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pooping off the deck

Original Post
Ray Lovestead · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jan 2008 · Points: 108

Q: How does one poop on a multiday climb? What are the subtleties of such a manuever? What about the ladies and peeing? Safety issues? Codes of conduct?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Deaun Schovajsa · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2006 · Points: 220

On multi-pitch climbs, I usually poop the same way I do on single pitch climbs, i.e., out of my @$$.

Seriously, that's what I do.

Rodion · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2006 · Points: 20

On multi-day climbs, it's standard ethic to pack your poo with you by pooing into a PVC tube or some such contraption. Peeing, you just try to pee off route and not onto people... as best you can. Same for the ladies, just a little more effort in getting the legloops and pants out of the way.

Good luck with that.

rob rebel · · Bend, OR · Joined Jan 2006 · Points: 5

Wag bag and PVC tube, good luck.

Rick Blair · · Denver · Joined Oct 2007 · Points: 266

PVC tube? What is the proper diameter? Do you want a threaded end? When you use it do you twist it in place.... er.... or do you push..... ahhhh....

OK.... forget it.

Cody Cook · · Colorado Springs, CO · Joined Jul 2005 · Points: 40

I've actually yet to try this, but have read about it, and would use it tomorrow if I were on a wall. Plastic bags, such as those you get from the grocery store. Gives you a nice big opening so you can't miss. Upon finishing, tie it off, stuff it down the pvc poop tube, close the lid. Keeps the tube clean. Once you get down from the wall, dump out the tube, wash it out, and you're ready to rock again.

Also, as for the harness getting in the way - I'd tie off a swami belt, and then get rid of that sucker. No need to fight the leg loops now.

For those that are too green to accept plastic bags from the store - try canvas.

Buff Johnson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2005 · Points: 1,145

You could always go with the trend for renewables & just chalk up

Buff Johnson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2005 · Points: 1,145

sorry, I can't take this seriously.

allright, I think I'm good now -- Largest Gatorade bottle emptied, cut around the angled top then reseal with duct tape, fashion something of a hauler strap on it; works great.

Cody Cook · · Colorado Springs, CO · Joined Jul 2005 · Points: 40
Mark Nelson wrote:You could always go with the trend for renewables & just chalk up
Is that liquid chalk?
aluke · · PHX, AZ · Joined May 2007 · Points: 90

I think the best is go eco-friendly/biodegradable paper lunch sack, gotta have good aim for the small opening.

Once ya got it in the bag and rolled up nice and neat then launch it at tourists with one of those water balloon slingshots. Use a spotting scope to help aim and to observe the results. The use of the sling shot allows you to hit something further from the wall than just throwing it. The impact force will provide a spectacular explosion.

You should see the look on peoples faces when a big bag of shit explodes next to them. WahHahhhah (note: get a good spotting scope to see their faces)

The good thing about this method is you don't have to haul it, you get it far enough off your route and other routes, and you get a great laugh if you hit something.

Rob Dillon · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2002 · Points: 760

Partner's chalk bag, always good for some wholesome laffs.

Tico · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2006 · Points: 0
Andrew Luke wrote:I think the best is go eco-friendly/biodegradable paper lunch sack, gotta have good aim for the small opening. Once ya got it in the bag and rolled up nice and neat then launch it at tourists with one of those water balloon slingshots. Use a spotting scope to help aim and to observe the results. The use of the sling shot allows you to hit something further from the wall than just throwing it. The impact force will provide a spectacular explosion. You should see the look on peoples faces when a big bag of shit explodes next to them. WahHahhhah (note: get a good spotting scope to see their faces) The good thing about this method is you don't have to haul it, you get it far enough off your route and other routes, and you get a great laugh if you hit something.
Sorry bro, but you're way lo-tek, and i mean luddite.

Laser-sights for poop sling-shots have been standard since the late 90's. Some make the necessary compensations for windage.

for you guys with zero nards who insist on packing it out, i suggest a small dry bag, much lighter than the pvc tube. you can smell it either way, if you really try. maybe i just have a good nose.
Sam Lightner, Jr. · · Lander, WY · Joined Apr 2006 · Points: 2,732

WHen I was in eighth grade Jimmy Alison snuck into the band room and fired a stone down the gullet of Andrea Vignaroli's clarinet. We called her shit lips from then on.

You don't normally have a clarinet on a rock climb, but if you do it works. I guess you can wipe with the reed.

aluke · · PHX, AZ · Joined May 2007 · Points: 90
Tico wrote: Sorry bro, but you're way lo-tek, and i mean luddite. Laser-sights for poop sling-shots have been standard since the late 90's. Some make the necessary compensations for windage.
Yeah well I aint got that kind of cash, maybe when you upgrade I'll buy your old gittup. Damn, wind compensation that must be hard to calculate with such a large projectile. When do you think they will start marketing computer controlled potato guns for such a purpose?

Sam, I am laughing so hard I almost craped myself, "shit lips" hahaha
Michael Goodhue · · Colorado · Joined Aug 2008 · Points: 35
The Larry wrote:Just stick your ass out and let the mud falcons fly.
Awesome.
James Schroeder · · Fort Collins, CO · Joined May 2002 · Points: 3,166

Ray-

You want PVC about 3"-4" in diameter and 3'-4' long (how much pooping you plan on doing will dictate the size) and threaded caps at both ends (it's much better pushing clean through with some device than having to reach in and pull the poop out).

As for what to poop in, I am a fan of pre rigging "poop-kits" consisting of one brown bag filled with about a 1/2 cup of kitty litter and folded up inside a second plastic bag. Poop in the paper bag, fold it over, shake it up(to mix in the kitty litter), then put into the plastic bag and seal (twist ties, knot, or ziplock), then into the bottom of the poop tube.

This is definitely the luxury pooping system and comes with the weight associated with such luxury.

Happy crappy,
James

Buff Johnson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2005 · Points: 1,145

one potential problem with going off the deck is the railing; if it doesn't have a good finish on it you can really splinter the hell out of your deirer; probably also get a good wallup from your s.o. with your home depot style fertilization process; but what the hey, you can do it -- we can help.

Deaun Schovajsa · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2006 · Points: 220

Ray, here's one way to do it...

One who shall remain nameless...making initial preparations to poop in a paper bag on the Salathe Wall
One who shall remain nameless...making initial preparations to poop in a paper bag on the Salathe Wall

Buff Johnson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2005 · Points: 1,145

just for the record - Deaun doesn't have

You wanna' look like this when ya get old!

the gray hair

Metallica!!

Deaun Schovajsa · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2006 · Points: 220
Mark Nelson wrote:just for the record - Deaun doesn't have the gray hair Metallica!!
Metallica rules! Those old farts...
Good to see you last night Mark. Sorry about stealing your beer.

Not really!
Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

General Climbing
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