which were coming regularly as clockwork as we worked on a new wall, always right after I harnessed up, never with more than a minute and a half till tactical nuke time. I'm a big fan of wag bags and use them regularly (ha) but during this wonderful time of collecting unemployment, putting up great pitches, and eating FUCKING spicy food, I pretty much gave a particilar spot at the base the Scorched Earth treatment. The trees seem to be doing fine...

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By Gwut
Apr 8, 2013
Me
I once tusted my self to much on a sloper mantel, it didn't work out to goood in the end. It was a climbing trip so hey.

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By Hans
From North Vancouver, BC
Apr 8, 2013
You find some weird stuff on the internet.

Go climbing.

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By ColinM
From Escondido, CA
Apr 8, 2013
Capitol Peak
Fortunately I've never had to go while on the rock yet, but I had a close call a couple of months ago. I was belaying my partner up the first pitch right after eating lunch. Standing in the hot sun, I felt some gurgling. I told my partner to find somewhere to anchor into, which he did. After a short trip in the bushes and some explosive diarrhea later, I was feeling better and back belaying.

I lost track of how many times I had to drop my pants on Mt. Shasta last week. I think that hip belt must constrict my intestines or something. That ziplock added quite a few pounds to my pack.

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By Morgan Patterson
Administrator
Apr 8, 2013
Topo - Cliffs in Green
I shard OFTEN...

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By Ben Brotelho
From Albany, NY
Apr 8, 2013
Epic free solo with a pack on
Guess that climb?
Guess that climb?


Almost didn't make it to the snowpatch...guess that climb

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By Locker
From Yucca Valley, CA
Apr 8, 2013
...
Why is there always some self righteous fuck that feels they NEED to bust the flow?

"You find some weird stuff on the internet.

Go climbing."
...


To the poster of above quote:

You're reading this, and posting here, WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU OUT CLIMBING?



PS... I'm taking a SHIT while writing this...

;-)

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By Eric G.
From Saratoga Springs, NY
Apr 8, 2013
Ben Brotelho wrote:
guess that climb


maybe the great chimney?

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By David Peterson
Apr 8, 2013
Amarillo Sunset
Locker wrote:
Why is there always some self righteous fuck that feels they NEED to bust the flow? "You find some weird stuff on the internet. Go climbing."... To the poster of above quote: You're reading this, and posting here, WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU OUT CLIMBING? PS... I'm taking a SHIT while writing this... ;-)


I think he meant "Go Climbing!" as in "Hooray for Climbing!" Might be wrong though

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By Locker
From Yucca Valley, CA
Apr 8, 2013
...
I don't think so.

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By Ben Brotelho
From Albany, NY
Apr 8, 2013
Epic free solo with a pack on
Eric G. wrote:
maybe the great chimney?


Nope....hint: it is in Rocky Mountain National Park

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By Jake Jones
From Richmond, VA
Apr 8, 2013
Me and the offspring walking back to the car after...
This reminds me of a joke. A fierce Navy Captain encounters an enemy ship quickly approaching. "Bring me my red shirt!" he commands. Later, after the battle, the First Mate asks him why the red shirt? The Captain says "so if I were to be wounded, the crew would not know and would continue to fight."

Two days later, the lookout from the crow's nest exclaims "20 ENEMY SHIPS APPROACHING!" To this, the Captain replies "Bring me my brown pants!"

If you've heard this one before, apologies. I still get a kick out of it, and it's somewhat relevant.

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By bernard
From birmingham, al
Apr 8, 2013
near trapps, Shawangunks, NY, 2008
i'm just please to read that the title of this post is composed using proper grammar......the preposition 'in'......rather than simply "shit your pants", which has become popular among the more dim-minded in current vernacular......

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By Locker
From Yucca Valley, CA
Apr 8, 2013
...
I AGREE!

I fucking HATE when I hear people say that their kid, "Pee'd their pants".

My first thought is, "WOW! That must have really hurt!".

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By Boissal
From Small Lake, UT
Apr 8, 2013
bernard wrote:
i'm just please to read that the title of this post is composed using proper grammar......the preposition 'in'......rather than simply "shit your pants", which has become popular among the more dim-minded in current vernacular......

Ummmm... One could argue that proper grammar would also dictate the use of shat instead of shit. Although both forms seem acceptable as the past participle in modern Engligh.
I guess your point stands assuming of course that you meant to write pleased instead of please...

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By Locker
From Yucca Valley, CA
Apr 8, 2013
...
It doesn't take long to get shot down around here.

LOL!

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By J Q
Apr 8, 2013
Me again!
Ben Brotelho wrote:
Nope....hint: it is in Rocky Mountain National Park



Yes, but instead of shitting in your pants, which was the whole point of the thread, you shat on a national recreation area you billy goat you. That should make for a nice belay!



When red pointing "space lord" several years ago I got in a double knee bar and began sweating. A lot of sweating. I then farted. The wet fart felt like a shart and I was convinced that I had. I got to the top because I was gonna send that rig, otherwise, I had wasted a perfectly good pair of pants. After the send I was very relieved to find that I had not shit into my pants. Though people still tell legends of the fart around the campfire from time to time.

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