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need advice for finding partners

Original Post
scarenbauer · · boulder, co · Joined Nov 2012 · Points: 0

hi,
I just moved to boulder from vail and have been trad climbing a few times with a guide friend but I'm not sure what the best way to find a consistent partner is. I climb in gyms when I have to but really prefer the outdoors. I'm just starting out which is why I think it's hard for people to want to go with me. any advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks!

NickinCO · · colorado · Joined Sep 2010 · Points: 155

if you're a chick, pictures will help ;) Honestly though it will, have you tried meeting anyone at the gym and climbing outside? I've taught a lot of beginners that don't stay interested long. You need to show you're committed.

scarenbauer · · boulder, co · Joined Nov 2012 · Points: 0

I've tried, just seems like everyone I meet is more interested in climbing inside. I am much more interested in climbing real rocks, but just love the feeling of making it to the top. I'm definitely committed but it's hard to keep going when there's nobody to go with!

randy88fj62 · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2010 · Points: 291

In socal we have plenty of groups like the southern california mountaneering association, caltech alpine club, and socal climbers via meetup.

I would suggest joining a mountaineering club or climbing club in your area. You will definitely find partners that way. And there MUST be climbing / mountaineering clubs in CO.

NickinCO · · colorado · Joined Sep 2010 · Points: 155
randy88fj62 wrote:In socal we have plenty of groups like the southern california mountaneering association, caltech alpine club, and socal climbers via meetup. I would suggest joining a mountaineering club or climbing club in your area. You will definitely find partners that way. And there MUST be climbing / mountaineering clubs in CO.
CMC has a boulder group.

cmcboulder.org/

Might be worth checking out?

I can recommend to stay AWAY from the "meetup" groups though
Scott McMahon · · Boulder, CO · Joined Feb 2006 · Points: 1,425

I've tried, just seems like everyone I meet is more interested in climbing inside.quote>

Really? I despise the gym and only go when forced by mother nature.

You must be meeting people in the indoor "scene".

NickinCO · · colorado · Joined Sep 2010 · Points: 155
Scott McMahon wrote:I've tried, just seems like everyone I meet is more interested in climbing inside.quote> Really? I despise the gym and only go when forced by mother nature. You must be meeting people in the indoor "scene".
When I first moved out here I went to BRC a lot (I lived 3 blocks away). There are definitely a lot of "indoor climber only types" usually not interested in the actual climbing just fitness.
mark felber · · Wheat Ridge, CO · Joined Jul 2005 · Points: 41

The partner forum/bulletin board on this website is actually a pretty good resource. Pick a day when you want to climb and post a message asking for partners on that day.
It might not hurt to pick a fairly easy climb with a short approach for your first climb with someone. That way if things don't work out you can bail without too much trouble.

scarenbauer · · boulder, co · Joined Nov 2012 · Points: 0

thanks for all the info! super helpful.

Mina123 · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2014 · Points: 0

I totally understand you. I have the same problem. Got addicted to climbing 4 months ago and my partner recently just ditched me for another chick (even though I'm a girl too). Now I'm stuck by myself trying to find some people, but everybody seemed to be with partners already or are too experienced and it is not fun for them to climb with me (even though I climb 10.a/b already)
And meetup don't help either :(
Just don't want to stop climbing because of that.

Ryan Watts · · Bishop, CA · Joined Apr 2013 · Points: 25

Use MP. Also try bouldering outdoors and talking to people there.

I used to live in Boulder and 0% of my partners came from the gym.

Thomas Beck · · Las Vegas, Nevada · Joined Feb 2006 · Points: 1,025

yep... find outdoor climbers outdoors. I assume you asked your guide friend to connect you? You might ask in the local climbing shop.

On consistency..if I call someone 3 times to go climbing and they prevaricate or have something else going on in their life, then I move them way back on the call list. Doesn't matter if they are climbing hard, look nice or whatever. They don't match me in my aspirations.

About 35 years ago I remember hanging out in Eldo looking for partners and nobody would give me the time of day. I thought that place was ultra cliquey. Then I went climbing with my local friends Dan and Jim Michaels and suddenly I was someone OK to say hello to.

Posting for partners is risky. I do it and I am a self confessed climbing slut. But I've got 40 years of experience. Never believe without seeing what someone tells you is their leading grade.

Someone suggested a short climb and short approach with a new partner...second that. I personally don't do anything first time I can't solo...

Just walk up and ask... which takes a bit of courage; be truthful about your experience. Look them in the eye and be honest with yourself what your goals are.

Always treat your partners with respect and deference and insist on the same treatment (be on time, flake the rope, provide an attentive belay, ask question beforehand and discuss the logistics if needed...I'm gonna lower you from the anchors? for instance. Never schedule an unbreakable appointment at the end of what you anticipate is a climbing day.

Even if you don't particularly like your new partner, treat them well. Word gets around fast if you trash talk on someone.

Once you make a climbing date don't break it to climb with someone who leads higher grades and climbs harder or you like better. That is the fastest way I know to get a bad reputation.

Mina123 · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2014 · Points: 0

I live in MA so it is not time to go outdoors right now. But i will try to as soon as it becomes warm.
My ex-partner should read your comments here as it is completely applies to him.

Thanks. I definitely will be causious about posting and trusting new partners.

