Is climbing worth breaking up for ?

Is climbing worth breaking up for? Climbing is a passion for me but not my girlfriend. I'm at a crossroads. In the long run is climbing still there for you when your hurt or to old to climb. I need opinions from people that had to make this choice.

Yes, flat out.

its a choice only you can make, but I find it hard to believe that someone that truly and uncoditionally loves you would ask you to give up something that means so much to you and is not harmful to your health i.e. drinking/smoking.

However, if your neglecting her b/c you feel that a day at the crag is more important then her you need to get your priorities straight as far as were a hobby ends and a relationship begins.

Just my .02, good luck.

Seth

seth has a good point, if she's actively trying to keep you from it, that isn't cool. you also don't need to share the passion, necessarily. my girlfriend has a pretty casual interest in climbing, so she'll tag along when i go bouldering to hang out and hop on the rock a bit or follow an easy line at the crag, but i have climbing partners for the major outings. she and i get along just fine.

i think there's a juncture in everyone's life where you're going to have to choose between wholly devoting yourself to something or establishing a lifelong relationship and maybe a family. i feel a lot of people think they can do both, and they often have high-stress careers and strained family lives, or bail on the relationship side, succeed only marginally at their goal, and end up sort of unfulfilled.

if your crossroads is start a family vs. climb, i imagine it all depends on whether or not you're a badass enough to really make a living, that is, financially and emotionally, out of climbing. if you're worried about losing out on your hobby, just do your best to put off any formal commitment until you're old enough to want to settle down.

if your girlfriend just wants to spend more time with you, get creative and figure something out.

canyonclimber wrote: Is climbing worth breaking up for? Climbing is a passion for me but not my girlfriend. I'm at a crossroads. In the long run is climbing still there for you when your hurt or to old to climb. I need opinions from people that had to make this choice.

If you are seeking relationship advice on MP.Com,then it is your girlfriend who should be reconsidering her options.

Things might seem cool until you end up climbing a few hours later than you say... Then you are in trouble. Kind of hard to know when the day will be done.

If there is any doubt there is no doubt.

This is probably one of the best questions I've seen posted recently. I've climbed now for over 12 yrs and have known many climbers who have asked the same question. I think that there are a lucky few that find the right person and have their proverbial cake when it comes to the climbing lifestyle and a relationship.
Another more wide ranging question that I think is just as valid is what else in your life will you put before climbing... your choice of living location, what career you choose so as to have the time and make enough to provide you your climbing lifestyle?
I guess that the answer is different for everyone and life isn't static... so far climbing has been a deciding factor in many of my choices, and it's been completely worth it.
Good luck, BA

well...how hot is she???

Ken Cangi wrote: If you are seeking relationship advice on MP.Com,then it is your girlfriend who should be reconsidering her options.

hilarious.

if my girlfriend tried to stop me from climbing, or doing anything i loved, she wouldn't be my girlfriend anymore.

After I met my now wife I took a break from climbing for a little while, not because she asked me to but because I felt it was the right thing to do. Then after about a month I called my cousin to see if he wanted to climb the next day and he did. So I packed up my gear and @ 4:30 the next morning when the alarm went off and she asked me what was up? I said I was going climbing, all she said was have fun and I'll see you later. It's been pretty much like that for the last 8 years. I guess I just lucked out.

cstorms wrote: hilarious. if my girlfriend tried to stop me from climbing, or doing anything i loved, she wouldn't be my girlfriend anymore.

It's a two-way street, bro. You hang her up for climbing a few too many times, and she might end up down the street doing the guy who is giving her all of the attention while you are MIA.

Given your attitude, that would be hilarious.

Robert 560 wrote: I guess I just lucked out.

Or maybe you just didn't drop the ball when it came to your family.

Ken Cangi wrote: Or maybe you just didn't drop the ball when it came to your family.

My family is the most important thing to me and I try to include them in all aspects of my life. I have a 7 year old who's learning to a climb and a 2 year old who loves to put on a harness and just swing from a rope. My wife will sometimes do a little sport or top roping. So it's all good.

Robert 560 wrote: My family is the most important thing to me and I try to include them in all aspects of my life. I have a 7 year old who's learning to a climb and a 2 year old who loves to put on a harness and just swing from a rope. My wife will sometimes do a little sport or top roping. So it's all good.

Exactly my point. You put your family first when it counts, and your wife obviously appreciates that.

Ken Cangi wrote: Exactly my point. You put your family first when it counts, and your wife obviously appreciates that.

Thanks Ken. Just trying to do my best.

canyonclimber wrote: Is climbing worth breaking up for? Climbing is a passion for me but not my girlfriend. I'm at a crossroads. In the long run is climbing still there for you when your hurt or to old to climb. I need opinions from people that had to make this choice.

If the relationship isn't going anywhere anyway... then off with it.

I always said I hoped I'd meet a woman who would make me forget about climbing entirely... that'd be a hell of a woman.
The point is that if she fills more of your needs than climbing does, then I guess she'd be worth it.

My wife would divorce me if I didnt go climb, especially if I tooled around on climbing internet forums all day instead.

I think there is a good reason behind trainers not letting their male athletes copulate the night before.

Climbing nearly wrecked my marriage when I started. I became utterly obsessed with it. All my free time was devoted to it. All other priorities were rescinded (Alien fans will remember that!).

My wife pulled us through by not exacerbating the problem. She let me work though the issue and just stayed balanced. If she'd pushed me, I would have thrown it all away in a second. Climbing was that important to me. I didn't have room for anything else. But, like most obsessions, it eased a bit after a couple of years and then I was able to strike a reasonable family-climbing balance.

Is your girlfriend committed to the suffering necessary to see your relationship through to this type of balance? Are you capable of compromising? If not, the prognosis is probably grim if climbing is as important to you as it was (is) to me. You may just natrually end up pushing her away.

Straight talk and good listening is the first step.

NSFOD brings you the Straight Talk Express.

....sorry.

whipplejw wrote:NSFOD brings you the Straight Talk Express. ....sorry.

I am a bit of a maverick...