Facing Down Failure

Ahh... I love year-end climbing reports. To the original poster, good work on getting 6 5.12s, seriously. But, I agree with what Will S. said upthread, that you pretty obviously set a goal that was too high.

I'm going to go out on a limb and pass some armchair judgement now... when you set goals too high, you really don't learn anything. I'm not sure what the OP's thoughts are, but it feels worse, and thus may motivate you to try harder, when you almost meet your goals. Getting 6 out of a prospective 31 routes is an undeniable shut-down; there is probably no regret or doubt in your mind where you are like, "damn, I ALMOST had it!" I teach college, so I'm thinking of it as a low, unredeemable F, rather than an almost-passed, 59%-type F.

If you had set the goal of 8 or 10 5.12s, would you have been more motivated, more psyched, and maybe put more energy into this? I dunno. Most 12a climbers that I know try way harder when they are projecting a 12b than when they are projecting a 13a, because they actually know that a send is possible. Similarly, I know several people who consistently project routes that they are never in any danger of sending, because it is easier on one's ego for a 12a climber to fail on a 13a than to admit to oneself and to the rest of the climbing community that you are actually a 12b redpointer.

Sorry to sound like a dick, but setting unrealistic goals is just something to think about.

As for my climbing season:
Unremarkable. Got back to Wingate cracks for the first time in 5 years, which was amazing even though it was in the middle of the summer, and I found that my increased sport fitness easily tranfered over to my first love, pure jamming. Did some FAs, and some of my hardest trad onsights to date.

This fall was kind of a dud, especially while we are talking about setting goals too high. Despite swearing to myself that I would stop sport prodging, I got on a route that was beautiful, and which immediately drew me in (Dial 911 at the NRG). I had a couple friends send it, and before I knew it, I was the last one in our crew that was still working on it. The last two weekends of projecting it, I was easily getting up to the redpoint crux and then just fucking up and psyching myself out. But by this point, I had invested so much into it (like a shitty car, or a bad mortgage), that I could not walk away, even though it was clearly over my head.

Eventually, I stuck the crux and got the send, and it felt easy at the time. But, upon clipping the anchors, I just felt empty and shallow. Did I really "master" the route if it took me 18 goes or whatever? Now, as winter sets in, and I sit around with a broken foot and getting fat, I look back on the season and wish I had spent more days exploring, getting mileage, climbing trad, onsighting, and trying new routes. Instead, I look back on 5 weekend in a row of walking to the same chunk of rock at the same crag.

Ok, that's all, end of rant.

i know what you mean. sometimes when you send, you just feel relieved, not happy.

to OP - maybe make this years goal to send 30 routes 11c or harder - with maybe 10 of each (11c, 11d, 12a).

As Camhead said, I too love End of the Year threads. By the way, Dr. Camhead did master that rig. With his super high percentage heel hooking magic beta, he dumbed down moves so that they were trivial and 100%. Where as I was constantly fighting to make moves even on my RP burn.

I'm still not too sure how to sum up my season. In some ways I think I had a good season for someone with two young kids trying to figure out how to manage/juggle my climbing life and family life, all the while facing down the realities of my ever aging 34 year old body.

After all, I managed 5 5.13s, I think. Maybe it was only 4. Who knows? You can see how much I really care. I did a bunch of other routes that were all pretty hard for me in the 12 and 11+ range. Some of those were proud (for me) onsights. I also managed nearly 100 new routes this year. Not nearly as many as years past, but not too shabby for a working dad with a broken body. Two trips to the RRG this year and one to Laurel Knob just barely satisfied my appetite for climbing road trips. Luckily, all three of those trips were good ones that taught me valuable lessons that I need to always keep close to my heart. Onsighting and exploring new routes are my greatest loves in climbing. Big traditional routes with friends are the greatest adventures in rock climbing. Rock climbing can be very dangerous. Negotiating and mitigating those risks are crucial. I don't want to get hurt, or worse die.

However, as I sit here at the end of 2012 with a shoulder that can't even manage 10 pull ups, I wonder and question was my season really successful. In all reality and as sad as it may seem, I've climbed less than 10 routes in over 5 weeks. I've spent just about every minute of my free time the past 2 weeks sulking over a rotator cuff injury by watching the entire first 4 seasons of Breaking Bad while driking way too many feel sorry for myself/mid life crisis/fuck my life beers all the while eating an exhorbitant amount of junk food. That's approximately 2444 minutes of Breaking Bad (I just did the math) in less than 2 weeks. Pathetic. My wife is pissed, my kids (although too young to realize it) have been neglected. All because of my stupid addiction to climbing/athletic prowess.

Where does all this dribble lead me (and you) you might ask? Well... as I sit here sharing my personal thoughts (and wasting time at work) with the world, I wonder if all the excessive amount (to a normal person) of climbing I've done has permanently ruined my shoulder? I wonder if I've wasted precious time away from my family that I will never be able to get back? I am torn between the notion of summarizing my season as a success when the outcome of the season has been so detrimental to my mental psyche. Could I have done less climbing this year and not cared about how good of shape I was in and spent more time just enjoying easier climbing with my friends and family? Could I have skipped some of my precious weekends when I was hell bent on sending and instead gone for a quick bike ride and spent the rest of the day doing a family picnic? Maybe I could have organized my climbing year around 5 long weekend trips to different areas concentrating on big adventure (hiking, camping, multipitch climbing)? All these questions and thoughts make me ponder the possibiltiy that I might not be injured and might have found more success in my year if I wasn't so focused on performance.

With that said, I'm sorry for subjecting anyone reading this to my personal thoughts and general mindfuck right now. I know I'll never not climb. I'm a lifer and will hack away at it for life. Whether it be peak bagging in the Rockies, long ridge runs in the Sierras, tweaky crimpfests and thug hauls here at home in the NRG, I'll continue to play on rocks. BUT, just maybe, this year of 2013 I won't let it consume my life and instead I will let it enhance my life. It's been said many times before, in many different ways, there are many trails that lead to the summit; its worth exploring them all.

Just noticed it today, I have a jacket with one of the insulating baffles completely flat! It appears I am facing down failure as well. Has anyone come up with a solution to this problem, maybe add more feathers to the coat?

MTKirk wrote:Just noticed it today, I have a jacket with one of the insulating baffles completely flat! It appears I am facing down failure as well. Has anyone come up with a solution to this problem, maybe add more feathers to the coat?

Biggest challenge was going from climbing every day in Patagonia to going to school full time with thanksgiving Being my only day off last month. It's been hard giving up what I love to learn something else.

the best thing to do is try some specific detergent like nikwax. dont forget to use tennis balls in the dryer...