In Eldo...STFU!

Austin hear me now
I climb in eldorado
I'm better then you

Dave Holliday wrote:There's also the variation: It is probably blah, blah, blah at the Gunks.

OMG tell me about it...

"At the Gunks *every word after goes in one, out the other*......"
*nods head*

In Eldo, rock climbs you.

It is "you're" not "your"
"Cock Canyon"? What are you? 13?
Damn rhyme scheme. Too constricting!
I suck at haikus.

ROC wrote:I've had those chipmunks destroy an entire pack. Chewed all the zippers and didn't even touch the food inside. Also been reaching into my pack and had the little suckers crawl up my arm and jump to freedom; twice! With a steady diet of power bars and organic food we've all created those little monsters.

I had them take a bag of chocolate covered coffee beans out of my pack. I looked all over for a rodent flipping out or lying dead from cardiac arrest but never found it.

Mr. Baird has revealed himself as illiterate, as well as bitter. This is getting to be an interstate scandal/tragedy. Meet at the border and settle this like hardmen?

I'll take literate spray over halfwit bitterness any day.

Luckily for the majority of Americans, being able to compose a proper haiku isn't the definition of literate. While my inability to fit a response into the 5-7-5 rhyme scheme might qualify me for criticism in some circles (University of Iowa writing program, coffee shops)it doesn't quite merit the accusation of illiteracy that Mr. Coppolillo has levied against me. There are plenty of other insults that apply (pretentious, short, overly caffeinated) - you need only ask what I'm feeling insecure about that day and I'll gladly help you compose the most caustic insult possible.

As far as meeting at the border and settling this the old-fashioned way - anyone who extends such a challenge should do it on a Monday. Whenever Mormons do anything (even travel to Colorado for a duel) on a Monday, they call it Family Home Evening and provide treats. All invitations to fight should come with a suggested baked good. We will have to start and end with a prayer though.

JLP wrote:Did you grow up with 8 mothers?

-5 for unoriginality.

There once was a climber from Provo
Who whined about climbers from Eldo.
He posted on here,
“Oh my, how they sneer!”
Let’s sit back and enjoy the show.

My allegations of illiteracy focused on the "your" vs. "you're" distinction, but now that you've distinguished yourself with a worthy response, I fully propose a Monday brawl to be accompanied by warm cookies and perhaps a tart of some variety.

Interstate scandal/tragedy avoided!

This has gotten a little dull, but it has occurred to me that with the introduction of more general poetry; I can introduce one of my favorite limericks
it goes like this
Tommy Loy, the cabin boy
the dirty little nipper
filled his ass with broken glass
and circumcised the skipper

sorry

Don't apologize; that's quality stuff.

Mike McHugh wrote:I clean up human excrement in Eldo for a living. It smells like roses and turns into lotus blossums when sprinkled on the ground. Truth!

I love it! And it's true, seen it first hand. Thats because, lets face it, everything is better in Eldo :)

But really, all you eldo insulters are right....eldo sucks dick. crap climbing, crap rock, crap gear, crap grades, crap people. You should definitely climb somewhere else...

Jackie Blumberg wrote:an Eldo poem, written in Bukowski style: Eldo Canyon climbing i drank too much wine and bet on the wrong horse some whore took all my money

There is
no God
But if there
were
even he'd
think
Eldo ratings were
stiff

youtube.com/watch?v=NTcoaF9…

I like to listen to this on the way to get psyched. Check out the "Boulder" TP @ 32 seconds... Maybe if people starting using that, Mike McHugh wouldn't mind cleaning it up?

Austin Baird wrote: There is no God But if there were even he'd think Eldo ratings were stiff

My first trip to Jtree I was sitting at a campfire with some neighbors in Ryan campground. I'd had an experience that day on "Half Track" that I had described to them and that is described here:
Half Track Is Scarey
I was saying how the ratings felt stiff and the leads felt scary and that there were sandbags and...
And the locals all patted themselves on the back and agreed that they were hardmen for climbing there and such. "Yeah, the ratings here are stiff and the gear is committing. So where do you usually climb?"
"Eldo."
There was silence for a few seconds as I got kind of twisted looks until one of them finally spit it out: "Dude, ELDO is scarey!"

I'm not saying Eldo is harder or Jtree is harder. I'm saying that whatever you are not used to is harder. Jtree was hard until I got used to it. I'm an Eldo guy- friction climbing is not really my thing, a fact of which I was reminded on Crest Jewel in Yosemite after saying Yosemite is over-graded (the cracks felt that way). And for J-tree climbers, who are used to frictioning up things, Eldo is like climbing a stick of butter.
So there are some areas that are on the stiff end, including Jtree (Ever try Poodle Woof? 5.10b eh? Giggle...), Eldo, Seneca, Cochise, the Gunks and Devil's Lake. There are some that are easy (New Wave Boulder Canyon, Table Mountain, Clear Creek, Red Rocks, and perhaps Tensleep).
But I'll tell you what...

Chuck Norris went to Devil's Lake once. Devil's Lake turned his penis turn into a tail so he could leave with it between his legs.

Tony B wrote: saying Yosemite is over-graded

I've heard this before, how is it possible for Yosemite to be "soft" or "sandbagged" based on the Yosemite decimal system. I get a kick out of hearing that and I have never been.

Ratings are just a rough guide to let you know if you might be able to do something.

In my opinion,they don't matter even a little bit. If I climb Yak Crack and one guy says it is 11- and one guy says it is 11+, how does that have any impact on the fun I had climbing it?

Frequently the people spewing about "hardman" areas and bitching about soft ratings don't seem to be sending the routes they are bitching about...

Stereotypes usually exist for a reason. Boulder has one for a reason. It would seem.... I have met more people with the "Colorado-tude" from Boulder than from anywhere else.

Boulder is an am amazing beautiful place. I love to visit for the climbing, for the pearl street music scene, for the beer, and for some of the amazing people that live there. After about a week of it though I want to scream from the rooftops how delusional everybody seems. Seriously people, we cant all go to Naropa University and study traditional eastern arts and work "when we feel like it".

Oh and you all missed the point Austin was trying to make. You also managed to turn it into a thread about Eldo.

How Boulder of you.

Aaron G wrote: Oh and you all missed the point Austin was trying to make.

I think you did too...

Austin Baird wrote: Now shut up.

When someone tells me to

STFU

I don't really care what their point was... But I do love a good Eldo thread.

JLP wrote: Reads to me as yet another Boulder hater thread.

There's definitely a ColoRADo attitude represented out there, and Boulder gets blamed for being the hotbed of it. But, hell, I grew up in California, so I should know all about peoples' preconceptions about a place and the reality not matching up (no, I actually didn't grow up on a beachside nudist commune surfing the waves brah and chugging wheat grass shooters). So, Boulder is known for narcisisstic liberal elitism? Currently residing in a conservative dipshit hot bed, I'd take that passive aggressive navel sniffing mambo jimbo over a bunch of wannabe cowboys talking about wetbacks and the Asian invasion while the balls on their truck gently sway just about any day now.