Looking for a laugh? Check out Jive Ass Anchors!

Trolls of the climbing world, unite!

This is probably the funniest (and at the same time, oddly educational) climbing website I've come across. Enjoy!

Jiveass Anchors

Stay safe out there, and stay away from the Jive-Ass anchors!

when they see "jive azz" anchors ...

do they do something positive like go and talk to the folks who set up the anchors and politely try to educate em

or do they just take pics, post em online, and try to feel superior my making fun of em

if they REALLY cared about "safety" they would have done the former, or made an attempt at the very elast

but then that aint as fun and doesnt make me feel superior

;)

From the limited amount of reading I've done so far, it seems the main admin does try and educate folks when he encounters Jive-assery in the field.

That said, a lot of the photos are from reader submissions - so who's to say how often that takes place with other folks.

The analysis is still pretty spot on (and hilarious), without being mean-spirited.

That blog just led me to this one, which is somehow ever crazier: dumbanchors.blogspot.com/

From the most recent post:

"This Jive-Ass rappel set up (abseil set up for the Brits and Aussies among us) was submitted by Drew Smith, who happened upon it at Twin Craigs in the Lake Tahoe region of California. And since a lot of you have expressed concern that we all actually do something to remedy Jive-Ass situations rather than just take photographs of them, I want it noted for the record that, yes, Drew removed this shit so no one would get hurt in the future."

From what I gathered the authors of the blog are also mountaineering guides. It's actually pretty fun to read. One of the photos is from our very own North Chimney on Longs Peak. It's one of those in situ collections of faded webbing, bolts half way out of the rock, and other horrors.

So, don't worry about feeling superior. Just enjoy.

Stone Nude wrote:If you're not out saving the world, you're part of the problem, not the solution. People treat this shit like church. Relax, breathe....

No shit, people are starting to think there's only one way to skin the cat and don't indicate an ability to analyze. I've noticed that Climbing magazine is getting completely ultra-conservative and have lost any ability to indicate flexibility. There's a big difference between best and horrible and the "experts" aren't indicating that.

jive ass anchors
mountainproject.com/v/10611…

For some more hilarious/terrifying results, simply google "terrible climbing anchors"

Not as much witty commentary, but jive-assery abounds....

jamesm wrote: mountainproject.com/v/10611…

looks like anchors I've made in cochise, normal really

Stich wrote:From what I gathered the authors of the blog are also mountaineering guides.

Fwiw, not a guide. From his bio,

"My name is Steve Heikkila, a Portland, Oregon based digital marketing professional, creative thinker, social media enthusiast, vanquisher of chaos, amateur alpine, rock, and ice climber, halfway decent cook, not too shabby writer, and gear geek."

Not sure how good his advice is, either. Here he talks some "stoners" into misusing their ice screw,

"I was able to convince him to clip the hanger on the jive-ass screw rather than sling the exposed shaft."

jive-assanchors.com/2014/01…

Most of the guides around here would have a quiet polite word if they see something really unsafe

If they make a site it would be more informative and polite in tone, not "jive ass"

They are in the customer service bizznizz after all ... The person your talking to might be yr next client, unless you call em "jive ass" and post their anchor photos all over da intrawebz

;)

I don't think the last anchor on that page is actually an example of anything jive ass: it looks fine and like it was done for a reason. But what do I know?

Sometimes you just have to deal with what you have. It's not always possible to have back ups and redundancy. A lot of those Jive Ass anchors on the page I would be thrilled to have in some situations, sometimes you just deal with it.

benkraft wrote: "I was able to convince him to clip the hanger on the jive-ass screw rather than sling the exposed shaft."

I thought slinging the shaft was perfectly acceptable on case of a bottomed-out screw sticking out a bunch? Maybe in this case dude was concerned about the exposed thread chewing up the runner?

Kevin Mokracek wrote:Sometimes you just have to deal with what you have. It's not always possible to have back ups and redundancy. A lot of those Jive Ass anchors on the page I would be thrilled to have in some situations, sometimes you just deal with it.

Fair enough, but something like the picture below is definitely clueless...

How many KN is the helmet rated for? Take a whipper and find out!

All in all I just found the commentary both informative and light-hearted. Doesn't seem to be malicious, and while MMV, it's still entertaining...

Boissal wrote: I thought slinging the shaft was perfectly acceptable on case of a bottomed-out screw sticking out a bunch? Maybe in this case dude was concerned about the exposed thread chewing up the runner?

I think that was his concern, but it's pretty unfortunate he nagged some folks into taking his bad advice. Doubt he's malicious, but he's definitely a bit full of it.

jamesm wrote: mountainproject.com/v/10611…

Been there, done that.

RDW wrote: Fair enough, but something like the picture below is definitely clueless... All in all I just found the commentary both informative and light-hearted. Doesn't seem to be malicious, and while MMV, it's still entertaining...

I did the same thing once, but with a Nalgene. I was totally out of gear and figured that, if I could run over my Nalgene with my Jeep, I could probably fall on it. Right?!

jamesm wrote: mountainproject.com/v/10611…

I don't get the problem on this one. Looks like the best spot for an anchor for a ways around it.

yeah it totally looks solid just looks like its on sandstone is all, its probably a bomber set up. just a funny pic that came up