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Dumb things other climbers have said

Brian Snider · · NorCal · Joined Mar 2010 · Points: 732

At the gym the other night.
"Yo bro, where did you get those tights?

BigNobody · · all over, mostly Utah · Joined Nov 2013 · Points: 10

"When I used to guide (insert extreme sport)"

Has been's are the worst.

Keith Boone · · Henderson, NV · Joined Jul 2013 · Points: 492

Everything they post on the forum threads about bolt ethics....... Climb safe

Rogerlarock Mix · · Nedsterdam, Colorado · Joined Sep 2008 · Points: 5

@Jurrasic near Estes a couple show up with about five or six kids (5 or 6 thru maybe 12-13).

dad's setting up the TR. mom starts yelling at him about how the cord isn't running right. dad looks down at mom and says (this is a direct quote) "Honey, safety isn't the issue here!"

We quietly packed our bags and got out of there.

Emmanuel B · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2013 · Points: 10

I've heard many dumb things and here are 2 that come to my mind.

At the gym, these 2 guys are leading this overhanging route that has a dyno right in the middle. Leader goes up, seems to shake quite a bit. Gets below the 3d bolt and he's not sure. I look at his belayer and it seems that his grigri is not rigged properly. No time to say anything, the climber goes for it and falls, to the ground (thankfully it's padded). Both of them are confused. They check the grigri, and guess what? Rigged backwards.
Climber seems ok. He decides to go back up. His belayer fixes the grigri. He gets below the 4th bolt, doesn't clip it and goes for the dyno that he misses. He falls without touching the ground but gets past his belayer who gets yanked up.
Me: you know there was a draw just before the dyno?
Climber: what draw?
Belayer (looking up): what draw are we talking about?

Other one, outside this time, in Red Rocks, NV. We were a party of three and I was standing around while my buddy was on a route, with my girlfriend belaying him. Here comes this guy on his own. He says hi, says he's a local. Becuase my buddy is struggling a bit, he's offering some beta and seems to be experienced. Later, my buddy is higher up on the route and the guy wants to climb.
Him (asking me): can you give me a catch? Do you know how to belay?
Me: sure

The guy gets a few quickdraws from his bag and then ties in.
Me: do you have enough draws? Do you know how many bolts there are?
Him: no, I don't know. Probably once I get up there, I'll tell you I am running out of draws (he starts laughing)

He starts climbing, gets to the first clip (10-15 feet up) and then looks at me.
Him: hey, is your grigri rigged properly?
Me: huh? (thinking it's about time to ask me this)

Then he goes up, seems comfortable. And then, near the top:
Him (not very happy with the situation): you were right, I am running out of draws!

Rockbanned brett · · Plattsburgh, Ny · Joined Dec 2011 · Points: 215
Brian Snider wrote:Luckly I was already drinking and I kept thinking she might get naked.
+1 to that dude. I probably would have paid to watch her make that whole video nekkid... heh heh heh
Matt N · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2010 · Points: 415
" a world class destination for the indoor climbing "
Kingk · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Apr 2013 · Points: 0

What a great thread for killing some time! 17 pages later and I’m ready to add my story.

Climbing at North Table one afternoon, I had just finished leading a route and my buddy was starting up on TR. A kid (probably mid-teens) and his father come walking up the hill carrying a brand new rope (still in the manufacturers packaging and everything) and looking very enthusiastic about using it. I start up some small talk with them as they pick out the route they want to climb and unwrap that shinny new rope of theirs. I don’t remember the exact conversation but basically the kid had recently gotten into climbing and had convinced his dad to come give it a try too. A few minutes later my buddy has finished his climb and is back on the ground. We sort of realize these guys are watching what we’re doing pretty closely, giving us a second hint that they may not know what they’re doing. We pull the rope and are about to move on to a new area, giving this father son duo a standard “have fun, climb safe” type farewell when the kid stops us to ask “So, how do you get the rope to the top to start”…

We tried to be helpful in explaining to them how they could walk around and set a TR but in doing so we quickly realized these guys had no draws, slings, carabiners or anything, just a rope (and harnesses to be fair).

Kurt G · · Monticello, UT · Joined Nov 2012 · Points: 156

I work at a local gym and have had many humorous comments and questions but one that always stuck out to me was when I had a kid that was trying to get started on our boulder wall and was having a difficult time and so he ran off and re-appeared a few moments later and exclaimed to me that he got his hands good and wet in the bathroom so he could get a better grip and finish his climb.
I cant fault him since he didn't know any better but I couldn't help but laugh a little.

