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Dumb things other climbers have said

Woodchuck ATC · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2007 · Points: 3,280
YDPL8S wrote:I was at a party standing around with a bunch of high testosterone guys and of course the topic turned to sports, and then which ones were the hardest. One of my friends casually asked me, by way of a lead in, "don't you rock climb?" Before I could answer, an outdoorsman type, that drives an offroad 4-wheeler with a case of beer in the back on the weekends and has his keys suspended from his beltloop on a locking carabiner, chimed in. "Rock climbing is just pulling yourself up on equipment you pound in the rock, the true skill comes in rappelling!"....he said with a superior air as he puffed on his Marlboro and quaffed another Bud Lite.
spoken by a true redneck non-climber type.
Langlois · · NYC · Joined Jul 2008 · Points: 355

While at the gym I watched a guy working a boulder problem for roughly an hour. After he got it his friend congratulated him.
His reply: Yeah Im glad I got it on my first go
Friend: wait havent you been working this awhile?
Douche: yeah but that was my first REAL go

He wasnt kidding.

Also overheard the same guy in the gym say that he was glad finally got something "clean" with only 2 falls

Brian Snider · · NorCal · Joined Mar 2010 · Points: 732
Chris Tucker wrote: Here is my example, although not actually overheard..
Sorry maybe we should change the thread to douche bag things climbers say. Im sure you would have tons to write about.
TheBirdman Friedman · · Eldorado Springs, Colorado · Joined Jan 2010 · Points: 65

"Take."

Jan Tarculas · · Riverside, Ca · Joined Mar 2010 · Points: 917
Crag Dweller wrote:"Bouldering is climbing without a harness" - youtube.com/watch?v=XTDbwOw…
I know of this girl...I'm sad to say I climb at the same gym. When I saw this video I got sad knowing that these are the type of climbers at my gym now...other quotes from this video

"bouldering is when you have a boulder...aka a 'big arse rock' and you try to climb on it, like without a harness or anything"

another situation at my gym with a climber on TR and a belayer
Climber: TAKE! There is so much slack
Me: (me shouting to belayer) Hey you should take a lot more slack because if he falls he will deck
Belayer: (looking dumbfounded at the grigri) It's hard to take...
me: (looking intently at the grigri set up) HEY! you have your gri-gri set up wrong. ( I proceed to tell climber to climb down)
Climber: Are you sure? (he is like 15 feet above the ground with enough slack to deck)
Belayer: (still looking confused and looks at the climber) You set this up. I didn't do it....
eric larson · · aurora, co · Joined Apr 2008 · Points: 50

Dear anon:
I would like the 4:41 of my life back for watching that video... Though I suppose it was my fault for watching the entire thing...

Anyways, not to entirely change the subject, but when coming off of Devil's Tower, my boss responds to tourists asking "whats up there" with "A swimming pool and bar"

Dumbest thing I have ever heard outside:
"Those anchors are MEANT to be top-roped off of"

Brian Snider · · NorCal · Joined Mar 2010 · Points: 732

Unfortunately most of the dumb stuff I hear comes out of my mouth. I once told someone I had to "down fall" that section. Its a very technical move used to reposition yourself on the wall. Response: Isn't that just falling? No laugh or anything. Why do people take me so seriously, are my jokes just not that funny?

Aerili · · Los Alamos, NM · Joined Mar 2007 · Points: 1,875

In 2006, I made the mistake of going to Red Rocks with a friend of mine who was living in Flagstaff at the time. We drove with/met up with a total of 4-5 other friends of hers. Everyone was there just to sport climb except for she and I.

On our last day, we went sport climbing with the others.

One of the guys put up a longish route but only had one quickdraw for the anchor, so he lowered off one anchor point. Mystified, I asked him if he had run out of draws and if so, he could borrow some of mine.

His answer: "No, I didn't run out."

Me: "So you were too lazy to count the bolts?" (okay, I didn't actually say this out loud)

One of the chicks in the group then pulls the rope and prepares to lead the same route. I ask her if she can put another draw on the anchor since I was going to climb it next on TR.

Her: "Why?"

Me: "Uhhhh...cause the anchor should have two points of attachment."

