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Dumb things other climbers have said

eli poss · · Durango, CO · Joined May 2014 · Points: 525

"I don't know what that is, you can't use that!"
-Gumby employed at the campus climbing gym after seeing me belay with a munter hitch, even after catching multiple whips.

I have to admit it felt amazing watching him struggle on my warmup and flail on a perfect handcrack.

Dan CO · · Boulder, CO · Joined Aug 2009 · Points: 60

Dumb things other climbers have said:

eli poss wrote:"I don't know what that is, you can't use that!" -Gumby employed at the campus climbing gym after seeing me belay with a munter hitch, even after catching multiple whips. I have to admit it felt amazing watching him struggle on my warmup and flail on a perfect handcrack.
I don't know of any gym that lets you belay with a munter. Must feel pretty awesome to know more and be stronger than someone else.
JoeLars41 · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2015 · Points: 60

Just for kicks I once asked an employee of our local climbing gym if I could belay with a Munter. He said, “no, you have to use a figure 8.” So I said, “I was asking if I could belay with a Munter.” He said, “no, you have to tie in with a figure 8.”

Same climbing gym – different employee:
I was using my ATC guide with the low friction side on the break because the rope was so fat and it was easier, and I was told that I was using it backwards. The employee insisted that the device had to be used the other way. I explained it could be used either way, but the employee insisted, “there’s no friction the way you have it.”

Perhaps these don’t qualify for the post “Dumb things other climbers have said.” Sad, but there is no basis to assume that just because someone works at a climbing gym they know anything about climbing.

Mike McHugh · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2013 · Points: 420

Every so often, while cleaning the bathrooms & trash in the Eldo main lot, I like to ask arriving climbers what route they're going to climb. Gets my mind off the fecal festival. Most climbers are happy to chat, smiles are exchanged, I get back to the task at hand.

Love the occasional climber who puts on their best "oh, bless your heart" face/voice and says something to the effect of "We're going to use these ropes and equipment to do TECHNICAL ROCK CLIMBING." Because surely someone cleaning facilities couldn't begin to understand what them thar ropes and doodads are for.

Tom Sherman · · Austin, TX · Joined Feb 2013 · Points: 433

^^^^

oh god, its about as bad as people who put "Rock Climbing" as an interest in their dating profiles, then when asked, they explain they meant that once in their life they drove to the scenic overlook that has a 1/4 mile trail on it and that they enjoyed walking downhill from their car for 5-1/2 minutes

Me: "You mean hiking"
They: "Yeah climbing on the rocks"

Draw Thief · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 70

"Hey! This guy grabbed our stuff! Call the cops!"

Classic.

Kiri Namtvedt · · Minneapolis, MN · Joined Nov 2007 · Points: 30

There was a 5.11d toprope in my local gym, set in a corner that can be stemmed. But it did say on the tag "side wall off". I saw some young guy thrutch his way up it using the side wall, yell triumphantly upon reaching the top and then announce happily to his belayer, "Maybe I will climb a .12 this year; I just got up that .11d clean and it didn't seem too hard."

Kiri Namtvedt · · Minneapolis, MN · Joined Nov 2007 · Points: 30

Also seen at the climbing gym: some guy clipped the rope to the haul loop on the back of his harness. I told him, "You're supposed to tie in on the front."

He said, "No, Pat (the instructor, very experienced) told us to do it this way."

He climbed, reached the top and was lowered, and of course the rear tie-in meant that he was hanging face down while lowering. He exclaimed, "This is weird!"

I went and told Pat what happened, and Pat said in a disgusted tone, "No, I did not tell him to do that!"

Will Shaw · · Hillsboro, OH · Joined Jun 2014 · Points: 110

"When you're on an alpine route, it's more important that you knot fast than it is that you get it right every time."

mark felber · · Wheat Ridge, CO · Joined Jul 2005 · Points: 41
Kiri Namtvedt wrote:Also seen at the climbing gym: some guy clipped the rope to the haul loop on the back of his harness. I told him, "You're supposed to tie in on the front." He said, "No, Pat (the instructor, very experienced) told us to do it this way." He climbed, reached the top and was lowered, and of course the rear tie-in meant that he was hanging face down while lowering. He exclaimed, "This is weird!" I went and told Pat what happened, and Pat said in a disgusted tone, "No, I did not tell him to do that!"
At least the haul loop held...
eli poss · · Durango, CO · Joined May 2014 · Points: 525
DEF wrote:I don't know of any gym that lets you belay with a munter. Must feel pretty awesome to know more and be stronger than someone else.
There's no reason I shouldn't be allowed to belay with a munter, especially considering I was using my own rope. The guy was also extremely condescending and claimed that the munter was "unsafe".

And yeah, it does feel good to watch this guy struggle after having him lecture me about shit he didn't know. And considering he was very rude and clueless, I shouldn't have to feel bad about him struggling.
Todd Anderson · · Santa Fe, NM · Joined Jun 2011 · Points: 160

"I think the best way to do that move is to campus, augmented with that foot."
-Me

Augmented campusing = using only the hands and feet = the new alpinism

frank minunni · · Las Vegas, NV · Joined May 2011 · Points: 95

I was climbing in the Daks with a couple of friends and scoping out a new line. As we're looking at it, Doc says "We can scamper up to the overhanging crack and see what it's like." As it turned out, the "Scamper" turned out to be a 12a mantle onto a sloping 6 inch shelf.

"Scamper" has since been stricken from our lexicon.

Here's another:

Climbing at the Devil's tower and on the way in a couple asks us what all that stuff is for.

"We're going to climb the tower." I said.

"Really." the guy said. "Why are you climbing the tower?"

"Phone line's down up top. We're going to fix it."

"Oh." he said. "Now it makes sense."

frank minunni · · Las Vegas, NV · Joined May 2011 · Points: 95
BigNobody wrote:"When I used to guide (insert extreme sport)" Has been's are the worst.
Hey! I'm a has been. What am I going to do now?
NESteve · · Westport, NY · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 0

"we put in a bunch of bolts to make it SAFE"

eli poss · · Durango, CO · Joined May 2014 · Points: 525

not something said but something done:

one time I was super stoked on a climb and ended up forgetting to tie in. I didn't notice until I went to clip the first bolt. I didn't want to come back down so I had my belayer throw the rope up. I didn't have a stance to tie in, though, so I ended up biting the rope and climbing up another 5' to a stance at the next bolt. I didn't know there was such a thing as "too stoked"

Mark Dalen · · Albuquerque, NM · Joined Dec 2011 · Points: 1,002

Frank - mind if I borrow 'scamper' as a supreme understatement ... ?

aonimoi · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2015 · Points: 0

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Life is sporting all the time.
Fighting

David Gibbs · · Ottawa, ON · Joined Aug 2010 · Points: 2
DEF wrote: I don't know of any gym that lets you belay with a munter.
I climbed at one gym in Germany where several people were belaying with munter hitches. I think it was: kletterzentrum-stuttgart.de/
Andrew Wood · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2015 · Points: 60

lead belaying a random hero because I'm feeling friendly
takes a whipper on the first bolt and I lock down my ATC
climbing shoe stabs me in the eye as he whips
"wow, you should really use a grigri, you could have dropped him"
meanwhile, my brakehand and grip has not moved and I'm down an eye
Thanks Grigri.

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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