David House · · Boulder, CO · Joined Nov 2001 · Points: 453

Scarenbauer: A couple of tips: If you want to meet partners on MP fill in your profile a bit, tick climbs you have done, list some favorites, describe your climbing goals.
Provide gear: Aside your your own shoes/harness/belay device/helmet buy a rope at least.
Be a good belayer, especially in belaying a leader. No short-roping, not too much slack, pay attention.
Be a good follower: Carry your share of the gear on approaches, don't make people wait for you while you are putting on your harness, changing your shoes etc. Be appreciative and no complaining!
Even if you are interested in trad routes, I would suggest you get into sport climbing as well. Single pitch sport is an easy way to check out new partners in a more controlled environment. Hang out at Table in the winter and the Canal Zone in the summer and you can meet potential partners. Those are pretty social climbing areas where you can meet and chat with people who are into outdoor climbing. After work bouldering on Flagstaff or Sanitas is another good way to meet climbers who are less gym focused. If you do go to the gym, I would recommend the Spot as the most social environment, people tend to go to Movement or BRC with partners and be less open to chatting.

rgold · · Poughkeepsie, NY · Joined Feb 2008 · Points: 526

Here's my take. (Some people might view parts of it as self-serving, but there's nothing I can do about that.)

Join a gym and try to go regularly. You will inevitably meet people that way, and not all of them climb indoors exclusively.

Look for older men and women who appear to be reasonably fit. These people are likely to be experienced (although there are no guarantees and there is the perpetual beginner syndrome to worry about), and if they have already had long careers, they are more likely to be open to casual days out that you'd fit in to as a newcomer. Hard-charging younger folks with a climbing agenda and tick list won't want to be slowed down by a beginner. They may take you along but may also drag you up whatever they feel like doing without any thought about what is appropriate for you. We've all seen the miserable scenes that ensue from that dynamic.

So get yourself invited to climb with the the old fogies in the gym---it isn't hard, just ask them a question about some aspect of climbing. You'll get an idea from how they answer you what type of people they are and may well get an invitation to join them in their gym activities, which is the first step.

Then comes the issue of how to get asked back for a second date. Here are a few tips.

(1) Above all, be a competent and attentive belayer. Handle the ropes correctly, keep your eyes on the leader, and DON'T CHAT.

(2) Expedition mentality: see what needs to be done and do it; don't sit around uselessly while other people take care of things for you. Help with pulling rappels and coiling ropes, restack ropes at belays while the leader is re-racking, recover shoes left at the base of routes, etc. It doesn't hurt to have delicious snacks in your pack you can share.

(3) Proper and efficient handling of gear for trad climbing is essential. Learn to clean gear efficiently and use procedures that guarantee you don't drop it. (If you do drop gear, you should replace it. But really---don't drop it.) Arriving at the belay with gear tangled and clipped all over the place is bad. Get a single over-the shoulder sling and clip all cleaned gear to that, so that the sling can just be passed over to the leader. Do not disassemble trad quick draws. Full-length runners can be carried over-the-shoulder. Never unclip a bunch of stuff and hand it over to the leader as a fistfull.

(4) If at all possible, learn as much as you can about safe, proper, and efficient rappelling in the gym, before you have to do it outside.

(5) Especially if you don't go out with the old fogies, you may find yourself on routes beyond your abilities, and you should have some strategies for getting out of trouble if you can't do the moves. In some cases, it could come down to hopefully no more than a short prussik ascent of the rope. Again, if at all possible, learn how to do this in the gym and then remember to have enough stuff with you to do it on a climb if you have to.

I'm not listing this, but there's nothing the matter with learning some self-rescue techniques. Just understand that in order to actually use them in the field you have to be much more experienced, and even even for experienced people many, perhaps most, of the techniques aren't going to work as practiced and improvisation will be critical. That said, it makes sense not to go to remote places where help will be hard to get with people you don't know.

Once you've learned a bunch of stuff from the old fogies, it will be time to head out with younger more ambitious climbers, at least if you want to raise your ability level with increasingly challenging climbing.

NickinCO · · colorado · Joined Sep 2010 · Points: 155

realize this thread is over a year old?

rgold · · Poughkeepsie, NY · Joined Feb 2008 · Points: 526

The previous five posts to mine are all recent---I was replying to them.

Eric Chabot · · Salt Lake City, UT · Joined Jul 2011 · Points: 45
rgold wrote: (2) Expedition mentality: see what needs to be done and do it; don't sit around uselessly while other people take care of things for you. Help with pulling rappels and coiling ropes, restack ropes at belays while the leader is re-racking, recover shoes left at the base of routes, etc. It doesn't hurt to have delicious snacks in your pack you can share.
This!!!
Tim Stich · · Colorado Springs, Colorado · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 1,520

Mina replied only a few hours ago, so the thread once again is resurrected. Good luck finding some good partners, Mina. I think you'll do fine.

Eliot Augusto · · Lafayette, CO · Joined Dec 2013 · Points: 60

Do people really get annoyed waiting 2-3 minutes to change shoes?

If so, they really need to untwist those panties.

Eric Chabot · · Salt Lake City, UT · Joined Jul 2011 · Points: 45
Eliot Augusto wrote:Do people really get annoyed waiting 2-3 minutes to change shoes? If so, they really need to untwist those panties.
Fair question, 2-3 minutes is not long, but over the course of the day these things do add up.

When climbing with an efficient, experienced partner it is easy to get 10 pitches of climbing in a day at Rumney (local for me).

When climbing with n00bs who lollygag around all day and take a million years to do everything I am lucky to get 4.

So when I commit an entire day/weekend and make the drive to trad climb at a cliff like cannon or cathedral, I wanna get in more than 4 pitches. Just sayin.

Rereading this before posting I come off as a self-righteous jerkoff internet hardman, which is not my intention. We must nurture the noobs. At the end of the day, people get different things out of climbing: if you wanna chill at the crag, climb 2 pitches and then go grab a beer find some people who are on the same page...if you wanna climb a lot find people who are stoked to climb a lot.
Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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