Her: "It doesn't really matter. One is good enough."

Me: "What if that point failed?"

Her: "Then it would be backed up by the bolt below it. Lowering off one anchor is no different than lowering off a single bolt in the middle of a route. It's the same thing."

Me: "People only lower off a bolt if they have to. I have never seen anyone toprope or lower off a single anchor point by choice."

Her: "Whatever--it's common practice at crags ALL OVER AMERICA!!!"

Anonymous · · Unknown Hometown · Joined unknown · Points: 0

Four college aged guys were in the gym on friday night getting ready to take their test for lead belay and climbing. The gym employee asked them if they knew what back clipping was. Crickets chirped. He then asked them if they knew what Z-clipping was. Once again, crickets. Finally the biggest of the bunch says, "I gotta tell you, I've been climbing for a while and I've never heard of either of those."

The gym employee proceeded to demonstrate back clipping using a draw and their rope to which the bigger guy said, "Ooooh, I thought you said back-flipping. Yeah, I know what back clipping is."

Then they each took turns making it to only the second bolt on the 5.9 that most people climb for their lead test.

John Farrell · · Phoenix, AZ · Joined Jan 2009 · Points: 85

"Slack up the Take, NOW!"

Huh?

Doug Foust · · Oroville, WA · Joined Sep 2008 · Points: 165
Brian Snider wrote: Thats 4min 41secs Ill never get back. Thanks.
You made it through the whole thing!?!?!?!?
about a minute and a half and I needed a drink.
Brian Snider · · NorCal · Joined Mar 2010 · Points: 732

Luckly I was already drinking and I kept thinking she might get naked.

Chris Duca · · Dixfield, ME · Joined Dec 2006 · Points: 2,330

About 8 years ago while climbing at the Main Cliff @ Rumney, I heard someone yell, "Could you please be quiet! I'm trying to have a wilderness experience!!) at another climber for making noise while she climbed through the crux of a route.

Scott McMahon · · Boulder, CO · Joined Feb 2006 · Points: 1,425
Chris Duca wrote:About 8 years ago while climbing at the Main Cliff @ Rumney, I heard someone yell, "Could you please be quiet! I'm trying to have a wilderness experience!!) at another climber for making noise while she climbed through the crux of a route.
I heard that too verbatim on Mt. Kahtadin...BUT they gut it was told to brought a FULL size boom box and started playing Stairway to Heaven at volume!!

The thing I though was amazing was he did the whole knife edge ridge with that thing strapped to the back of his pack.
Sam Stephens · · PORTLAND, OR · Joined Jan 2010 · Points: 1,090
Brian Snider wrote:Luckly I was already drinking and I kept thinking she might get naked.
This.
Patrick Pfeifer · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2010 · Points: 0

Damn Brian, quoted 3 times in this thread, Awesome!
If you ever come to Tucson I want to climb with you!

Jason Halladay · · Los Alamos, NM · Joined Oct 2005 · Points: 15,143

It amazes me how often other climbers use the term "free climbed" when referring to "free soloing"...
"I can't believe that Alex Honnold guy free climbed that route. So crazy."

Mark Kauzlarich · · Brooklyn · Joined May 2009 · Points: 65
sunder wrote:My favorite to yell while someone is climbing. Of course they are perfectly save when i yell this. "WHAT EVER YOU DO DON'T FALL THERE!!!"
I like this. Its similar to what I've done once, on a really safe easy climb. I yelled out:

"Okay! You're back on belay!"
Ty Harlacker · · Albuquerque, NM · Joined Mar 2008 · Points: 231
John P. wrote:Not the dumbest but it was very funny. When at a popular winter top roping spot last December, a father/son combo shows up for some "climbing". The father instructs the son to do the walk around and set up the top rope by running one end through the anchors and then tossing the rope down, the kid gets to the top runs about 6 feet of rope through the anchor and yells "look out below" then tosses the rope still coiled to dad. Dad looked up at son and said "Son you remind me allot of your mother, let's go fishing"
Classic.
Ty Harlacker · · Albuquerque, NM · Joined Mar 2008 · Points: 231
Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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