Good Climbing jokes

How do you know it's ice climbing season in Canada?
All the local fast food places are out of jellies.

What does Vivica Jones and a bad rash have in common? They're BOTH annoying as hell.

"if all else fails, just dyno"

must....keep.....thread....alive!

The Flying Dutchman wrote: Any trad climber can climb at his trad lead level on any bolted rout. Take a sport climber, put him at his limit on a trad climb, and you are guaranteed to see him freeze up and shit his pants. Grade for grade, trad packs a bigger punch.

What bloody nonsense. Oh sorry, this is a joke thread.

^^^true, trad climbing is just like top roping...or you just have to be in denial....like all the time.

Best ones so far are the light bulb ones toward the beginning, ones regarding bouldering and Boulderites...funny!

My favorite was the passat joke.

This one's pretty good:

youtube.com/watch?v=TyrM7Gx…

Q:How many boulderers does it take to send a V7 in the gym?

A: Six, one to climb it and five to sit around and talk about the one time they climbed outside.

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"Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a rock climber!"

• Sigh* "Well, son, you can't do both..."

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Dissatisfied with his smarts, a man went into a store to buy a new brain. In the store he found a jar labeled: "Trad Climber Brain: $100." Another said "Sport Climber Brain: $500." A third jar said "Boulderer brain: $10,000."

The man asked the salesman why the boulderer brain was so expensive.

The salesman exclaimed "Because it's never been used!"

• I told this joke at the gym once and some clever girl who was eavesdropping jumped in right before the punchline and exclaimed "Comes with a free beanie!!!"

People who climb, but bash sub-genres of climbing. Now that's the real joke.

I like the one about the brains!

MP threads these days.

The funniest part is calling it all climbing.

i once climbed 2 miles at level 7 on the stair master in the 24 hr fitness at colorado and alameda with a steady heart rate of 140 bpm. I had to stop early because it looked like rain, so I ran to the covered bus stop so I could catch the 3. Almost epiced.

Jon Zucco wrote:i once climbed 2 miles at level 7 on the stair master in the 24 hr fitness at colorado and alameda with a steady heart rate of 140 bpm. I had to stop early because it looked like rain, so I ran to the covered bus stop so I could catch the 3. Almost epiced.

Some dude here epics at skate parks ...like all the time! That's siiiick!

That's the word on the streets...

I think I just got the Passsatt joke. Carry on...

youtube.com/watch?v=r5sxCuc…

I hear something more like this:

Dissatisfied with his smarts, a man went into a store to buy a new brain. In the store he found a jar labeled: "Trad Climber Brain: $100 per pound." Another said "Sport Climber Brain: $500 per pound" A third jar said "Boulderer brain: $10,000 per pound." The man asked the salesman why the boulderer brain was so expensive. The salesman said "Do you have any idea how many boulderers we have to have in order to get ONE POUND of brain?"

Funny ^^^!
So is soloing kinda like bouldering but way better?