Dumb things other climbers have said

Taking my girl up her first multipitch and second trad clean (Solar Slab Gully in Red Rock):

Me (Cooling my heels at the top of the third pitch belay as the rope doesn't slack for 20 minutes) "Hun what the heck is taking you so long? Are you ok?"

Gf (VERY loudly) "I'M TRYING TO GET YOUR DAMNED NUTS OUT!!!!"

Unknown climber on first pitch of Solar Slab (Faintly) "Wait, I'm coming down there now I wanna watch!!!" (laughter)

Ah, climbing. LOL.

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I once heard a climber in the party right next to us say to his his partner/girlfriend/wife "Hey belay wench, fetch my shoes!

She looked at him for a second but didn't move, so he clapped his hands twice and said "Hey! Chop-chop."

She got up up without saying a word, picked up his pack (which was open) and started swinginging it like she was in the hammer throwing event at the Olympics. We actually had to duck, as water bottles, clothes, foil wrapped food, and the guide book started flying all over the place.

After the second full spin she stopped, looked into the pack and calmly said "I don't see them in here, maybe you left them at home?".

"hold my beer, I'm gonna send this"

Robbie Flick wrote:Also in Maryland (not sure how many people climb there on this site) there is an infamous local dude who has a tendency to free solo and flail up 5.7's, scaring the daylights out of anyone else climbing nearby. His signature style: -a full rack of trad gear, so when he needs a break on the 70' 5.7, he simply plugs in a cam and takes on it. -rope tied to his haul loop, so he can rappel at breakneck speed while smoking his cigs. Quite a character. Because there aren't many places to climb in Maryland, I've run into him several times, and considering I don't even know the dude, have been more frequently scared for his life than anyone I know.

I too have been to Rock State Park a few times. I have always been amazed at some of the shitty anchors I have seen and dumb questions asked by the drunken teenage visitors

Bumped into an ex-girlfriend a few years back...

"So, you still hanging rocks?
"What? You mean rock-climbing?"
"Whatever you call it."

She clearly was NOT The One.

Patrick Pfeifer wrote:Damn Brian, quoted 3 times in this thread, Awesome! If you ever come to Tucson I want to climb with you!

Hahaha

Mike Ben wrote:Once, while driving by a large church group who was climbing in 11 mile canyon in the Splatte, I felt the need to yell "What's the rope for? You got God don't cha?" The leader fell and I got some nasty looks from the group. I cracked another Bud and drove off laughing all the way to hell.

This is the exact opposite of the thread, but I figured it would be worth it for some of us to read it again.

A bunch of rich people pulled up in a limo at the Grand Wall parking lot and started scoping the Grand with their binoculars. A woman came over and said

"I know it's called rapeling when they come down the ropes, but what do they call it when they go up?"

Sorry I am late to this thread. There are simply too many silly comments at the crag to recall all of them. However one recent thing comes to mind. While climbing at Winslow Wall last Summer some younger guys were climbing Mulva, the crux of which requires a bit of technical stemming in a huge hueco. One guy was struggling while TR'ing it, and called down for beta on how to do the crux. The guy who had put the route up replied: "It's super body, yo!" We found that sentence so funny that it is now firmly entrenched in our vernacular.

spencerparkin wrote: I accidently mistook a non-belay-off command for the belay off command. So these days, unless I'm absolutely sure, I don't actually take them off, but yell "belay's off!" If they start pulling rope up fast, I either feed it all through the device or figure they really are anchored and take them off. Of course, this assumes that if they fell, the rope would run much too quickly for me to believe they were just pulling rope up, and in that case I would lock off.

I, also, was involved in an extremely close call due to a misunderstanding of "off belay." Now days when I hear "off belay" I try to always say "I'm going to take you off belay, (climber's name)," before actually taking them off belay. I think its safe, but your method works also.

edit: now that I think about it, I remember witnessing this kind of thing on more than one occasion. In one bizarre conversation between climber and belayer, the belayer seemed to think "slack" meant the same thing as "off belay".
Climber: "slack"
belayer: "you're off belay"
climber: "No! I said slack"
belayer: "yes, I took you off belay. You have to say what you mean"

edit: now that I'm in ranting mode I've got to mention one more thing. (This situation only seems to happen with boyfriends leading and girlfriends belaying)
climber: "No slack!"
belayer: "ok"
climber: "No, No slack! You're giving me slack"
belay: "so do you want more slack?"
etc. etc. (Climbing commands should always be what you want, not what you don't want)

found this today and had to add it to the thread

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfHVIrA9_gA&feature=related

like that bit at the end, when he looks at his z clip

climber: What the hell did I do over there?

belayer: Yeah I dont know

climber: What the hell were you not thinking

Belayer: Im sorry

My conclusion... Stay in the gym where there is nice soft foam pads and lots of people with cameras.

Any idiot who says they're gonna' "kick the sh*t out of ANY dog" at the crag they ever see, ever, for any reason, ever, for no reason, and no they aren't just threatening on the internet, but for real, just try me, EVER!!!!

Hank Caylor wrote:Any idiot who says they're gonna' "kick the sh*t out of ANY dog" at the crag they ever see, ever, for any reason, ever, for no reason, and no they aren't just threatening on the internet, but for real, just try me, EVER!!!!

+1

Another dumb thing another climber has said...
"I'm Gonna Ride Bulls!"

Just kidding Hank, that's awesome and I'm totally gonna be there with a video camera in hand!

The first time I took my little sister climbing, I was racking up and she asked me "what are those jiggers and doilies for?"

Hank Caylor wrote:Any idiot who says they're gonna' "kick the sh*t out of ANY dog" at the crag they ever see, ever, for any reason, ever, for no reason, and no they aren't just threatening on the internet, but for real, just try me, EVER!!!!

+2

And I would probably call up my buddy (who's an MP dog handler), have him take a trip off base with his dog and have him try to kick his ass. Id pay good money to see that. Ive personally seen that dog take down a 250lb+ man in a full dog suit trying to resist like a real person would. Its astounding,the dog jumps high enough to grab near the throat and uses his body weight to snap the perp down and then just keeps biting and thrashing.

Thought this was amusing...went to Hidden Falls for some ice debauchery yesterday, and as usual, the weekend crowds showed up. Included in the crowd was an introductory CMS class. These 3 dudes were GREEN to say the least. We had a big group so we tried best we could to give them their space. After a lengthy lesson on the ground, they started roping in to take some laps.

A dude finally makes it to the anchor and yells (rather, asks) "Umm, uh...TAKING?? (long pause) Now what do you say?"

"Can I get two girdles and a powder bag?" -at the local gym

"There is no God"

"Evolution is fact"