Free Serving of Narcissism in the April 2008 Issue of Rock & Ice!

God, I’m glad to be in the with the cools! I mean seriously, we climbers are sooo bad-ass! Just look at the cover of Rock & Ice, April 2008, and we can all see the future of climbing. For those of you not cool enough to have the latest issue (ha ha ha you suck), I’ll fill you in – check it: Spanish hard man Ramon Julian Puigblanque doing a 1-arm pull-up, flexing and posing for the camera sans shirt. Oh yeah, exactly the direction I want to see climbing going.

But it gets better, flip through the pages and you’re bound to stumble upon a delightful ad for a new MET-Rx meal replacement bar. Contained in that ad is some poseur guy, again with no shirt on all tan and sweaty and ripped (typical climber), red “I’m a bad-ass” bandanna around his wrist, couple cams hanging off his harness, rapping a single line with a gri-gri...opposite page, same poseur model guy, but this time he's a tough-guy construction man scaling a telephone pole with this smug "I'm so f*cking awesome" look on his face.

Then there’s the latest and greatest product from our friends at Black Diamond: The ATC-Sport, a new belay device similar to the ATC-XP, but designed to accommodate only a single line. This way we can finally shave off those extra 15 grams and maybe send our “proj.” Heck, who do you know that ever uses both slots in an ATC? After all, it’s so much faster and easier to just lower off my proj than to rap. And who cares about wearing out fixed hardware – somebody else will replace it. To be honest, I don’t even use that sort of nonsense for a belay device: I’m a gri-gri man myself (you know, like the MET-Rx ad). That way I can use both hands to eat my MET-Rx bar while I’m belaying my partner between redpoint burns on our proj. It hurts to be so cool...

Is this really what climbing is coming to? A mainstream sport centered on the ego and the “I look better than you while I’m climbing” mentality? I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m getting sick of seeing climbing all over the place. Climbing is being exploited right under our noses! The more popular it gets, the more likely we’re going to see access issues and accidents from gym-weaned princes of plastic testing their luck on the real thing. Heck, it’s not that far-fetched to think that there are bastards out there greedy enough to start charging for access to crags on private property. Even on public property! If the government sees climbing as a source of revenue, what’s to stop them? Is there anything we can do to save our sport?

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Oh yeah, one more thing: to MET-Rx. Take your ads and your models out of our magazines. You’re right at home with all of the other narcissistic meatheads in FLEX and Muscle & Fitness so stay there.

Agreed. Not too thrilled to see that issue.

Here is my thought: true pursuit of climbing will weed out the posers and pretenders. Out in the backcountry, on real stone, everything that is beautiful and right about what we do come to the foreground.

I think I saw something like this going on 20 years ago in the sport-climbing spandex blow-dry generation. Climbing was cool for a few months.

This stuff comes and goes.

Wave bye as it passes.

BJ Buckman wrote:Here is my thought: true pursuit of climbing will weed out the posers and pretenders. Out in the backcountry, on real stone, everything that is beautiful and right about what we do come to the foreground.

Good ideas. Jason, just chill, use the latest Rock and Ice like the sh*trag it is, and go climbing. My guess is that when you're out there, lost in the moment of onsighting some route you've had your eye on, all of your gripes will fade to the background.

That commercialization garbage, as well as pseudo-badass climbers in general, gets to me too and the only cures are:
1. Stop looking at it
2. Go trad climbing
3. Go multi-pitch (sport or trad) climbing

It's amazing to me how an approach longer than 10 minutes, or a lack of bolts, really weeds out most people. In southern Arizona, it's surprisingly easy to have an entire area to oneself on any given weekend.

Don't worry about the models and posers...after all, just because they have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that they too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.

Don't hatin' on the playas.

The new Prana Tape Worm® is going to bring svelte, Kate Moss thin model bodies within reach of the average beer gut climber. Next they'll market electrical ab stimulators that sculpt abs while you eat cookie dough ice cream and watch "Lost."

The Future is bright, brah!

[Prana Tape Worm® is not a tape glove creation aid or other aid for crack climbing. Tape Worm® is an actual tape worm that you insert within the anus. May cause cramps, loose stools, anal leakage, and wicked hard sends.]

It's easy....give R&I and Climbing the finger and cancel your subscriptions. I did it years ago and it really has improved my view of climbers in general..I actually like a few now.

Besides you have up to the minute updates on all the hardest sends right here on MP, and you don't have to see all those annoying full page ads.

The reason the climbing rags are so egocentric is because they have sold out to popular media and become portals for a new marketing niche..just say F U and keep your blood pressure in check.

