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Most tired Climbing Cliches?

christoph benells · · tahoma · Joined Nov 2014 · Points: 306

"that rock was the size of an electric turkey knife!"

Healyje · · PDX · Joined Jan 2006 · Points: 422
Adam Burch wrote: Yes!!!!!!! You're 100% correct. I remember describing a rock on Rainier as a "microwave". What an asshole I am, eh?!
Except I recall one actually landing in a guy's lap who was belaying sitting down under a known loose block described as that size. Seemed an appropriate description at the time given the number of people who posted up saying it was loose and a hazard (though I now I see those comments are no longer there).
Steven Groetken · · Durango, CO · Joined Sep 2012 · Points: 390

"My car got broken into at T Wall"

"I left my right TC Pro at (insert crag)"

"What size shoe should I get?"

"The only reason I'm on MP instead of climbing is because I'm at work" (guilty)

vincent L. · · Redwood City · Joined Jan 2005 · Points: 560

"I'm psyched!"... and

... playing 'Wagon Wheel' around the campfire.

Colonel Mustard · · Sacramento, CA · Joined Sep 2005 · Points: 1,241

Cliches? Here's one: I'm tired of people being tired of everything and airing their shitty little grievances as if their turdy thoughts are a unique perspective and a gift to the world. It's fucking climbing on fucking rocks, no big deal. Treat people as befits them, climb your climbs, and don't air your bitch on the internet later like a smug little mug. If you couldn't deal with shit like a human being at the crag, I don't want to hear about it later. If you can't tolerate people being people, buy a shanty in Montana and mail letter bombs to a select group of your favorite senators. Shut the fuck up with your petty little bitches and your eye rolling and grow the fuck up because nobody but the next little Peter Pan with his nose buried so far up his own taint he thinks his own man musk is the way the world whiffs gives a solitary fuck about your pettiness.

That's my cliched rant, anyway ;).

Rwwon ru · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 35

A [noun] [past tense verb] on my [piece of climbing], is it still okay?

Gunkiemike · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2009 · Points: 3,492

"Splitter" used to describe something as "high quality". Ex. "Dude's got a SPLITTER van...We had three days of SPLITTER weather"

That's not what it means, folks.

No lie, I actually saw where someone raved about a crag's "splitter corners". Really??!!

Oh, and selfies.

Selfies are for self-absorbed 15 year old girls.

sherb · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2012 · Points: 60

In response to "what shoe should I get?"
"The best shoe is the one that fits you."

Bill Kirby · · Keene New York · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 480

That was a spicy lead.

It's puking snow. Using the word "pow"

Drinking cheap beer but smoking expensive weed. I met some guys (who were very cool and didn't need to ask but did anyway if they could smoke and drink around me) who were drinking PBR. One of them said they paid $60 for their bag of pot. What?

I'm not sure this is pertinent but wearing approach shoes to the gym is the worst than having three different belay devices, five belay cards and six carabiners off your harness.

FrankPS · · Atascadero, CA · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 276
Gunkiemike wrote: Oh, and selfies. Selfies are for self-absorbed 15 year old girls.
Good one. I feel the same way about Facebook. "Here, let me tell everyone about my life." Because we're so interested.
Rodney P · · Ouray,CO · Joined Oct 2011 · Points: 335

"Awesome" used for pretty much anything is getting annoying!

saxfiend · · Decatur, GA · Joined Nov 2006 · Points: 4,221

"Gym climbers (or the growing popularity of gym climbing) is the root cause of [climbing accidents/rude behavior/anything bad that happens at the crag]."

sherb · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2012 · Points: 60

Agree with above and further, said in a snooty tone, "I don't like pulling on Plastic"/"gym climbing is for training only"/"gym climbing has little to do with outdoor climbing" or any variation thereof.

I am sorry this modern engineering marvel is so beneath you.

Treadmill running and stationary bike riding are presumably for training, health, and/or enjoyment as well, ingeniously created by man, yet few people feel the need to assert it is for training, that it is different from being outside, and that they prefer running or biking outdoors.

doligo · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Sep 2008 · Points: 264

"{insert a noun} is Aid" (e.g. tape, chalk, shoes)

"Assholes from Colorado" or "How do you know it's springtime in Moab? blah blah blah" joke.

"Just read the FOTH!"

"Looking for ice partner, lead WI2, follow anything, don't have ice screws" (i.e. looking for a free guide)

I also cringe at the overuse of "dirtbag" (when referring to anything cheap or road trip related) and "adventure" (when referring to the most mundane outings).

john strand · · southern colo · Joined May 2008 · Points: 1,640
Rodney P wrote:"Awesome" used for pretty much anything is getting annoying!
or amazing....like a hot dog 'it's amazing" no, it's a hot dog

i think people apply this to any climb they can get up
tim naylor · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2004 · Points: 370

"hey, want me to run up that for you and get your draws"

you just gotta "believe"

redlude97 · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2010 · Points: 5
Ana Tine wrote:Agree with above and further, said in a snooty tone, "I don't like pulling on Plastic"/"gym climbing is for training only"/"gym climbing has little to do with outdoor climbing" or any variation thereof. I am sorry this modern engineering marvel is so beneath you. Treadmill running and stationary bike riding are presumably for training, health, and/or enjoyment as well, ingeniously created by man, yet few people feel the need to assert it is for training, that it is different from being outside, and that they prefer running or biking outdoors.
What? people do that all the time. I even agree that running and cycling outside is the only way to go. Unlike gym climbing, both of those are significantly less enjoyable indoors
sherb · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2012 · Points: 60
redlude97 wrote: What? people do that all the time. I even agree that running and cycling outside is the only way to go. Unlike gym climbing, both of those are significantly less enjoyable indoors
Well, still a cliche I hear often.

I agree running and cycling are significantly less enjoyable indoors than gym climbing is (or just less enjoyable in general), cuz I am always looking at the clock on a treadmill (only 3 minutes went by?!?!) and climbing in a gym is actually fun, esp due to those overhanging roof routes.
Healyje · · PDX · Joined Jan 2006 · Points: 422
Ana Tine wrote:"I don't like pulling on Plastic"/"gym climbing is for training only"/"gym climbing has little to do with outdoor climbing" or any variation thereof.
Gyms were originally an attempt to provide an indoor emulation of outdoor climbing however vaguely related. The issue is that, after about a decade, things got turned on their head and generations of climbers who learned in gyms then wanted emulations of gyms outdoors; hence this result:



That, and the fact that now someone, somewhere on the planet is likely being dropped every 15 minutes 24x365.
Mark E Dixon · · Possunt, nec posse videntur · Joined Nov 2007 · Points: 974

"The route should clean up nicely."

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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