A Pocket

removed

Frankly I don't get the Amy Winehouse breast comment - although generally references to reasonably shaped breasts (or pictures) are a plus.

Interesting beginning; I'd like to see where it goes. But most women's clothes don't have pockets. Or not ones worth a shit. Pisses my daughters off all the time.

My condolences on your loss.

I would like to hear your thoughts on the pockets on baby clothing. What up with that?

After the death of my grandpa, I was blown away by the neat order in which his bathroom items were lined up so perfectly and by the stubble still in his electric razor. The irony that he had anticipated using these items again and that the items still lay obediently and expectantly in wait was somehow powerful for me. His stubble seemed so small and insignificant, but it was really one of the only physical remnants of his existence.

SOmetimes its the little things that are more powerful. Even most of the time maybe.

Condolences, and good luck with your writing. Develop thick skin.

You have a great style to your writing, not to say that I am by any means an expert on the subject but I really like it. I checked out your profile and that is excellent as well, I particularly like the Hemingway quote!
Condolences and luck to you.

Skinny legs,
My condolences on your loss.
I don't imagine the life of a writer to be easy and I would guess it takes tremendous passion, courage and committment. Just putting yourself out here probably took some courage. I would also imagine that there is a discipline to living a writer's life that is carefully balanced with the maintenance and sustaining of creative impulses, habits and senses. Its certainly something I'm not capable of.
I say this from a place of wanting to help-- if you are directing potential editors and publishers to your profile make sure that there are no mispellings and be sure it showcases you. I would also suggest St.Exupery to you and his idea that less is more. I think some of your sentences could be more powerful if you removed some of the unnecessary verbage. For me at least there are some gems in there and paragraph breaks might help as well. This is all a stylistic call though and could very well be just me. I'm not much of a writer. Its far easier to be a critic. That and well... a touch of a douche. Good luck and keep at it if you care to.

Chin up buddy, you've got climbing AND writing in your life, how many people can say that they have two things that they care so much about? Passion is a panacea for all ills.

As far as your writing, I'd read your stuff, you've got the quirky introversion of perspective that I think one needs to say something new see days.

I highly highly highly recommend you pick up Leif Enger's novel So Brave Young And Handsome, never before have I found such pure joy reading a novel that is, more or less about a struggling author's quest to finish his second book.

skinny legs and all wrote:I am a budding writer.

I've never been a fan of reading stream of consciousness, but it is certainly a way to push your boundaries as a writer. I think it is a great tool for a writer to use though and you seem to have enough style to pull it off.

My suggestion to a budding writer? Find a trusted editor, it will free you from the more mundane tasks of forming a comprehensible paragraph and allow you to put down the words as they come to you. This doesn't mean you get to be lazy in your writing, but sharing the editing process will push your writing in so many ways.

@VerticalUrge, I've never thought about death in that way, though I've never lived in the same house as someone who has recently passed away. Depending on the death I can imagine those physical remnants could be overwhelmingly tragic or a beautiful reminder of the person.

I would like to thank all who read and responded! I greatly appreciate the criticism. I did not expect any reply other than someone saying that my work does not belong on the website or in the forums.

Bill, the Amy Winehouse reference is to a tattoo on her left breast in the form of a man's workshirt pocket that says Blake. She intended it to mean that she is in Blake's pocket. This was the man who she felt destined to be with and mentioned at almost every performance, particularly when he was incarcerated. This person introduced her to crack and heroin and many fans blame him for her death to this day. I do not, she was her own woman. Before she met him, she would leave the room when anyone would talk favorable about drugs in any way, even marijuana.

The incomparable Amy. I challenge you to find a female jazz singer with half of her natural talent in the last half century.

VerticalUrge, I very much enjoyed the snippet about your grandfather's personal effects, that was very powerful and is how I feel today. I feel as if pockets on baby's clothing is to emulate adults. Much like how a gang member dresses his three year old baby in colors and a bandanna and posts it on facebook. I think many young people my age view their children as action figures.

Jack, thank you so much for reading my profile, follow my posts, I have much more to come! Hemmingway if one of my favorite writers and was one of the greatest men of the 20th century in other respects. Remember, there are only three real sports... look up that quote if you are unfamiliar. You and I indulge in one of them.

Wannabee, it certainly took a bit of courage to put myself out there, but the cat is out of the bag and I will be contributing daily from now on. I will look into my use or verbs, and the reason I do not use paragraph breaks on this site is because my tab button does not respond in the forums. I would never dare omit them in a real publishing.

Willeslinger, I will read the book you suggested, thanks for the advice! I very much like how you said "passion is a panacea for all ills." Panacea is one of my favorite words. I have that Tom Robbin's style drug induced, independent style of writing. Just look at my user name...

Ryan, I appreciate your advice, I have been in the process of finding a copy editor.