Mark Nelson I need you

I don't know Mark, but I heard that when Mark Nelson does a push up he doesn't actually push himself up, he pushes Earth down.

AJS wrote: Shhhh, he's right over there -----> I heard Mark Nelson sets fire to ants with a magnifying glass...at night. Some magicians can walk on water...Mark Nelson can swim through land.

I think that somehow he is related to Chuck Norris.

Don Bushey wrote:Mark Nelson has made women pregnant just by walking into the same room.

of course they're related...this is exactly how Chuck Norris was concieved. He even made his dad proud by inventing the first C-section...after roundhouse kicking himself out of the womb.

I'd never even heard of Mark Nelson before this thread so I googled it - the results were shocking! "Mark Nelson doesn't need to wear a condom, because there is no protection against Mark Nelson". Wow!!!

Mark Nelson can clog toilets with his pee

Oh yeah...
"I know Mark Nelson... Mark Nelson was a friend of mine, and Senator, you are no Mark Nelson."

I was SOOOO waiting for Shawn Mitchel to say something before digging that one out, but I've lost my patience.

Kevin Landolt wrote:I'd never even heard of Mark Nelson before this thread so I googled it - the results were shocking! "Mark Nelson doesn't need to wear a condom, because there is no protection against Mark Nelson". Wow!!!

when god said "let there be light!!!"

Mark Nelson said "you have to ask me please first."

I Googled Mark Nelson, too.

"Mark Nelson's mastery of the Appalachian dulcimer, `ukulele and guitar wows audiences from coast to coast. "

Bet you didn't know that.

This showed up under images of Mark Nelson:

Mark Nelson plays Russian roulette and wins every time.

erikwellborn wrote:Mark Nelson plays Russian roulette and wins every time.

Yeah, one in the chamber or not, Mark Nelson is unscathed. The bullets recognize the man and refuse to budge.

Mark Nelson once made love to a semi-truck. Their love child would one day come to be known as Optimus Prime.

Tayte Campbell wrote:Mark Nelson can clog toilets with his pee

This one is actually true

And holy cow yes! I do remember that picture. I'm the one in the middle, btw

I don't think you can find better counsel than Mark Nelson.

Will Butler wrote:Mark Nelson once made love to a semi-truck. Their love child would one day come to be known as Optimus Prime.

Yes!!! Best one yet

Will Butler wrote:Mark Nelson once made love to a semi-truck. Their love child would one day come to be known as Optimus Prime.

I have to admit- I read that and laughed out loud, then had to explain to my wife what was so funny.

Mark Nelson recently had a brush with Death, and Death ended up running away screaming.

Thanks to Haas and the rest of you jokers!

Now my whole family knows the "real" Mark Nelson;

he's so tough even his inner child kicked your ass.....twice

Mark Nelson wrote:Thanks to Haas and the rest of you jokers! Now my whole family knows the "real" Mark Nelson; he's so tough even his inner child kicked your ass.....twice

3 Billion years ago, Mark Nelson put his foot down about monopolies... and he put it down hard.
Pangea split into 7 continents that drifted apart.

I heard that under Mark Nelsons beard, there is no chin. Just another fist!

Mark Nelson - I don't even know you, but I enjoyed this thread so much I just had to give it a bump.

Mark Nelson.... when he gets gripped, he clips himself.