dumb things non climbers have said

"You rock climb? Do you have those climbing shoes that look like gloves for yor your feet?"

Another:
Me: Why the hell are you wearing those rediculous viabram 5fingers?
My cousin: What are you talking about? These are climbing shoes.

Matt Michael wrote:I swear to God that a lady asked me if I had been doing "much flying" in reference to the crashpad on my back. I gave her a confused look and assumed she meant flying off of crux moves to the ground. She proceeded to ask "that's a hang glider, right?" I was unintentionally rude with my laughing response but couldn't believe that someone actually asked me that question. That's got to be the most ridiculous thing I've personally heard.

My buddy jesse started this thing where we boulder, that when someone asks us "what those things are we are wearing on our backs" - we explain they are Elk Saddles, and that we are going into the forest mount the local animal using them.... (which people believe.. not too surprised though, out in Rhode Island) AND THEN THEY ALL BE LIKE, "..........HUH....."

When I told my grandfather I was climbing cracks he asked me if their was hair on it... and my uncle soon chimed in asking if it was wet inside.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=71X56…

From spending a few days at El Cap Bridge talking to tourists as a volunteer for the "Ask a Climber" program and patiently explaining all of the ins and outs of wall climbing and how the progression from nonclimber to climber occurs, I would say that the dumbest thing heard over and over about climbing (and the most depressing) is when people say, "I could never do that."

Robbie Mackley wrote:"You rock climb? Do you have those climbing shoes that look like gloves for yor your feet?" Another: Me: Why the hell are you wearing those rediculous viabram 5fingers? My cousin: What are you talking about? These are climbing shoes.

With better rubber, I think those could be pretty sweet at the creek for those super thin cracks. My big toe would jam 0.5's like crazy

While working at a climbing gym a man asked me what the best brand of "spool" I would use when climbing. I tried explaining that the heavy steel spools used for top roping in the gym were not used in actual climbing. The man couldn't wrap his head around the concept of climbing without the spools so I finally just told him Black Diamond makes good gear.

Short Beta wrote:My favorites... "Do you use grappling hooks?" "As you go up do you take a hammer and smash holes into the rock to grab?" "Is there tape on the rocks?"

Answer: Sometimes...

Doesn't it hurt when you fall?

Haha dank. Let me know how that works out.

This one was pretty astute for a non-climber: "So, you climb up as high as you can until you're out of rope, and then you do that flippy-flop thing and keep climbing? Like, you keep doing the flippy-flop thing until you get to the top?"

I started rock climbing about 44 years ago in Indiana where I grew up. (There are a few crags there, albeit not very good ones). At that time, climbing was a pretty obscure sport (especially in the Midwest).

We were on our way to climb at Portland Arch in Attica, IN & a local asked what we were doing (curious about our rope). We told her and she looked at us like we were from Mars & said "Why the hell would you want to climb rocks?"

We mumbled something about it being fun but I don't think she got the concept As we talked with her it became apparent that she thought we were just climbing around on piles of loose rock. After we explained she said, "Oh, you're cliff climbers?" and we proudly said "Yup" to which she replied "Well that's a really stupid thing to do!".....

Not that stupid but kind of funny, I had a guy ask me and my climbing partner if we were out scaling the bluffs.

Technically we were but I've never heard it referred to as that.

Out at the crag when a lone hiker carrying enough gear to make a Sherpa cry, stops by and instantly starts to converse with me while I'm attempting to belay my buddy, who keeps laughing as the conversation goes on.
Random Hiker: "Done any free ballin lately?"
Me: "Free ballin?"
Random Hiker: "Yeah climbing without a rope! Do any of that?"
Me: "No, no free ballin at the crag. How about you?"
Random Hiker: "Yea I've climbed 12.5's in a couple different states...with so and so, you know them...I'm so good...blah blah blah..."
Me: "Maybe I can grow up to be half as good as you make yourself out to be, but in the mean time, you feel like showing us your skills that pay the bills?"
Random Hiker: "I would be I've got an old turf toes injury that keeps me grounded, otherwise I'd be up there showing you so real rock moves, plus I'd have to borrow some five fingers to climb in. There the best."

Out at the crag when a lone hiker carrying enough gear to make a Sherpa cry, stops by and instantly starts to converse with me while I'm attempting to belay my buddy, who keeps laughing as the conversation goes on.
Random Hiker: "Done any free ballin lately?"
Me: "Free ballin?"
Random Hiker: "Yeah climbing without a rope! Do any of that?"
Me: "No, no free ballin at the crag. How about you?"
Random Hiker: "Yea I've climbed 12.5's in a couple different states...with so and so, you know them...I'm so good...blah blah blah..."
Me: "Maybe I can grow up to be half as good as you make yourself out to be, but in the mean time, you feel like showing us your skills that pay the bills?"
Random Hiker: "I would be I've got an old turf toes injury that keeps me grounded, otherwise I'd be up there showing you some real rock moves, plus I'd have to borrow some five fingers to climb in. There the best."

Note the climber I'm about to be mentioning climbs v10 in the gym

Gym climber: yea I'm not very competitive I just climb for fun

Me: Me either I just wanna be able to go out and climb some of the classic problems Sharma, Graham, and Kehl put up

Gym climber: Put up? Like they went up to the rock and like hammered or drilled holds in so they could climb it?

Me(looking puzzled): umm no like they got the first ascent and named and graded the problem.

Gym climber: oh, how do they know what holds to use if no one has climbed it

Me : no comment

I compete and every single time I tell people that they ask "is it how fast you get up the wall?" I also get "so do you rappel or go up?"
Other favorites:
"Why aren't you wearing your climbing shoes? Aren't you biking to the gym?"
"Why isn't the rope already at the top of the wall?" (concerning sport climbing)
"What's in the backpack?" (about my crash pad)

And the killer,
"Wait, they have indoor gyms for this stuff?"

Short Beta wrote:My favorites... "Do you use grappling hooks?" "As you go up do you take a hammer and smash holes into the rock to grab?" "Is there tape on the rocks?"

Short Beta needs to aid climb more.

Tonight at rei. I asked to see their guidebooks for climbing. Employee asks what location so I said rmnp. His response was, I didn't know people climbed there.

The other day my (non-climbing) buddy was explaining to me why, as a climber, I should choose Keystone Light over other budget beers. His points were fairly valid.
•It's cheap.

• So are all budget beers.

•It's brewed in CO by Coors.

• Fair enough.

•It's hunting season, and they came out with the Real Tree Camo Can!

• What does that have to do with climbing?

•Now it will blend in when you litter at the crag!

He was completely joking. He knows I prefer PBR.
-Mackley