You can't make this shit up...

This is funny. A classic example of a common thread that seems to exist among so many climbers.... Dude! Have you been tested for Attention Deficit Disorder!?

I'm waiting for the next chapter :)

I must say that it's a relief that it's not nature deficit disorder! just another thing we can tick off the list of what's not wrong with this fellow. it seems to me, like the rest of us climbers, he's probably a masochist as well an adrenaline junkie :-P

To all those who criticize come to the Dacks and find your crag of choice when the guide says difficult and then talk your shit. By the way I didn't get lost I got frustrated. there is a difference. If you read the post more closely you will see i camped on the TRAIL...hardly sounds lost to me. Now MITCH well he's a different story. Besides a chapter at a time gives all you out in cyberspace something to look forward to. You should thank me. Chapter III SOON...

Pooler - you were most definitely not lost - you knew how to get back to your car. You can have no idea where you are and not be lost because you still know how to get back where you came from. A common misconception made by those being guided.

We are anxiously awaiting chapter III

Pooler - you were most definitely not lost - you knew how to get back to your car. You can have no idea where you are and not be lost, because you still know how to get back where you came from. A common misconception made by those who have never been lost.

We are anxiously awaiting chapter III

Chapter III

OK,OK,OK.....

So lets clarify some things. Dropping off the gear at my car is because with camp stuff, climbing stuff, and BEER..My shit weighs 65lbs+. If you have EVER walked for 3+ hours finding a Crag in the Dacks you can relate to why dropping all that weight when I went BACK YES.. BACK.. to my car should be understandable. Especially when your buddy up at the crag has a full rack. So I brought extendable slings w/ biners and Quick draws( some sport at the crag, Sorry MC G those forged mthrfkers are hvvy)
SOOOOOO. MITCH??????

Well my buddy that comes down the trail says he needs to drive his other buddy home. That's good for me because I have no more food or booze. At this point I was told I was " PRICELESS" what ever that means.. So my buddy comes back. he has food and booze( What a champ ). " Where's Mitch?" he says " don't Know" I said. By this time it's dark FFFFFKKKKK. head lamps, and lantern into the dark

SOO.. We hike into the woods. Looking for our friends. We where persistent and vigilant. We walked for some time.. AND WE WALKED UP..We thought well; at least he was prepared to camp. After a long while of searching( somewhere in the 1hr area). LOOOOOKKKK IT'S MITCH up on a hill no where near the crag he thought he was at.... Oh he was with a chic ( so lost or not he was doing better than me ) He was cooking Ckn fajitas and drinking beer. All set up he invites us in for beer and food. We say " What happened to you today?" he says We went to Lost Hunters" Well No My buddy was there all day. OH WELL THEN WE WHERE SOMEPLACE ELSE....GUESS WHAT THE TAPE WAS WRONG....

So after a very fun camp fire session We had to go back...WE WHERE SOLID no worries

Chapter IV soon......

I am wondering why you didn't drop your pack before you hiked back to your car, then you would have saved a lot more energy by not packing it back and forth...

has anyone read the book or seen the movie deliverance? I see this going that way. Im just waiting for Bubba to jump out from behind a bush.

Yawn....WTF. the title of the thread. anyone can make up anything, it's called an imagination...... I cannot bring myself to read past the first paragraph.....

Chapter IV

So, I didn't drop my pack because at this point I wasn't sure I was going back, and if I was going to make shit up it would be to make me look cool not like an idiot. Now that we have that out of the way let's get on with the final ridiculous chapter.

So wake the next morn feelin pretty good. My buddy and I hike to a closer crag that Mitch and his "friend"(the chic) were supposed to meet us at. we get there, NO Mitch. We figure oh well he's not much of a morning person he'll be here later. My buddy starts to rack up for his first redpoint FA of a climb. The thing that happens next is why he is only referred to as "my Buddy" because this makes him look as incompetent as me,and he requested to remain nameless. so Back to the story. He is rehearsing the moves and racking the gear he would need. As he racks up he says "FUCK" Pooler you got your ATC?. UMMM. I left it back at my car with the rest of my shit. MANNNN. No belay device GREEEAAATTT, just keeps gettin better. OK so not IDEAL but we can always use the trusty locking biner rig right? Well not so much. CAN ANYONE GUESS AT THIS POINT WHY? Because neither one of us had brought one, AWESOME. My buddy says well I aint going back to the car now. We would have waited for Mitch, but his track record for finding crags is not so good. WELL oval non-locking biner it is, we were not psyced. Up the rout he goes. This is where it gets priceless. He has a dry teated rope and it keeps getting kinked to shit. Once again AWESOME fucking AWESOME, did I say AWESOME. So non-locking oval biner for a belay device, Kinked rope, Redpoint FA attempt of a 10d. REALLY can it get any better. Every 5 feet I gotta yell hang on the Fkin rope is kinked. If anyone has ever used this method for belay then you know the whole time I'm unkinking the rope I gotta keep tension on the line in case he falls. NOT EASY... Luckily my buddy sends. Wheew.. mostly I think because there was no way he was trusting our make shift rig. So I lower him all the while fighting with the god Damn rope, but he lived. Low and behold who shows up not more than one minute after he is safely on the ground. ANYONE HAVE A GUESS.. MITCH. What does the Noob have but the ATC we could have used 20 minutes ealier AWESOME. At least we had a belay device the rest of the day. So we climb and the rest of the day goes well we all make progress on our projects and have a good time. So it at lest ends well, SORT OF. CAN ANYONE GUESS WHY THERE ARE NO PICS OF THIS DEBACLE? We all forgot a camera. OF COURSE WE DID. This is one trip that will go down in the books of how not to do things. I realize this does not count toward my trip report for the generous Mr. McG, but is was to classic not to post. I will post another report When shit goes a bit smoother with pics.

PS I DID in fact have a locking biner

sorry..... based on spelling errors and chapters 1 - 3, I decide NOT to read chapter 4.

note to self...dont climb with pooler.

cMn wrote:sorry..... based on spelling errors and chapters 1 - 3, I decide NOT to read chapter 4. note to self...dont climb with pooler.

This story has the pacing of a Russian novel. Next time feel free to edit non-pertinent info and replace with bits about mountain lions, cut ropes, massive whippers, or possibly Sasquatch.

All great stories start out with a kernel of truth. Keep this one going!
Mal

is there more, nothing really happened. this was far from epic.