Rock Gym for First Date??

I didn't take my now wife until we were engaged, but she wasn't the outdoors type. She is now! One thing to think about, I saw a couple on a second date at a gym, and she flirted the whole time with the employee teaching them how to belay.

If she is outdoorsy, I say go for it!

also don't expect any action afterwards because her hands are probably going to hurt

If you can be a supportive, low-pressure teacher, and are otherwise not a jerk, even if she hates it, the climbing gym can be a good time. For most people, climbing takes them out of their comfort zone, which is pretty much ideal on a first-date, provided its still safe and in a controlled environment. You'll get a lot of real emotional response, from fear to happiness to frustration, so it can be really useful for her to see how you deal with those expressions, and, provided you trust her enough to get into that scenario, what your expressions of fear and frustration look like.

I actually met my last girlfriend at a belay clinic I was teaching. She really got into it, and climbing ended up being a central feature of that relationship.

eli poss wrote:also don't expect any action afterwards because her hands are probably going to hurt

Haha... or don't expect any action afterwards because people who "expect action" are the least likely to get it - at least from partners with self-respect.

If you're excited to be with someone, sore hands are not going to stop you.

wa5.10 wrote: from a woman perspective

Don't do it.

Joshua Hunt wrote:Took my senior prom date climbing. She loved it but couldn't hold anything the rest of the day

Best advise on the thread... Im really sorry man. We all made really terrible decisions in high school.

tim wrote:I can't think of a douchier environment than a climbing gym

Tim Lutz wrote: ...says the guy from Boulder

Ever climb at a gym in Boulder? Non the less been to Boulder? oh I see whats going on here

Tim Lutz wrote: ...says the guy from Boulder

best line in the thread

Tim Lutz wrote: yes, and there were a lot of shaved chest, trustfundy east coast transplants with knitted beanies, brand new Prana pants, and neon hipster glasses worn inside. ... aka douches

just let them stay happy in their little bubble. someday they'll figure it out

Hipster be like....
Old timers be like.....

A climbing gym can be a fun, low-pressure, active way to spend time together. Just look at all the birthday parties kids have there. The key is to pay attention to how they do it for the kids: be upbeat, be chill, just have fun; pay careful attention and if anyone isn't having fun, change tack. Lots of good advice up-topic re be focused on helping her have a good time, not on doing your project, etc. Make it about her having fun, not about climbing.

FWIW, I'm taking my wife to Skaha (BC) climbing on our 35th anniversary in May. But then that's kind of a slam-dunk because she wants to try out the new rope she got for Christmas. We didn't start climbing until our mid-50s, and she had a lifelong fear of heights. Good way to end up talking to a divorce lawyer if you bungle it! When she first came to the gym with me, I carefully observed the gym staff and did it just like they do for the kids' birthday parties. Does it work? Well, two years later she was lead-climbing multipitch sport routes. These days she drags me out to the crag when I'm tired from work and would rather just veg out.

The proper response in that situation, FYI, is "yes, dear". Then shut up and rack up. And smile when you do it. Life will be good.

eli poss wrote: just let them stay happy in their little bubble. someday they'll figure it out

Oh god I hope not....

Lutz

This is my problem with threads... Im not super smart and have a real hard time portraying my sarcasm.

I honestly have never in my entire life been more uncomfortable than at a climbing gym in Boulder. Slightly less uncomfortable than walking down the street Boulder. I have never been to a gym anywhere else. I just thought thats how the world was...

Hippicrites (feel free to use that), only the very very worse kind of person

So I dunno? maybe a climbing gym would be a pretty sweet first date.

Do not over coach her. Explain how a problem works and let her figure it out on her own. Maybe add a few spinners so you can play hero when she injures herself.

if she can;t belay it's not going to work out :p

Don't take her to a gym - too much about difficulty and way too many people. Go outside somewhere it's easy climbing and make a fun day of it.

First date with my now wife, was outdoor climbing on fun sandstone, 2nd date was to Chamonix.

Sure I've done it, and I think climbing makes a great date, especially if she's interested in trying it. BUT:

Do not expect her to learn how to belay, and to belay you, if it's her first time climbing. That is really stupid and a recipe for disaster. You can show her how to belay so she knows for next time but don't even suggest that she or he take a belay test their first time climbing.

It really helps if you know you'll have a couple friends in the gym that day, whether you invite them, or just know they'll be there. That way they can belay you , so you can get a chance to climb and your date gets a break. Plus it makes a more relaxed environment, with less pressure, and meeting a few of your friends will probably make your date feel more comfortable and safer.

Steve Jones wrote:Don't take her to a gym - too much about difficulty and way too many people. Go outside...

Are you serious?! A first date climbing outside sounds like the worst date idea in history, unless you know that she is already a competent climber/belayer. Hell I wouldn't even go hiking on a first date. And unless they already know you pretty well, I don't think most girls are comfortable going to a mountain somewhere alone with a guy they just met..

And please, no one say 'just give her a grigri and she'll be fine'..

Eliot Augusto wrote:Take her on a simple multipitch. Like a 2-3 pitch 5.6. If it over looks a canyon or valley, something that looks awesome at sunset. Bring a picnic setup for maximum chances. I vote no to a climbing gym. I vote yes to real climbing.

Wow multipitch on a first date with someone who's never climbed before.. Some of you guys take some pretty crazy risks..

Even if you don't value your own safety, think of all the pressure you're putting on your poor date, to learn a bunch of new skills and literally hold your life in their hands their very first time touching a rope.. And then if you get fall and get seriously hurt, it will be entirely your fault, but they will have to live with the guilt.

Sure a multipitch is an amazing experience and you can feel proud that you showed them an awesome date and showed off your hardcore climbing skills, but you're also being a reckless dumbass with no regard for the safety of either of you. You can save the multipitch climbing for once they've learned how to lead belay.

Dan Africk wrote: Are you serious?! I don't think most girls are comfortable going to a mountain somewhere alone with a guy they just met'..

Why not? I'll be sure to pick her up in my van I've been living out of for the last three months. Hey little girl wanna piece of candy?

Just give her a gri gri. Any idiot can use one of those.