Jimbo · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2006 · Points: 1,310

Me to my climbing buddy as he is belaying someone we have never climbed with before: So is that new narcolepsy med working better than the old one??

Me every time I see someone struggling on a sport route: Be careful we loose a lot of climbers on that route every year.

Me as someone climbs a new route we have put up: Boy we sure saved a bunch of money using those pewter bolts instead of stainless didn't we!!

Ryan G · · San Diego · Joined Oct 2006 · Points: 275
YDPL8S wrote:I was at a party standing around with a bunch of high testosterone guys and of course the topic turned to sports, and then which ones were the hardest. One of my friends casually asked me, by way of a lead in, "don't you rock climb?" Before I could answer, an outdoorsman type, that drives an offroad 4-wheeler with a case of beer in the back on the weekends and has his keys suspended from his beltloop on a locking carabiner, chimed in. "Rock climbing is just pulling yourself up on equipment you pound in the rock, the true skill comes in rappelling!"....he said with a superior air as he puffed on his Marlboro and quaffed another Bud Lite.
Marlboros and Bud Light, or its equalivalent, have fueled and continue to fuel many a good alpine climbers...just saying.
evolve · · Durango, CO · Joined Sep 2013 · Points: 250
BDergay wrote:Few years ago in Durango, I'm talking with this girl, who I thought was still somewhat new to climbing... but then she starts rambling off an impressive list of routes she's "free-sol'd" I'm thinking to myself, "holy s#*t, this chick is RAD!" I was 100% blown away that this cute girl has been bouldering out some techie sandstone routes.. totally under the radar of any of us durangotans! So we make a date to go climbing, and she turns out to be a total gumby! Total gumby. During beers after wards, I asked her how did she solo x, y and z, when she seemed to flail hard trying to following a 5.6 that day?? "Free solo?" She replied, "No - I said "free-sol'd" I was barefoot when I top-roped those climbs I mentioned before" Oh..............
haha, classic Durango! My contribution:

Bystander: "You're going to let him belay you, we've [him and the belayer] been drinking for the last three hours!?"
Belayer: "That's what a GriGri is for."
Pete Cutler · · Des Moines, IA · Joined Apr 2012 · Points: 5

At devils tower last weekend. Tourist asks us the typical four questions that everyone asks.
1) are you rock climbers? Yes.
2) how long does it take to get to the top? A couple hrs.
3) what's up there? A coffee shop and hot springs.
4) how do you get those ropes up there?

Then my buddy launches into this elaborate description of this "three pronged hook thing" that you throw up above you. The tourist replies, " like a grappling hook! Wow! Like James Bond! Cool!" Then takes a picture with my buddy and the climbing rack, says he's gonna use it as his Christmas card.

Moritz B. · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2013 · Points: 185

One time in the Black Velvet Canyon in Red Rocks I heard a guy scream:

"NOT OFF Belay!"

Zach Joing · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jul 2011 · Points: 85

Belayer: Oh shit! Wait, come back down. I'm clipped into my leg loop!

Suburban Roadside · · Abovetraffic on Hudson · Joined Apr 2014 · Points: 2,419

'DUMB THINGS OTHER CLIMBERS HAVE SAID'

rob.calm · · Loveland, CO · Joined May 2002 · Points: 630
Moritz B. wrote:One time in the Black Velvet Canyon in Red Rocks I heard a guy scream: "NOT OFF Belay!"
I've had the same experience twice while belaying partners. It happens. If I'm out with new climbers, I usually tell them not to do that.

r.c
Bill Kirby · · Keene New York · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 480

Three of us were climbing up Chouinard's Right last winter.. Chouniard's Gully had a long line so we did the right side. We were at the top of the first pitch which had a great view of the adjacent route. A leader who's climbing up the headwall gets hit with ice from above. The guy yells "Please stop dropping ice on me!". I felt a little bad when he heard all of us laugh at him.

Bill Rusk · · Rochester, MN · Joined Dec 2007 · Points: 770

Overhead at the gym:
"Outdoors you have to bring your own quickdraws and clip them in before you can clip the rope. It makes the climb like 3 times harder"

Joe L 82 · · PA · Joined Aug 2013 · Points: 735

Some climber from the top of 70' wall after 15lbs of rope slams into the ground a few feet from me.

"Heads up, rope!"

In my head (Pretty sure you say that before it hits the ground but what do I know?..)

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

General Climbing
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