Need SAS mercenary team.

I'm a pastor in Colorado Springs and I need an experienced mercenary team to retrieve some hostages in Burma. Jackaninnies need not apply. Preference given to UK operatives, others will be evaluated on a case by case basis.

Pay: DOE + 50k

P.S. Access to nitro a plus in case of crevice rescue. Team must include one demolition expert, one sniper and one guy that's really good with knives and stuff.

Anybody worth their operator beard knows that it has to be a chick what's good wif knives.

I like your spelling, you're hired.

Be at Nip & Tuck with babes & a white rose in your harness.

I'll be in touch...

Do you have room for a cook?
I make a mean powdered sugar doughnut and gummy worms omelet for breakfast.
I've also held a Burmese python once before!

I'm good with a utility knife, sledgehammers and bb guns

Medical staff? I've got a 25 yr. expired EMT certificate...and experience in base camp defense from rabid animals with assorted weapons.

I've got a Red Baron Snoopy coffee cup

I did my PHD on detonations and I'll look super rad on camera if you wanna make it into a movie? Sound good?

I have the number to rock n resole. Sounds like we have a decent crew.

SavageMarmot wrote:Access to nitro a plus in case of crevice rescue.

Being that Burma is most noted for its glaciated peaks.

Small crevice + a little nitro = instant offwidth.
I'll be swinging by REI later this morning to cash my dividend in on some pellet shot for my wrist rocket.
Then I'll be good to go...

Dammit, this discrimination against jackaninies needs to stop.

Fyi, we jackaninies can, and will, go. .... Full Retard.

I have a loaded weapon. I usually use it to stab the wife repeatedly. However, she's not dead yet. Guess I'll have to try again;).

I'm the Donnie Donowitz of raccoon killing.

You can do so much with a Louisville slugger and a headlamp.

I have a pith helmet and I will eat almost anything. I won't tip anyone off when we are asked to eat monkey or puppy..... as long as its fresh.

Jake Jones wrote:If not, pink-misting some poor Burmese bastard after trekking ungodly distances with all those bugs and sweat and blisters doesn't sound like my idea of a good time.