Dumb things other climbers have said

Me: "Guess if I cant do it "john" will be our rope gun.
Friend: "Wait, HE HAS A ROPE GUN!?!?"

Chris Price wrote:I once heard someone tell another climber that he took a huge whipper... in the gym... on top rope!

That's possible if he was climbing 30ft off route...with a lot of slack...

lady : FFA what's the future, farmers, of america, ? have to do with climbing?

"I just used my hammock slap straps last time i built an anchor....theyre both rated at 300 lbs so its totally fine..."

whaaaaaaa...

"Don't worry, I will just climb and walk you through a lead belay as we go"

Jeff Chrisler wrote: If you and your buddy can only think of this to say when the common crash pad question is asked, I worry about you. Perhaps watching some Monty Python will help your humor. Common responses I enjoy utilizing: 1. We are moose wranglers. This 'hear contraption is a moose saddle. Giddy up. 2. We just make sure these are affixed to our backs so if we fall, we'll have a nice padded fall onto the pad instead of breaking our backs. 3. This is a mattress. Me and my buddy [insert male name here] and headed out to a nice spot in the woods to hump. 4. After a nice hike, we enjoy a nice nap. It's about siesta time.

Those aren't anywhere near Monty Python quality quotes. The only thing remotely close to Python is the moose reference. Which proves one thing. You've seen Holy Grail.

Erik-Pikas wrote: A guy did this same thing last week on a route that I put up, only there were no other climbers around to save him from himself, only his belayer and an inexperienced friend below. He went 60 feet to the ground. It did not work out well for him. A volunteer firefighter who participated in the rescue tried to describe the accident to me later. He said that a guy had been rock climbing, and "slipped and fell" He told me that the climber sustained a severe head injury "despite having all the PPE" =(personal protective equipment) (which consisted of a helmet and harness sans rope.) Now I feel absolutely terrible for putting up sport routes. But who climbs 60 feet into the air, and then decides that maybe this is a good time to untie without being clipped to anything? The anchor is 1/2 inch ss power bolts and chains. I'm sick over it, but I guess that's like a construction worker being upset when there is a car crash on a straight stretch of road that he built.

.

Sorry to hear that you're so upset man. You sound like a good dude to be that heart broken over some guy who didn't know what the hell he was doing. Totally not your fault though. As climbers we're responsible for taking the time to learn the correct and SAFE techniques and practices we'll be using when out enjoying ourselves, and to make sure our partners are also safe and doing things right. There's always going to be some asshole who doesn't take the time, and this guy wasn't one of the lucky ones. Good vibes to you though man. And your location says Upstate NY. Where the route you put up?

I left my gear on _________________________

It is a __________________ and a _________________ and some _________________

Can someone give it back...

Dude toproping a WI3-4 on a busy Saturday in the Ice park gets to the steep part at the top, looks down to his belayer with death grips on both tools and ass drooping and yells very loudly and very clearly: I_WANT_TO_COME_ON_YOU!

Everybody with in 75 feet is looking at each other with the "did he just say what I think he said" look until dude realizes what he said and they all burst out into laughter! :)

zenetopia wrote:At the Challenge Buttress in SLC for a quick burn after work, the group next to us... Man goes through a quick run down of how to lead belay with the woman he was with and started climbing quickly, skipping placements and running it out. We continue with our climbing, trying not to pay attention... Man finishes the climb and sets the anchor: "Ok, (insert woman's name here), you got me?" "Um..." she stutters... "I don't know." Needless to say, this got our attention. We look over, and the rope is a tangled snake-mess around her legs and body, and somehow (how!?), we see that the man wasn't on belay the entire time. We had to run over there and re-thread her ATC and belay off of her, for her.... 'I DON'T KNOW' - the most dangerous phrase in our reality...

Better to be honest and admit you don't know than to just say "yes". Her "I don't know" probably saved the climber's life because you heard it and ran over. Not that it's ok tha this situation arose, but it's better than lying that you know when you don't.

Last summer I was climbing at the parking lot wall over at Rumney, and was a bit past my second bolt, trying to get past the crux, when my hand slipped off and, despite being about a foot above my last bolt, found myself decking (my feet touched the ground but my belayer caught me before the rest of me could deck). I looked at my belayer, since this was a 15 foot fall that should have been a 5 foot fall, and he just says "Oh, sorry, I didn't think you were going to fall".

When I'm being lowered in the gym I usually yell "ROCK"! People have more of a tendency to move out of the way. In the winter I yell "ICE"!

^---But they only take you serious with the proper beanie.

"OFF RAPPEL!!!"

Climber #1 "This is a trad climb right?"
Climber #2 "No its bolted, so technically its a sport route."
Climber #1 "OK so I probably don't need a helmet right?"
Climber #2 "Yeah you should be fine"

Happened at Suicide rock at the base of the north face.

Me and my buddy were climbing when a group of four guys came and set up next to us. We talked a little bit and learned that only one of them had experience climbing outdoors and the other three were along for the ride.

Later me and my partner moved to climb in a different area and we could see those guys swimming not too far from the base of our climb. It was a windy day so it was hard to communicate and as I neared the top of the second pitch on lead I hear "off belay". Obviously I didn't say it and I hear my belayer say "you're off". After a quick panic attack and a slur of yelling "ON BELAY!!!" I discovered that one of those inexperienced jerks thought it would be funny to yell commands up to us. We had a rather heated conversation with them on our way out...

Stanley McKnight wrote:Me and my buddy were climbing when a group of four guys came and set up next to us. We talked a little bit and learned that only one of them had experience climbing outdoors and the other three were along for the ride. Later me and my partner moved to climb in a different area and we could see those guys swimming not too far from the base of our climb. It was a windy day so it was hard to communicate and as I neared the top of the second pitch on lead I hear "off belay". Obviously I didn't say it and I hear my belayer say "you're off". After a quick panic attack and a slur of yelling "ON BELAY!!!" I discovered that one of those inexperienced jerks thought it would be funny to yell commands up to us. We had a rather heated conversation with them on our way out...

Oh man dude. I just got sweaty palms reading that. I would punched the guy in the throat.

[in the comment section of a route page]

"onsight freesolo"

this thread is great.

i marvel not only at the slew of idiotic quotes, but at the astonishment of the intelligent. i also find it interesting, how many people are willing to intervene when said idiots are making potentially fatal mistakes. humans are the only species of the animal or plant kingdoms, that will take actions to impede an otherwise natural death...or nature, as it were.

gravity is real. idiots are real. simply ensure the two don't meet on top of your head...
that's all that's owed to the order of things...

or...

gravity is a bear. idiots are slow. you can't outrun a bear, so we need idiots to feed to the bear.

Ben Brotelho wrote:"OFF RAPPEL!!!"

Ummm...I yell this rather than have my partner start rapping on the line when I'm still on it.

And this is my favorite ongoing thread!!