climbing trip of a lifetime!

This is a funny coincidence. I'm also looking for a female partner for the climbing trip of a lifetime. Well not a trip, really. Actually multiple trips to the Gunks from New York City.

I have so much to offer. I will drive and pay for gas. I will pay for meals at the Sloatsburg rest stop and maybe sometimes at Mexicali Blue. I will also cover the hourly rates as we incur them at the Motel 87.

You just have to belay me (on the occasions on which we actually make it to the cliffs), and keep our little arrangement on the down-low, if you get my drift. My wife doesn't need to know about this.

I could tell you all about my climbing prowess but really, who cares, right?

Please send me a photo and we can talk.

NOTE: The above is satire, not a serious offer. But you can still send me a photo.

So who wants to be Johns hor?

John Shor wrote:EMAIL: shor.algorithm@gmail.com I'm looking for a female climbing partner for the summer of 2014. I will be travelling in a camper van all over western Canada climbing at all the quality crags and mountains, including Squamish, Skaha, the Bugaboos, Lake Louise, and the Rockies (don't worry, I know where the good rock is out there!). Although an avid climber, I am also an entrepreneur with considerable business ventures to maintain, so I will need maximum free time to work online. That's where you come in! In return for me paying ALL and expenses (food, gas, propane, etc), you will handle the chores of day-to-day living, such as preparing dinner (I only eat one type of food, so it's easy), doing laundry, grocery shopping, washing dishes, filling up water bottles, etc. When we're not climbing, your job will be to save me time so I can work on my laptop. You save money, I save time, and we both become better climbers! As for the climbing itself, I know all the areas and can show you the classics. I can lead most routes up to 5.12 trad and 5.13 sport and I don't mind doing all the leading, or following you on your projects. I'm not a greedy climber or a grade chaser. I love to climb any fun route, whether it's 5.8 or 5.12. And I mostly climb in the 5.9-5.11 range for trad. Beyond that I may get scared :-) You should be able to follow up to 5.10+/5.11-, but we will be doing a lot of cragging in the early spring, so your skill level will rise in a hurry. The summer of 2014 I will only be climbing in Canada, but if our partnership works out, then I would also be open to replicating the arrangement on a big climbing tour in the States and possibly around the world. I have essentially unlimited funds and (almost) unlimited time to climb! Ticklist for Canadian climbing in summer of 2014: Squamish Skaha Lake Louise Bugaboos Gimli Slesse Bugaboos (Beckey-Chouinard, McTech Arete, Snowpatch Spire, Sunshine Crack) Canmore (East End of Rundle, Echo Canyon, Grassi Lakes, etc) Ghost River Tantalus Range Chehalis Range - maybe, but long approaches :-( Lotus Flower Tower - maybe! would be amazingly fun EMAIL: shor.algorithm@gmail.com

John Shor wrote:I have essentially unlimited funds and (almost) unlimited time to climb!

ObviousTroll wrote: Seriously though, what do you do for a living?

Broke homeless male climber seeking full time female climbing babe/ slave/ assistant to support me indefinitely. Must have a career, reliable car, and apartment. I don't have a job but i get like 200/ mo in food stamps and can house you in my 1996 chevy tahoe for romantic weekend getaways ;) I know you're out there!!!!!

Damienn wrote:Broke homeless male climber seeking full time female climbing babe/ slave/ assistant to support me indefinitely. Must have a career, reliable car, and apartment. I don't have a job but i get like 200/ mo in food stamps and can house you in my 1996 chevy tahoe for romantic weekend getaways ;) I know you're out there!!!!!

I want to be this guy. who could resist THAT?! a rich rope gun?! Classy to im sure! dang dude your gonna need a bigger van for all the betty's that are gonna jump on this. maybe a bus... good god man.

I want an update :) did you ever find someone? would you consider shemales?

I think the OP changed his name from Ted Bundy after escaping prison! Make sure door handles on his vehicle are still intact!