As long as this new population of climbers sticks to the easy-to-access sport crags and bouldering areas, it's cool with me.

I don't see many of them making their way out to the further crags or even many trad-specific areas anyway. Their presence at certain areas will just get me to hike further; it's good thing, indirectly.

I see your point though, Jason.

--Marc

Tim wrote:

"Don't hatin' on the playas.

The new Prana Tape Worm® is going to bring svelte, Kate Moss thin model bodies within reach of the average beer gut climber. Next they'll market electrical ab stimulators that sculpt abs while you eat cookie dough ice cream and watch "Lost."

The Future is bright, brah!

[Prana Tape Worm® is not a tape glove creation aid or other aid for crack climbing. Tape Worm® is an actual tape worm that you insert within the anus. May cause cramps, loose stools, anal leakage, and wicked hard sends.]"

that was awesome.....

Greg wrote:

"Don't worry about the models and posers...after all, just because they have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that they too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."

This might be one of the funniest lines I have seen quoted on MP! Very nice Greg.

Greg Barnes wrote:Don't worry about the models and posers...after all, just because they have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that they too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.

Nice reference; love that movie!

Jason, perhaps Darwinism will limit these types of photos. For instance, climbers who attach themselves to the rope with a non-locking biner.

In honor of the photographers I know, who are trying to make a living eeking it out on the active, outdoor lifestyle, I would have to say that most photographers are just trying to get a good picture, and if you are gullible enough to take offense at what they are portraying, well...bully for you.

All the photographers I know who are selling their ads to R&I, Climbing, Outdoor, etc. are just trying to make a living. If one of them called you up to model, what would you say? "No"? Or would your ego take over and say, "Yeah! I'll model for you on my stipulations?" or would you say, "Do you pay??"

Or would you do the right thing and say, "Yes, I'll model, but we absolutely have to display this correctly so that others don't make fatal mistakes based on what they see in the picture."

Okay, but actually, I too can't stand to see idiocy displayed in ads where safety is key. I agree that if they are going to take pictures of sports such as climbing, they should make sure to at least get the basics right.

Rick Miske wrote:...This stuff comes and goes. Wave bye as it passes.

Rick, I hope you're right. And good comments here, by the way.

It just irks me a bit to think that this sport, which has really become more than a sport to me (and I'm sure many others out there too), could possibly be something we see in the mainstream media. Being in the mainstream is a step backwards and an insult to climbing in my opinion. Climbing to me embodies individuality, not fashion; it defines freedom, not conformity. Climbers are a different breed; we are not the everyday, run-of-the-mill, I-give-two-shits-about-my-pants type of people. But we’re seeing this surge of the “cools” coming about (at least in the mags); the folks who don’t look at climbing the way I think it should be viewed. The cools look at climbing as a source of pride, not inspiration…and they’re missing out big time. Most of the climbers I’ve met share my same beliefs, so a part of me wonders where all those cools are…of course, I don’t climb 5.14, boulder V12, or climb plastic all that much so perhaps our paths simply have not crossed.

Now, am I really all that fired up about this? No, not really. Do I ever have problems encountering the pretentious cools at the crags? Rarely, if ever. The fact is that most of us are out there to enjoy nature, to be with friends, and when the mood strikes us, to push ourselves technically, physically, and mentally, which is exactly how it should be. Braxton, I think you nailed it right on the head when you said,

Braxton Norwood wrote: It's amazing to me how an approach longer than 10 minutes, or a lack of bolts, really weeds out most people.

But in the meantime, let’s try to be diligent and direct this sport the way that we want it to go, rather than the way the mainstream media wants it. Sound good?

*** wrote:Jason, perhaps Darwinism will limit these types of photos. For instance, climbers who attach themselves to the rope with a non-locking biner.

YES!! Dang, that looks like a PMI static line too. Hope her belay is solid and her neck is strong if she takes air...

Mike McHugh wrote: Who is this cabal of nonconformists called "we", and when will they start imposing their diligent directions on the climbing populus? I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. -G. Marx

Mike, way to point that out.

climbing is cool

climbing scene is gay

Mike McHugh wrote:I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. -G. Marx

Too late. With that attitude, you're already a platinum member.

if we don't commercialize the living @#$% out of climbing, how are joe kinder (and others) who whine about not making a million $ a year going to afford a new porsche cayenne? riddle me that one smartguy!

i agree with kevin. i haven't bought a mag (of any sort) in several years, and i don't feel like i am missing much.

oh yeah, the chick in the photo above is obviously not a real climber.. too much of a beer gut.