Anyone have any legitimate "close-calls" while climbing?

Since we are on the subject of top roping and probing, I was shamefully TR'ing the crux of Pony Express. I came off at the crux and with rope stretch I landed on the small tree behind me. Another couple inches and I would have had a bark enema. Luckily, only my pride was injured...

The Alpine Near Miss Survey is a good place to log (and read about) close calls.

alpinenearmiss.org/

You are going to be having of the dying!

I once have a close call on route of multiple pitch. Angry ledge bear attack and lion of mountain drop down on my head from above. I punch the ledge bear right in the nose, then wrap my meaty bicep around that nasty lion's head and give him the headlock until he give the whimper of submission. Next, I throw him from the cliff and continue on for bold, enjoyable flash.

Aleks Zebastian wrote:You are going to be having of the dying! I once have a close call on route of multiple pitch. Angry ledge bear attack and lion of mountain drop down on my head from above. I punch the ledge bear right in the nose, then wrap my meaty bicep around that nasty lion's head and give him the headlock until he give the whimper of submission. Next, I throw him from the cliff and continue on for bold, enjoyable flash.

I just wanted to thank you all... I needed a good laugh!

I won't even add my [actual] close calls.

Well clearly this is a joke/troll thread but once on a 3 pitcher at Castle Rocks, ID, after rappelling the 2nd pitch, realized that I had not clipped into the ATC loop, just the two strands of rope, threaded through the ATC.

Scared the shit out of me.

climbalready2 wrote: Yeah but have you ever taken on a flying squirrel and a talking moose?!

Aleks Zebastian wrote: I have not seen these things, because I do no do the taking of the drugs, unless you count the injecting of the fish oils and a little cheddar cheese straight to veins before difficult, enjoyable flash.

climbalready2 wrote: Drugs! Of course! That explains everything! Maybe now I will stop having those horrible nightmares about it. God bless you. Aleks!

Jesus almost killed me once went he leaped off the necklace of someone climbing above me on the route next to me. Zipped right by my head. Guess he heard me calling him a douche. He didn't disappoint.

Eric LaRoche wrote:Jesus almost killed me once went he leaped off the necklace of someone climbing above me on the route next to me. Zipped right by my head. Guess he heard me calling him a douche. He didn't disappoint.

My father-in-law fell into our septic tank...not really climbing related, except he had to climb out--didn't seem like anyone wanted to go in after him.

He slept for 48 hours straight and was fine...definitely do not try this at home.

I've had an illegitimate close call in the gym. I was leading a 32A, well below my on sight, naturally slopey with no real holds, was cruxing hard when I realized I was off belay. I was just cooling down on this particular route,which I thought would be an easy send because no one ever got on it, but both feet came off and were shaking when I realized I was spent. I was totally pumped, and greased off. As I whipped, I thought it might be 18 years of rehab. WTF, I was projecting 34DD just yesterday!

Thankfully, although it was messy, it was during a new route-cycling, and the pads were stacked high. There was about a month when my partner and I (who I just met) feared our memberships would be over charged, as our gym has a strict policy about negligence.

My next bill showed no additional balance, and, relieved, I returned to training on bigger slopers. Now I always make sure to use the auto-belay, and just pretend I'm leading.

I was several pitches up the other day when I felt some pressure building in my buttocks. I decided to ease one out to relieve the pressure when I felt the big one trying to escape. I clenched down quickly and got a hold of most of it. Unfortunately, I still sharted a bit. Yuk!

Climbing friend!,

Once, while the climbing of rocks in the American Arizona state, flashing I was of a beautiful hard route. As I commenced the grand flash, my hand went inside a crack of quality. A bat flew into my face of full fish heads. My quest for the flash did not let me quit the climbing of rocks. There were many potential climbing girlfriends watching. The beautiful flash was of made without fall. After, I made many a bold press of boulders in the dry mountain stream of the Arizona, but of no success was the girlfriend for climbings. Had I be Sven Lavransen, this problem would not problem have been. The bat and I many cheesesteaks have ate together. Bat and me are of many enjoyable flashes together, climbing friends are we.

True story

Steven Groetken wrote:Climbing friend!, Once, while the climbing of rocks in the American Arizona state, flashing I was of a beautiful hard route. As I commenced the grand flash, my hand went inside a crack of quality. A bat flew into my face of full fish heads. My quest for the flash did not let me quit the climbing of rocks. There were many potential climbing girlfriends watching. The beautiful flash was of made without fall. After, I made many a bold press of boulders in the dry mountain stream of the Arizona, but of no success was the girlfriend for climbings. Had I be Sven Lavransen, this problem would not problem have been. The bat and I many cheesesteaks have ate together. Bat and me are of many a grand flashes together, climbing friends are we. True story

Oh shit

You had a good run...

Climbing friend

Of assure I do not partake of legacy of Aleks. He and friend Sven Lavransen has many enjoyable difficult flash togethers. I am not flasher of the difficult routes. I do press of the boulders in streams, but the boulders of mine are pebbles for wrestling. Aleks presses of the boulders for real. Many potential climbing girlfriends taken from have me by the Aleks and I respect his difficult flash and womens while the eating of cheesesteaks by myself. I one day make the enjoyable climb of even the 5.12. At now, I
am scared of even looking for the 5.12, while of Aleks upside down he climbs this.

Was about 3/4 of the way up skywalker couliour in the IPW. Switched from climber's left over to the right, and some noob moron idiot fool stumbling around on the talus on top knocked down a mailbox sized rock that fell right where I had been 10 minutes before.

You can imagine I had some choice things to say.